


Together, we can handle it

by Velocibirb



Series: Tales from the Quarantine [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Ruby Rose (RWBY), Awkward Conversations, Banter, Blake ex Machina, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Finger Sucking, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Humor, Gender Dysphoria, Heavy Petting, Horny twentysomethings, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Lesbian Weiss Schnee, Love Bites, Making Out, Penis In Vagina Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Self-Hatred, Sexual Fantasy, Stoner!Blake, Trans Female Character, Trans Female Ruby Rose (RWBY), and they were quarantined! (oh my god they were quarantined), except blake is still a faunus bc kitty, excessive horniness, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:55:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 67,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26211523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velocibirb/pseuds/Velocibirb
Summary: Weiss and Ruby are early in their relationship and haven’t really done anything yet. Like, sure, they’re officially together, but to them that mostly means holding hands in public and cuddling at the RWBY apartment. Occasionally, they give each other pecks on the lips, but even that small action can get overwhelming.They both have good reason to take it slow, and they’re happy that way. Ruby is young, trans, and in her first relationship. With her dysphoria and internalized transphobia, she's too afraid of feeling like a predatory man to approach sex. Weiss, meanwhile, is working off years of sexual repression and internalized homophobia, struggling to convince herself she's not some sort of pervert. They have their issues to work out, sure, but they can take their time.Then quarantine begins.Well. It’s not like they have anything else to do but each other.Whiterose angst and smut with a focus on character development and all the tricky things that come with being queer and horny.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long, Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee
Series: Tales from the Quarantine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110560
Comments: 430
Kudos: 588





	1. Chapter 1

They had their third and final date the night before the quarantine began.

All things considered, Weiss couldn’t have hoped for a better date. Sure, perhaps it was the last night anywhere was open, the last chance she would have to take Ruby on the candlelit dinner she’d been planning for the last three weeks, but even under such circumstances, Weiss was confident she’d outdone herself. 

The whole evening had gone swimmingly, without any hitch or snag in Weiss’s plan. She’d taken Ruby out to the fanciest restaurant she knew, and despite her girlfriend’s rather base taste in food, Ruby seemed to enjoy the luxurious breads and soups they’d been served as appetizers. Their dinner flew by, with hardly a moment of silence or lacking in smiles. 

Perhaps, if she did say so herself, Weiss had outdone Ruby’s heart-melting Valentine’s Day confession a month prior, the momentous occasion which led to the two roommates and classmates becoming an official couple. Perhaps, since she’d done so well, Weiss hoped, Ruby would deign to grant her the kiss she craved so much. 

Weiss was aware of the so-called _third-date rule,_ despite her sheltered, conservative upbringing. And while she was fuzzy on the specifics, relying mostly on the tropes of various teen movies she’d snuck past her father’s stringent eyes in her youth, Weiss was a grown woman now, twenty-two years old. Everybody her age knew the third-date rule, right? That after the third date, they either had to kiss or break up?

She’d kissed Ruby before, to be sure. Weiss had given Ruby the faintest chaste peck on the lips on Valentine’s Day, struck dumb by Ruby’s confession, but even that had left Weiss flustered and shy. They’d kissed again, just as innocently, before bed one night. Weiss hadn’t been able to sleep for hours. On some fundamental level, Weiss knew Ruby wasn’t planning on leaving her if they had a bad date, but after such a perfect evening, Weiss knew, knew, _knew_ that Ruby would kiss her tonight.

For now, at least, Weiss was still satisfied with the scandalous, pre-marital hand-holding she was currently engaged in with her girlfriend. Ruby, half a head taller than her, even in the fancy heels Weiss had worn to dinner, was practically skipping beside her. Burning off her dinner, most likely, but Weiss felt herself weighed down with just as much apprehension as excitement. She’d never kissed anyone before, not _properly,_ and she and Ruby _lived together._ If Weiss made a fool of herself, how would she look Ruby in the eyes the next morning?

Ruby was the first and only roommate Weiss had ever had. She’d lived off-campus for her first two years of university, a vestige of her old snobbish attitude, but for her third year she decided to finally take the plunge and get the full “college experience,” on-campus living included, and she’d been roomed with one Ruby Rose, bright-eyed and maddeningly cute. Despite getting off on the wrong foot--Weiss had never met a trans woman before, and had barely begun to accept her own lesbian identity, and was, thus, not exactly pleasant company for the woman who gave her constant gay feelings--Ruby had refused to give up on her friendship. Over the course of a few weeks, the two of them became fast friends, close enough that when Ruby planned to move off-campus to live with her sister, Yang, and Yang’s girlfriend, Blake, Weiss had asked if she could still be her roomie.

The RWBY apartment, as the four of them had taken to calling it, began to come into view. Six floors above the ground, Weiss caught a glimpse of Blake Belladonna on the stone balcony. She was almost invisible against the dark night sky, cloaked in her long, free-flowing raven hair, only recognizable by the red reflection of her joint in her amber eyes. If she weren’t so familiar with the sight, Weiss wouldn’t have recognized the woman, but she was glad for the distraction. Ruby’s fingers felt so soft laced in hers. It took all Weiss could do to try not to imagine how much softer her lips were, and how, when the two of them reached the door to the apartment, Weiss was going to get to feel them against her own. 

Distantly, Weiss noticed Ruby give Blake a friendly wave. Acknowledged the blonde head of hair which joined Blake on the balcony, waving back. Unlocked the door to the apartment complex and pushed _six_ on the elevator. And then, before she knew it, was standing at the front door of her apartment, blushing red and hyperaware of her surroundings. 

“So, uh,” Weiss stammered. Who _was_ she? Weiss Schnee didn’t stammer! What did Ruby _do_ to her?

Ruby giggled. “That was a really nice date, Weiss. Thanks for going out with me.”

“I should thank you,” Weiss said, then bit back her words with, “since I’m the one who asked you out for tonight in the first place. Not that I’d expect you to be familiar with courting and the code of chivalry.”

“It’s so cute how you call going out on dates ‘courting.’”

“Anyways,” Weiss said. She cleared her throat. “You’re familiar with the third-date rule, correct?” Seeing the worried frown cross Ruby’s face, Weiss pressed on. “That tonight we need to either kiss or break up?”

“Right!” Ruby said, visibly relieved. “Kissing. Totally. Kissinggg. Yup.”

“So, Ruby Rose, would you…” Weiss’s cheeks reddened. “Would you do me the honor of a kiss?”

Ruby smiled that bright, beaming smile of hers, and, without a word, leaned in.

Weiss met her lips in a kiss as chaste as every kiss that had proceeded it. She brushed her lips against Ruby’s slowly and gently, her eyes fluttering shut. Her lips were soft. 

While, mechanically, there was nothing different about that kiss than any of the others before, there was something in this kiss that left Weiss covered in goosebumps. She pulled away, her mouth still slightly open, dizzy with the scent of roses. Ruby’s lips tasted like honey. Weiss wanted more. Needed more.

Holding her by the sides of her head, Weiss pulled Ruby into a fiercer kiss, squeezing her eyes shut. Ruby kissed her back with equal need, pressing into her, digging her strong, elegant fingers into Weiss’s shoulders. She could feel a _want_ in her, unfamiliar and terrifying, but she didn’t want it to stop, couldn’t let these feelings slip away. Weiss tangled her fingers in Ruby’s hair as she moaned into her first real kiss, her first _proper_ kiss, her first kiss driven not from affection but from sheer desire _._

Then Ruby’s tongue brushed against her lips, and Weiss felt a shiver run up her spine. She pulled away with a gasp. Ruby’s eyebrows knit as she opened her mouth to speak, but Weiss cut her off. “Inside?”

“Wh-”

“Keys?” Weiss gestured at Ruby’s jacket pocket. “Please?”

“Oh! Yeah. I, uh, I got ‘em.” Ruby’s hands shook a little as she fumbled the key into the lock, jiggled it, and finally unlocked the door to her apartment. “H-hey, we’re home-”

The door had barely closed before Weiss had shoved her tongue into Ruby’s mouth. The taller woman had let out a surprised squeak before melting into the kiss, her own tongue fluttering to attention in a way which made Wess’s chest surge with warmth. She pulled away for breath, barely able to catch a moment before Ruby pulled her into another kiss and took her lower lip between her teeth.

Weiss couldn’t keep herself from groaning at the sensation. Privately, she thanked the Lord that Blake and Yang were still on the balcony, or she might have died of embarrassment. 

Pushing into the kiss, Weiss licked into Ruby’s mouth, eager to know if she tasted like honey, like her lips. Later on, Weiss wouldn’t remember the taste at all, only the heat of Ruby’s mouth, the softness of her lips, her tongue. If asked, she’d say it tasted like lightning.

There was a _need_ in Weiss that scared her with its intensity. Something unladylike. Vulgar. Everything she’d never been before. And yet, Weiss couldn’t bring herself to stop, to even want to stop at all. Not if stopping means no longer tasting Ruby’s honeyed lips.

Weiss let out a whine when Ruby pulled away. She seemed concerned about something. Weiss couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Bedroom?” Ruby whispered. The soft timbre of her voice right up against Weiss’s ear set her cheeks ablaze. “If they come inside-”

“Just keep kissing me, you dolt,” Weiss snapped, dragging Ruby through their apartment and into their shared bedroom. She did her best not to slam the door in her haste, and despite her desperate need, Weiss Schnee’s best was still quite good, and the door shut softly.

Its hinges squealed when Ruby pinned Weiss against it, kissing her with a ferocity that shot straight to Weiss’s core. Her extremities tingled. She clenched her thighs together instinctively, anything to cure the growing heat, the sparks between her legs.

Weiss had never been so turned on in her entire life. 

She never expected to feel like this. Arousal was embarrassing, even mortifying at times, but right now she felt none of that. All she could do was want _more._ She pawed at Ruby, clutched at her back, tugging her closer, and she obliged, her body melting against Weiss’s. There was nothing Weiss wanted more than to stay right here, squeezed between her girlfriend and the door, feel the fabric of her corset against Weiss’s dress, her hands in her hair, her lips and tongue against her own, feeding that desire with more, more, _more._ They’d gone beyond kissing. They were starting to make out, and if they were going that far, Weiss thought, why stop? If Ruby wanted to take her then and there, Weiss might have been convinced. What was a little pre-marital sex between lovers, now that Ruby had kissed her?

Weiss tugged at Ruby’s jacket, making her intentions clear, and while Ruby struggled with social cues at the best of times, she understood immediately. She shrugged out of it quickly, as though she couldn’t bear to take her hands off of Weiss for even a moment, and Weiss concurred. Her skin tickled with goosebumps where she’d last felt Ruby’s fingers. Weiss ran her hands up Ruby’s now-bare arms, relishing the soft, smooth skin and the lithe muscles underneath. She clutched at Ruby ever tighter, pulling her as close as she could. All of that, and she still hadn’t broken the kiss.

Then Weiss felt Ruby’s erection pressed against her hip, and everything was suddenly much more real. 

Ruby felt it too. She froze up, muscles tense as coiled springs. Weiss slowed, catching her breath. Ruby’s perfume filled her mind. Lost in the most lustful moment of her young life, she reached, slowly but purposefully, for Ruby’s dick. Her thoughts blurred with want.

Before Weiss’s wandering hand could reach her, Ruby pulled away, gasping for air. “I-” Ruby started, but her throat was dry. As she cleared it, Weiss spoke.

“Are you alright? I don’t know what what came over me, I-”

“I’m okay,” Ruby breathed, holding up a hand. 

“I’m sorry for taking advantage of you!”

“What?” Ruby cocked her head. “Weiss, you didn’t do anything.”

“I _almost_ did,” Weiss huffed, her eyes wide and watery. “We just kissed for the first time, and suddenly I’m pawing at you like some lecherous monster!”

“I’m the one who pushed you against the door. If anyone should apologize, it’s me.” She put a hand against the back of her neck.

Weiss cocked her head. What was Ruby on about? _She_ was the one who had gone mad with lust, kissing Ruby like she’d wanted to take her then and there. “I started all this in the first place.”

“I’m the one who got h-hard,” Ruby whined. “That, uh, does not happen very often. Wow. I wasn’t planning on-”

Weiss waved a hand dismissively. “That’s just your body. Bodies do things. _My_ body did things, Ruby, my head was so foggy, I couldn’t- what did you _do_ to me?”

Ruby’s eyes widened. “Oh, fuck, what _did_ I do to you? I pushed you around and I was, uh, was I just g-grinding on you?”

“I _liked_ it, Ruby!” Weiss snapped. “I… I guess that’s what frightened me.”

“Okay,” Ruby breathed. “I guess that makes two of us. Heh.”

Weiss nodded. When she finally comprehended Ruby’s words, she shook her head. “Don’t be silly, Ruby. You did nothing wrong.”

“You’re sure? I was kinda pushing you around like some gross guy.” Ruby bit her lip. “I got way too into it.”

“As did I,” Weiss affirmed. “I, _whew,_ I was _not_ thinking straight.” Their relationship was moving faster than Weiss had ever expected. A month of pecks on the cheek and the lips, and suddenly she was groping at Ruby like some sort of animal in heat. She could feel her entire face turning red, from forehead to shoulders, like she’d just ran a seven-minute mile. “I’ve never felt like that before, Ruby.”

“What, horny?” Ruby joked, laughing nervously.

Weiss rolled her eyes, though in all honesty, she was glad Ruby had tried to defuse the tension with a joke. “Never with such intensity, I’ll admit.”

“I kinda have?” Ruby blushed. “God, not since I was a stupid, horny teenager and didn’t have the right hormones. Yeesh.”

“Maybe we should slow down a little?”

Ruby let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah. I, uh, I wasn’t ready for that.”

“Nor I.” Weiss stretched her neck, letting her heartbeat slow. “There’s no rush. I’m happy just to be with you.”

“Aww, Weiss!” Ruby scooped her up in a bear hug, holding her a couple inches off the ground, despite Weiss’s protests. Either she knew Weiss secretly liked it or took her weak complaints as purely performative. “You’re the best.”

“I know.” Weiss’s cheek was smooshed against Ruby’s. It muffled her words a little. 

Ruby set her back on her feet. “We can totally do this, y’know? Go slow. We’re grown women, not horny teenagers. We can keep our hands off one another.”

“Yes!” Weiss laughed, puffing out her chest. “Absolutely. We’ll take it as slow as we need to. Not that going fast is-is _bad_ or anything, er-”

“Yeah,” Ruby said, unhelpfully.

“-But _we_ want to take it slow.” Weiss shook herself. A white hair fell to the ground. “Yes.”

“Yeah,” Ruby repeated. “Just ‘cause we’re gonna be stuck self-quarantining doesn’t mean we’re just gonna go at it, right?”

Weiss blinked. 

_Shit._

She normally wasn’t one to curse, even in her thoughts, but this certainly warranted it. Weiss had completely forgotten about the stay-at-home order. The self-quarantining with her girlfriend. In a tiny apartment.

Stuck for an indeterminate amount of time in a tiny apartment with her gorgeous girlfriend who had just inspired in her the strongest arousal Weiss had ever experienced.

“Right,” Weiss said. “Just because we’re in quarantine does not mean we’re incapable of controlling ourselves.”

This was going to be harder than she’d thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the lovely comments on chapter one! They brought a smile to my face. 
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter two. It's a bit of a shorter one, but the next few chapters should make up for that. 
> 
> CW for minor mention of real-life current events (it's a quarantine fic, what'd you expect?) and more making out.

For many, quarantine was a time of great sorrow. By the spring equinox, everywhere in Vale was closing up, placing economic stress on millions of families, but they were luckier still than those infected by the rapidly spreading pandemic.

The inhabitants of the RWBY apartment, however, were mercifully spared of such concerns. Weiss and Blake came from wealthy backgrounds of varying degrees, so their greatest stress, beyond that of living through a global crisis, was that of being trapped in a small space.

It was, perhaps, easiest on Blake. The cat Faunus, despite her skittish nature, was a homebody at heart, and relished the chance to read her books by the window and laze in the sunlight. Were it not for the unfortunate circumstances outside, she might have even been thankful for the opportunity. 

Yang, too, appeared unconcerned. As much as she missed her chance to go out and party or work the exercise machines at the gym, she had weights at home and all the time in the world to pump iron. Plus, showering at home rather than the gym gave her easy access to her ample collection of hair care products.

The stay-at-home order chafed at Weiss, however. It reminded her too often of the hours she’d wasted in her youth, trapped in Schnee Manor with nothing to do underneath her father’s scrutinizing gaze. At least this time around, she was free to do as she wished and in better company—she enjoyed Yang’s dad jokes to an extent, valued Blake’s subdued conversation, and the mere presence of her beloved Ruby.

Poor, poor Ruby. For a girl as filled with energy as Ruby Rose, the cramped apartment felt like a cage. There were only so many cookies she could eat before she was bouncing off the walls with restlessness, quickly growing bored of her usual practices; watching bad anime, sketching unwieldy mechanical weaponry, or flexing her reflexes in twitchy video games.

 _And_ she was stuck in close proximity to her beautiful girlfriend. Well. It wasn’t like they had anything to do but each other.

They _tried_ to take it slow, of course. After the intensity of their first kiss/make-out session, the two of them had mellowed somewhat. Weiss had her sexually repressive upbringing to work off and Ruby was still far from comfortable enough with her body to share it with her girlfriend, but despite these barriers, something had been awakened within both young women the night before. There was a yearning that had not been there prior, a powerful thirst felt oh-so keenly by those who had never had a metaphorical drop to drink before. Despite Ruby’s disgust at her body and her fear of being predatory, despite Weiss’s years of conditioning to look down on any sexual act as sin, let alone with another woman, both of them still understood that the only reason they were able to keep their hands to themselves was the constant close quarters with Yang, and to a lesser extent, Blake.

The walls of the apartment weren’t _that_ thin, but that didn’t keep Weiss from shuddering at the thought of Yang overhearing her and Ruby in the midst of one of their trysts. She hadn’t even managed to go one full day without falling back into Ruby’s all-too-welcoming arms, lips locked, tongues exploring one another. They didn’t even make it past dinner. Weiss had been whimpering to herself as Ruby nibbled and sucked at her lower lip when they heard Blake call out that Yang had cooked up some tofu for them and was threatening to eat it herself if the two of them didn’t come soon. _That_ had been an awkward dinner, though Yang, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice.

Not that the shame could keep them from kissing again right afterward. Ruby’s mouth still tasted of soy sauce, though Weiss couldn’t bring herself to care if she tried.

Their shared room wasn’t exactly set up for them as a couple just yet. The two of them still slept in separate, twin-size beds on either side of the room, each decorated to their whims. Weiss’s spotless, minimalist side of the room stood in contrast to Ruby’s messy desk, littered with sketchbooks, cups, and a red-and-black gaming PC she’d built herself, Crescent Rose. Ruby’s corset and skirt sat on the floor, along with other various pieces of apparel, her sleep mask, and the pair of headphones she wore when she went to sleep.

Weiss’s side of the room, however, was quickly growing just as messy. Ruby’s hoodie was mixed with the blankets the two of them had pushed off of Weiss’s bed in their haste. Writhing underneath Ruby, moaning into her mouth, Weiss was reasonably certain she heard a pillow hit the ground. She didn’t really have it in herself to care.

“More,” Weiss breathed. She raked her nails down Ruby’s back, relishing in just how soft Ruby’s skin was. Weiss had soft skin and she knew it--she put a lot of energy into her skincare routine, nearly as much as Yang did for her hair--but Ruby’s skin was perfect. It was dotted with the occasional dark freckle here and there and it was impossibly soft. Weiss distantly recalled Ruby telling her that her hormones made her skin softer, but Weiss produced those same hormones naturally, and her skin _still_ wasn’t that soft, despite her best effort. Life was unfair.

“More what?” Ruby managed to get out between kisses.

Weiss groaned. For somebody so clever with machinery, numbers, and tactics, Ruby was terrible at nonverbal communication. She grabbed Ruby by the back of her head and pulled her into a deeper kiss. Ruby squeaked.

Breaking the kiss with a _pop,_ Weiss caught her breath. “Kiss me more,” she panted. “Touch me more. Hold me closer.”

“You sure?”

“Ruby.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “I want to suck your tongue.”

“Oh.” Ruby’s face burned pink. Weiss wasn’t sure if she imagined the younger girl whisper a heartfelt “nice!”

Weiss still couldn’t understand how she’d gone from being perfectly content in her innocent romantic relationship with Ruby to craving her body pressed against her own in less than twenty-four hours. It was like Ruby had reached deep inside her and flipped some switch, turned on some part of her she’d never known before. Was this her life now? Was she destined to lose her mind at the smell of her girlfriend’s rose-scented perfume, to drool over her wiry, muscular shoulders, to feel her thighs quiver at Ruby’s stupid squeaky excited voice, goddamnit, why did _that_ have to cut straight to her core?

The quarantine! It had to be the quarantine, didn’t it? She wouldn’t be such a horny monster if she wasn’t stuck with Ruby. If there hadn’t been a quarantine, Weiss would have been out and about in the world, doing… something, she’s sure. Something proper. Ladylike. Something to prove her discipline, reinforce her self-control. She knew she could do it, she just had to think!

Or… 

Or she could just kiss Ruby a little bit longer. Maybe run her hands along the muscles of her back, wrap her legs around Ruby’s waist and never let her go.

Ruby pulled back for breath. Her pupils were blown wide, her lips plush and swollen from kissing. Weiss couldn’t bear to look away. “Wow,” Ruby whispered. “And here I thought _I_ was wild.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Weiss bristled. “Are you implying I’m some sort of- I’ll have you know I’m perfectly composed!”

“If this is composed, I can’t wait to see you when you’re desperate,” Ruby said. Her silver eyes gleamed mischievously. She faltered. “Is that too far? I feel like I’m going too far. Am I going too far?”

“You’ll have to go farther than that to phase me,” Weiss lied. In an attempt to hide her blush, she pushed Ruby into another kiss, slipping her tongue against Ruby’s. It felt electric. Ruby’s tongue felt so _hot_ against her own, searing the sensitive appendage like a branding iron. 

Until now, Weiss had always thought the word “steamy” was metaphorical. It was not. The sweat on her skin seemed to be evaporating, boiling off her heated skin, flooding her mind with humidity. The arousal simmering threatened to burst when Weiss finally managed to draw Ruby’s tongue into her mouth, moaning around the wet heat.

It was too much for one moment. Weiss pulled away, her head spinning. She caught a glimpse of a thin line of saliva connecting her lips to Ruby’s, another dripping from the other girl’s tongue, dazedly hanging out of her mouth, and that wasn’t all. Ruby’s lips were dripping. _Soaked._

Fuck, Weiss was too, between her thighs.

“God, if you only knew,” Ruby gasped, “the things I wanna do to you.”

Weiss froze. Her brain overheated, and if she didn’t know better, Weiss could have sworn steam came out of her pinkened ears.

“Whatever you want, Ruby.” Weiss’s voice wavered. “I- I’m yours.”

Ruby’s eyes widened, hazy with flagrant lust. Weiss pushed her backwards, and the taller girl acquiesced, allowing Weiss to straddle her hips. She was so _warm._ Even through her leggings, Weiss could feel the heat emanating from Ruby’s core, the soft give of her skin. She caught her in a kiss, and then another, hands white-knuckled gripping her top.

When Weiss pulled away for breath, fully intentioned to kiss Ruby once again, a hand on her shoulder stopped her. “Weiss, you don’t look so hot.”

Weiss glared.

“No! Not like that!” Ruby giggled nervously. “I mean, didn’t we say to take it slow?”

“…We did,” Weiss agreed.

“Okay. Let’s, uh, let’s pause a moment and catch our breath.”

“Good idea.” Weiss took in a deep breath, held it, and let it out. She moved off of Ruby. “Thank you. I lost sight of myself for a moment there.” She chuckled. There was no mirth to it. “The first day of quarantine and I’m already putty in your hands.

Ruby gave her a good-natured smile, eyebrows raised in concern. “I could tell you were kinda out of it.” Of all the times for Ruby’s hit-or-miss social skills to kick in. “I don’t want you to push yourself for me. I, uh, I meant what I said. You’d freak if you knew the things I’ve thought about…”

Weiss swallowed. For a moment, she almost wanted to ask what sorts of things Ruby imagined doing to her, if they were merely passionate or utterly depraved. What, praytell, did Ruby plan to do with her later in the quarantine? Perhaps Weiss couldn’t even imagine it, she thought with a shiver. What if she knew so little of sex that Ruby’s dark desires were beyond her current understanding, completely out of left field? She bit her lip. Maybe it was better not to ask. Less than twenty-four hours ago she hadn’t even kissed Ruby properly yet, and here she was wondering about her girlfriend’s fantasies, and they were trying to take it slow! Weiss’s mouth went dry. If it weren’t for Ruby’s self-control, Weiss wouldn’t have thought twice about going further. What sort of pervert was she? _Foul,_ Weiss thought. _Vile._

She cleared her throat. “Cuddle?”

Ruby blinked. “Huh? I guess I’ve thought about that, but it wasn’t what I-”

“Cuddle me?” Weiss asked. “Now?”

“Oh! For sure.” Ruby wrapped her arms around her. “I’ve got you.”

“I trust you,” Weiss said. She opened her mouth to elaborate, then decided that was enough. Let Ruby make what she would of it.

However the rest of quarantine would go--whether Weiss would spend it thirsting over her girlfriend, let the younger girl have her way with her, manage to satisfy herself with kisses, or even make their relationship work at all--it certainly wouldn’t be boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think Weiss 'n Ruby are excessively horny now, just you wait. It's going to get a lot worse for these two before it gets better...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for this chapter: more makin' out, now with finger sucking.

Ruby always thought Weiss was cute. She loved the way her off-center ponytail bobbed when she walked, admired her flawless posture, and adored the color of her eyes.

What Ruby hadn’t quite realized was that Weiss was _hot._ And she was in for a rude awakening, quite literally. 

She couldn’t quite place what had woken her this morning, on the third day of quarantine, in the small room she shared with Weiss. It was quiet, save for Weiss’s heavy breathing on the other side of the room. Rolling over in bed, Ruby slipped off her sleep mask, rubbing her eyes. She looked at Weiss. She rubbed her eyes again. No way.

At the foot of her bed stood Weiss in a lunge, hair tied back in a messy bun, sweat dripping down her forehead. Ruby could only see her profile, the pale iris of Weiss’s scarred eye showing that she hadn’t put her contact in yet. She was clad only in a blue sports bra and the whitest, tightest yoga pants Ruby had ever seen.

She wanted to stop staring, but Weiss hadn’t noticed her yet, and without any sort of external pressure, Ruby couldn’t tear her eyes away from Weiss’s rear, hugged and supported by those goddamn yoga pants. Slowly, Ruby began to remember just what sort of dream she’d been having. Judging by the state of her lower anatomy… It had been a long time since Ruby had morning wood with any regularity, not since before she started hormones. Hopefully this wouldn’t be a regular occurrence. She swallowed. She felt like such a creep, especially considering how she and Weiss were trying to take it slow, but Ruby was unable to keep her eyes off Weiss’s tight, white yoga pants and the way they hugged the subtle curve of her hips, her thighs, and in particular, the place where her thighs met her hips. 

She’d just woken up, _hard,_ to the sight of her girlfriend doing hot yoga. God, she could _smell_ her. Ruby had never thought sweat smelled good before. What was _wrong_ with her?

It was a good thing Weiss had AirPods in so she couldn’t hear Ruby’s jaw hit the floor.

* * *

This was how Ruby learned of Weiss’s plan to beat the quarantine.

Apparently, she’d written up a daily schedule that included exercising before her morning shower, eating meals at designated hours, and a strict bedtime of midnight, rather than obeying the whims of her circadian rhythm, as Ruby often did. 

Somehow, Weiss didn’t seem to notice Ruby’s ogling, and Ruby didn’t know whether to feel relief at not being found out or further guilt for her morning voyeurism. Thankfully, Weiss seemed to have better control of herself than Ruby did, back to her normal strong-willed self. She scoffed at Ruby’s bedhead when she’d returned from the shower, asked if Ruby wanted to brush her hair, and Ruby jumped at the opportunity. 

Nora could call her a _simp_ in the discord server all she liked, but Ruby would do anything for Weiss, as long as she got to be near her. 

Speaking of the RWBYJNPR discord server, Ruby had made plans to play online with her friends. Quarantine couldn’t be that bad if she could just live like this, she thought. Besides, she had a full schedule, to boot! First, she’d wreck Jaune in a match of XCOM, play some Smash Bros with Ren and Nora, and, once the game was released, she’d visit Pyrrha’s island in the new Animal Crossing. Spending her days with Crescent Rose, chilling in her gaming chair, snacking on cookies when she won a match of Overwatch? She couldn’t think of anything she’d like better.

She might as well make herself comfortable. She wasn’t going outside today. She didn’t have to tuck in the privacy of her own home, right? It wasn’t exactly comfortable, and she wasn’t _that_ dysphoric. She could handle a glance between her legs in her sleep-shorts, see that it wasn’t totally flat, and not break down. Besides, she wasn’t totally passing today anyway. She knew her facial hair was tickling in, and while she’d had laser done on it, it wasn’t entirely gone; the process worked better on dark hair and pale skin, rather than Ruby’s healthy brown tan and pale red stubble. 

...On second thought, she should really shave. But she could handle not tucking. Maybe she’d even reward herself for her bravery with one of Blake’s special cookies… She shook the thought from her head. Not today, not after the way she’d been staring at Weiss. Still, she could reward herself by binging bad anime and sketching ridiculous weaponry. She deserved it. 

* * *

When Weiss returned to the room she shared with Ruby after lunch--she’d wanted a little privacy to journal in the sun on the balcony--she was rather unsurprised to find Ruby watching bad anime. As far as Weiss could tell, she had yet to make it out of bed. The garbage Chromebook Ruby used to take notes in class was sitting on her bed, fans whirring louder than the high-pitched Japanese coming from the speakers. 

Privately, Weiss was relieved. Surely she couldn’t lose herself in lust over _this_ sight. As long as Ruby lazed about, she wouldn’t risk a repeat of the other day’s actions. Weiss may have been turned into some sort of gutter-minded pervert by the damnable quarantine, but at least she could suppress it when Ruby indulged in the sin of sloth. 

The bad anime helped her more than anything else, in all honesty. What Ruby saw in it, Weiss would never understand. When she voiced her opinions in a casual, callous, most Schnee-esque way, Ruby humored her with a good-natured argument.

“Violence is cool,” Ruby shrugged. “People like weapons fighting and stuff. This isn’t real people getting hurt like ancient Roman gladiators or anything, and besides, it’s way more epic!”

Weiss had to grant her that, but at least she couldn’t possibly be turned on while her girlfriend called anime _epic._ “Ruby, have you taken your hormones yet?”

“No?”

Weiss sighed. “You either have or you haven’t, Ruby.”

Ruby shrugged helplessly. “I gotta take ‘em with food or I’ll get nauseous, y’know? I’ll take them when I eat breakfast.”

“You haven’t eaten breakfast yet? Ruby, it’s-” she glanced at the clock. “Ruby, it’s a quarter to one.”

“H-what?” Ruby’s eyes widened. “Fu-fudgenuggets! I totally lost track of time!” She flipped the covers off of herself, arching her back in a stretch.

“Anime,” Weiss muttered under her breath. She shook her head, a hand on her forehead. “Honestly, Ruby, I-”

Weiss’s voice cut off abruptly. Something fluttered deep in her stomach, an unfamiliar feeling she couldn’t ignore. Weiss had seen Ruby like this before--they’d been roommates for ages. She had seen Ruby stretching in her sleepwear on hundreds of mornings and afternoons like these, her hair mussed from sleep, the gentle but undeniable bulge in her sleep shorts, her nipples poking through her black tank top. It was always a pleasant sight, but there was something _different_ about it today, something that sent Weiss’s mouth dry and snatched her voice straight from her lips. 

“Lemme grab a breakfast bar and brush my teeth and I’ll be back for my meds, ‘kay?”

Weiss blinked. She shook her head, coming back to herself. “You don’t need to ask for my permission.”

“Oh, I know!” Ruby said cheerfully. She cracked her neck and moved for the door. “Just don’t wanna leave you here lonely or anything, you know?” And, with that, Ruby disappeared into the living room.

“...too sweet for her own good,” Weiss muttered to nobody in particular. Beyond the barely-open door, she could hear the sounds of Ruby fumbling in the kitchen for one of Yang’s protein bars, humming the theme of the anime she’d been watching. In the privacy of her own room, meanwhile, Weiss sat on her bed and let out a breath. She trailed her hand over her stomach, just beneath her navel, as if it could quell the butterflies beneath her fingertips.

Damnation, she shouldn’t be so _easy!_ Weiss shot a glare towards the door. How _dare_ Ruby turn her on without even _trying._ “This should be illegal,” Weiss grumbled. Ruby wasn’t properly dressed, made up, or anything! She was just _existing,_ cozied up with her blankets in her most comfortable clothes, yet even so, she had left Weiss unexpectedly and uncomfortably aroused. A wave of shame coiled behind the heat in her gut. She felt like some sort of pervert, wanting Ruby when she hadn’t even done anything to incite such a reaction.

Then again, how could Weiss _not_ thirst over her girlfriend when she was clad so scantily? Ruby’s long, shapely legs, toned from her time on her the Signal High boy’s (unfortunately) track team, never failed to catch Weiss’s eyes. She kept them shaved smooth religiously for both reasons of dysphoria and to maximize her aerodynamics, and Weiss was plenty fine with that. The less hair between Ruby’s sinfully soft skin and her own, the better, as far as she was concerned.

Speaking of little between them, Ruby _probably_ should have slept in a thicker tank top. The black tank emblazoned with a little red heart was clearly from an earlier time in Ruby’s transition. The straps hung loose on Ruby’s shoulders, a remnant of days when they’d been broader and more muscular. The chest, meanwhile, clung to her tightly, enough to keep the fabric from slipping and exposing her breasts to all the world, but more importantly, to Weiss. As far as she was concerned, the damnable top was unfair, teasing her like that. For months, Weiss had simply brushed aside her feelings towards Ruby’s boobs as mere jealousy, insecurity at her own “petitties,” as Yang had once not-so-eloquently put it, but by now, Weiss knew better. She wasn’t jealous--okay, she _was_ , but just a _little_ , and a little more for how Ruby had grown better results from a once-male chest than Weiss could without that disadvantage--but it was mostly attraction. Weiss liked Ruby’s tits. Sue her.

What Weiss was most unprepared for, however, was the bubbling feelings of shame and arousal boiling in her gut at the sight of Ruby’s bulge. The sight brought forth a cascade of emotions she would have rather kept buried. Most often, looking at Ruby was pleasure enough in itself, a feast for her eyes, but it was with a jolt that Weiss realized she wasn’t just turned on _by_ Ruby, but _for_ Ruby. She wanted to touch her, make Ruby as riled up for her body as Weiss was for hers, watch her wriggle in her grip, hear her whimper and whine into Weiss’s ears. The mental image made her blush. She couldn’t think of doing such things to Ruby, not like this, not when they’d only just begun to move beyond the most chaste of kisses and innocent snuggles. She tried not to feel too ashamed, embarrassed at her desires. This was natural, wasn’t it? No matter what she’d been taught growing up, the way she’d learned to fear the sinful desires of the flesh?

It had to be natural, Weiss decided, setting her jaw. It was the work of her freshly-awakened libido, some prehistoric reproductive instinct preserved through eons of natural selection. Weiss relaxed onto her pillow, the weight in her stomach lifting. She understood her desires now, and she wasn’t hurting anyone just by fantasizing about feeling Ruby inside of her, was she? She clenched her eyes shut, fighting the blush that threatened to overtake her face and pinken her ears, and took a deep breath. She could want Ruby to make love to her. It was perfectly normal. Weiss let herself relax, fidgeting as she tried to find a comfortable position on her bed to let her mind wander. The fantasy came to her easily, an image of herself and Ruby at some indefinite point in the future, rings on their fingers, avoiding the sin of premarital sex as Ruby bared her length to her, a goofy smile on her face as Weiss moved to straddle-

“You doing okay there, Weissy?”

Weiss shot up with a shriek. She looked left and right before spotting an equally startled Ruby, frozen in the middle of reaching for a small bottle of blue pills. Weiss flushed. “I’m fine.”

“The way you look, I kinda feel like I walked in on something,” Ruby chuckled, popping a pill into her mouth as she grabbed a second bottle; her spironolactone, testosterone-blockers. “I just thought that maybe, um, since my teeth are all brushed and everything, you might wanna kiss me now?”

“I- you-” Weiss spluttered. She could feel the blush on her ears. “Kiss or _kiss-_ kiss?”

“Um.” Ruby bit her lip. She stared at the floor. “Kiss-kiss, if that’s something you’d be interested in? If it’s not, I totally feel you, I mean, it’s like day three of quarantine and I don’t want to rush into anything you’re not ready for, ‘cause, like, I know there’s a lot of stuff I’m _way_ not ready for, and-”

“You’re a moron,” Weiss said, more to cover up her embarrassment than anything else. “You may kiss me, I-I _guess._ If you want.”

Ruby beamed. From across the room, Weiss could almost taste the mint of her toothpaste. She darted over to Weiss, the mattress dipping under her bare knees, and took her hands in her own. They were bigger than Weiss’s, though not by much, but it was enough for Ruby to cup her hands protectively, like they were dainty treasures to be cherished. She brought a pale, slender hand to her lips to press a kiss against the knuckle.

Weiss’s head spun. Never before had so little a gesture brought such a blush to her face.

Chuckling a little under her breath, Ruby kissed the back of her hand again. It was closed-lipped, chaste and controlled, but Weiss couldn’t help but shiver at the soft touch of Ruby’s lips. She could feel Ruby was holding back somehow, but, sheltered as she was, in her flustered state, she couldn’t quite think of what more Ruby could do.

Then Ruby slipped the tip of one long, elegant finger into her mouth, sucking at it gently. Her tongue circled the digit.

Weiss _moaned._

She had never moaned before in her life. Not like this. Had never been so physically and emotionally wound up that she’d had to voice her feelings at the intensity of it. Ruby’s mouth was warm and wet and soft, and her lips felt so good around her finger, and her tongue tickled her skin in a way that sent excited shivers up Weiss’s spine.

Then it struck her. Beyond the physical sensations, the intimacy of her girlfriend’s lips, Ruby’s gorgeous, half-lidded eyes, Weiss realized _exactly_ what was going on. Ruby was sucking her finger. She was _inside_ Ruby. 

_Holy shit._

She pulled back her finger with a jolt. As small as Ruby’s actions were, everything was overwhelming, too hot, too wet, too _soft._ It threatened to tear her apart from within.

Ruby didn’t get the memo. She cocked her head to the side, eyebrows raised in concern. “Are you okay? I didn’t make you uncomfortable or-”

“I’m _very_ okay,” Weiss breathed. She took Ruby’s hands in her own. “May I?”

“What are you gonna do?”

Weiss scowled, pressing a kiss to the back of Ruby’s hand. “I thought it would be obvious.”

“It’s really not!” Ruby squirmed. The bridge of her nose was adorably pink. Weiss wanted to boop it. Nora was wiser than Weiss gave her credit for. “Weiss! I mean, okay, it’s obvious, but I don’t know if I’m reading this right. Are you, um-”

“I just want to do to you what you did to me.” Weiss kissed the back of her hand again. “If that’s alright?”

Ruby’s blush reached her ears. “Yeah, I just, um, can we kiss first?”

“If you’d prefer.” Weiss shrugged, dropping Ruby’s hand to pull her into a kiss. Her lips were chapped, but even so, they were soft enough for Weiss. She held Ruby by the shoulders, her fingers tangling in the too-loose straps of her black tank top.

Ruby kissed her back far more tentatively than Weiss had expected, considering the girl had just taken her finger into her mouth. Weiss had never even heard of doing such a thing before, but Ruby had caught her off-guard, warm and wet and _eager_ to show Weiss just how ignorant she was. In the middle of their open-mouthed, slow kissing, Weiss shivered, thinking of all the other things she had yet to learn, that Ruby could teach her as they explored this avenue of intimacy together. She licked out to meet Ruby’s tongue, so much more shy than it had been around her finger moments before, but Weiss caught it, deepening their kiss, tilting her head to the side. 

When she finally pulled away, her chest heaving for air, she was met with the most delicious sight: Ruby, sitting dazed before her. Her pupils were blown, her irises reduced to thin rings of silver. Blush engulfed her cheeks, stretching over the bridge of her nose, and her already-messy bedhead was even scruffier than before, further enhancing her stupefied appearance even more.

To think Weiss had thought Ruby looked tempting before.

She took Ruby’s hand in her own again. This time, the younger girl didn’t object, watching with wide eyes, her wetted lips opened slightly in anticipation. Weiss pressed an open-mouthed kiss against the back of Ruby’s palm, teasing her with a touch of the tip of her tongue, smirking inwardly at the shiver she could see run up Ruby’s spine as she jumped. She kissed her knuckles one by one, rolling her thumb in gentle circles against the soft skin of Ruby’s wrist. Weiss’s eyes fluttered closed as she kissed again and again, losing herself in the sounds of Ruby’s breathing, kissing down the side of her index finger until it came to rest against her lower lip. She pressed against it, letting the tip slip ever-so-slightly into the warmth of her mouth. She brushed against it with the tip of her tongue, surprised at how much bigger it felt between her lips than it had in her hand. Ruby whimpered.

Weiss pushed. She took Ruby’s finger deeper into her mouth, rested the pad against the flat of her tongue, and sucked in her cheeks. Ruby shivered, muscles tensing and relaxing as Weiss massaged it with her lips, breathing in steadily through her nose. She could feel her face burning, brow creasing as she struggled not to lose her composure. She was Weiss Schnee! Surely she could handle this one small act, suck and tease just one of Ruby’s fingers! It was nothing. _Nothing._ She had Ruby in her mouth, that was all. Ruby was in her mouth. Ruby was inside of her. _Fuck._

Weiss slipped Ruby’s finger from her mouth, biting her tongue to keep from whining. It was all too intense, so all-encompassing. She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t focus on Ruby’s delightful disheveled appearance, her heavy breathing, her squeezed-shut eyes. She could still feel Ruby’s finger on her tongue, tingling adrenaline. 

“Weiss,” Ruby panted. “C-can I?” Slowly, she held up her hand again, extending two fingers this time. “I wanna-”

Weiss took her by the wrist. She pressed both fingers against her lower lip, was struck by a thousand mental images at once, and promptly let go, burying her face in her hands in embarrassment. 

“Weiss!” Ruby dropped her hand, arms bent awkwardly, as though she didn’t know whether to comfort her girlfriend or give her space. “Are you--was that too much?”

“Yeah,” Weiss croaked.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have, like, I mean, I didn’t want to make you-”

“I’m okay,” Weiss said, though she didn’t deign to show her face. “Just, ah. Overwhelmed.”

Ruby nodded. “It’s okay. Do you want me to stay, or do you need a minute to decompress, or-”

“Stay.” Weiss raised her head, red from ear to ear. She took a deep breath. “Maybe, uh, put on that show of yours? I think it might help me calm myself down.”

“No problem.” Ruby slid off the bed, grabbing her laptop from the other side of the room as Weiss shuffled, seating herself at the edge of the bed. She swung her feet, almost childishly, and her wandering mind drifted to the way Ruby always bounced her leg whenever she tried to sit still. 

Weiss sighed. She had sucked Ruby’s fingers. Well, _finger_ , but regardless, she’d done it. She’d felt Ruby _inside_ of her, even just a little, followed the molten urges in her core for the first time in her life. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying. Shame, unwanted and unforgiving twisted in her gut, heavy like wet concrete. She felt like some sort of… she didn’t have the words for it. What came to her mind was _harlot,_ mumbled behind gritted teeth in her father’s voice. She brushed it from her mind with a shake of the head. She’d taken Ruby inside her, technically, and she’d liked it.

Ruby returned to her side, sitting at the edge of the bed. She put her palm on top of Weiss’s, a small, soft gesture of affection.

“What are you watching?” Weiss asked. Ruby mumbled a couple of sentences in Japanese too quickly for Weiss to catch. She chuckled, cuddling up to her. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll catch myself up.”

Ruby tucked her head into Weiss’s shoulder. The older girl sighed and wrapped her arm around her.

They could take it slow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: alcohol, weed, and multiple references to Classical literature.

“A party?” Weiss shook her head. “A _party?_ In the middle of a pandemic? Yang, I thought you were smarter than-”

“It’s just gonna be the four of us,” Yang breathed. “Chill out, Ice Queen.”

“The four of us do not constitute a party, Xiao Long.”

“Sure it does.” Yang winked. “An apartment party, just the four of us. Is that an _aparty_ or an _apartmenty?”_

“You’re impossible,” Weiss grumbled. “What would we even do?”

“We’ve got drinks ‘n music,” Yang shrugged. “Finals were cancelled, we’re a week into quarantine, what else are we gonna do?”

“Finals were cancelled?!”

“Shit, you didn’t hear? Beacon didn’t want to deal with the whole online learning thing until next quarter, so they just cancelled-”

“Finals were cancelled,” Weiss breathed. “Finals were cancelled.”

“Don’t gotta say it twice,” Yang said. “Are you okay?”

"I’m fine,” Weiss said through gritted teeth, “I just don’t have an excuse to hide from your party anymore.”

“Aw, c’mon Weissicle.” Yang threw a burly arm around her shoulder. “You can chill out in your room if you want, but don’t you wanna dance with my little sister?”

“This feels like a trick question.”

Yang snorted. “It’s not.”

An awkward silence hung in the air. Slowly, Weiss worked her way out from underneath Yang’s arm. 

“So?” Yang raised her eyebrows.

“Fine.” Weiss relented. “But I’m not drinking anything. You know how I feel about alcohol, Xiao Long.”

Yang nodded. “Never said you had to.”

“I wasn't implying that you-”

“Look, I mean, I get it.” Yang put a hand on the back of her neck. “Besides, it’ll be nice to have somebody sober. I trust you.”

Weiss held an arm across her torso. It ruffled her plain white T-shirt. “I _am_ reliable. I can’t imagine why you’ll need me, though, unless you’re afraid you’ll break a doorframe with your beefy shoulders in a drunken shamble.”

“I’m sure you’ll have something to do.” Yang’s eyes twinkled. “Anyways, I’ve got an a-party-ment to set up, if you don’t mind.”

Weiss sighed. “You can pun better than that, I’m sure.” 

“Maybe!”

* * *

All things considered, Weiss admitted, the party seemed rather pleasant and well put-together. Not that she really knew how the sorts of parties Yang went to were supposed to go, but considering the buff blonde hadn’t gone shopping for party supplies beforehand, it was remarkable how she’d transformed the apartment’s living room into something straight out of the teen movies Weiss had snuck past her father as a kid.

She didn’t know where Yang had got the blacklights. Probably stored away in the closet she shared with Blake, but Weiss _did_ recognize the fog machine with a swell of pride. She’d given it to Yang as a show of goodwill when she’d first moved into the apartment, and was glad it was getting some good use, even if it was only for the four of them. Beyond that, Yang had set up every bottle of alcohol in the apartment--all three of them; an unopened bottle of kosher wine, some tequila, and a half-empty bottle of rum--on the kitchen counter, next to four glasses, one labeled _Weiss_ and full of water. Weiss was touched. Yang was thoughtful enough to include her, even if she wasn’t going to imbibe substances with the rest of them.

The music playing on the speakers was even at a reasonable volume. Weiss didn’t know whether this was out of concern for the neighbors or if it simply made it more convenient to talk without shouting over the background noise, but either way, she was thankful for it. Begrudgingly, Weis privately admitted that Yang could throw a good party.

She was debating whether or not to return to her room when Ruby, Yang, and Blake returned from the balcony, sliding the door shut behind them. Yang whooped, grinning, while Blake ducked her head, hiding her red-rimmed eyes. Ruby gave Weiss an eager wave over Yang’s head. No matter how short the time the two of them spent apart, Ruby was always excited to see Weiss again. It reminded her of a clingy puppy.

“Having fun?” Weiss asked, more out of politeness than anything else.

“Hell yeah.” Yang hit her with a pair of finger guns before turning to her sister. “Hey Rubes, do you wanna have anything to drink before you dance with your girlfriend?”

“I-”

“When did I say I’d dance?” Weiss crossed her arms.

“Um,” Ruby said. She bit her lip, and Weiss felt her heart soften.

“Not that I won’t dance under any circumstances, or anything,” Weiss said, “but don’t you go making assumptions, Xiao Long.”

Yang laughed. She elbowed Ruby in the side, as if to say _see, what’d I tell ya?_ and with her sister, made their way to the kitchen.

“I think I’ll pop open the wine, if that’s okay?” Ruby asked, giving Yang a sidelong look. 

“Absolutely not okay. Against the rules,” Yang smiled.

“Aww, okay,” Ruby said. She gave her sister a wink, giggled, and rummaged through the drawers for a corkscrew.

Weiss watched with mild interest from the couch, where she sat with her back straight and her legs crossed. As unladylike and, well, _lewd_ as she had been these past few days, Weiss refused to let it get to her. She was the sober one tonight, after all, and she would play her part perfectly. Absentmindedly, she noticed Yang had pushed the coffee table to the corner of the room to make space for dancing. She wondered if Yang had only used her one flesh-and-blood hand to lift it.

“Hey,” Blake said. She plopped herself down on the couch next to Weiss, the pleather creaking under her weight. It was barely audible underneath the hum of the fog machine and the music playing over the speakers.

“Hey yourself,” Weiss said. She cocked her head. “Would it be racist if I said ‘enjoy your catnip?’”

Blake giggled. The dopey expression on the normally stoic woman’s face was still unfamiliar to Weiss. “Probably.”

“Oh. My apologies.”

“You’re good.” Blake blinked. 

Weiss raised and lowered her hands, unsure of what to say. After sparing a glance back to the kitchen--Ruby held aloft her glass of red wine with her pinky extended, pretending she was fancy, while Yang poured herself some of the open rum. She looked back to Blake, cleared her throat, and finally spoke. “So, it’s the mellow kind tonight?”

Blake nodded. “Mhm. Indica.”

“So you’re not going to dance with Yang?”

“P’shaw,” Blake smiled, rolling her eyes. “She can carry me if I melt into the couch. ‘S not like I’m much of a dancer anyway.”

“Rubes, you sure you want a second glass?”

“It’s sweet! I can handle it!”

“I bet you like that,” Weiss said. She subdued the instinct to give mellowed-out, sleepy Blake a pat on the head. Only Yang got to do that. She turned the gesture into absentminded fiddling with a throw pillow. “Being carried around by her, that is.”

Blake shrugged. “Free hugs. Feeds the hippie in my soul.”

“It tastes just like grape juice!”

“Yeah, if the grapes were _fermented,_ Rubes.”

Briefly, Weiss wondered if she should have some of what Blake was smoking. She shifted her weight. The couch squeaked. “I think I should check on my girlfriend.”

“Wait.” Blake looked at her with a sober intensity in her red-rimmed eyes. “I… I forgot what I was about to say. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Weiss said, rising to her feet. Artificial fog swirled around her ankles.

“No, wait!” Blake’s ears perked up. “...Goddamnit, I just had it!”

Weiss snorted. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been smoking too much,” Blake grumbled. “I need to take a break, especially ‘cause of the increased risk of respiratory disease-“

“Did you remember what you were going to say?” Weiss asked politely. 

“Oh!” Blake flushed. Her ears folded flat against her head. “Um, you wanna wait until Ruby’s done drinking, right? I just got a bad vibe. Feel like she’d forget herself ‘n try to offer you some.”

“How are you still such a worrywart when you’re supposed to be mellow?”

“Rude.” Blake narrowed her eyes. ”Guess my tolerance really is going to shit, huh? Oughtta take a break.”

Weiss reached out a hand to pat Blake’s head before pulling it back at the last minute. “Er, thanks for looking out for me, anyways.”

“You can pat my head if you _really_ want to,” Blake drawled, rolling her eyes. “Jus’ be careful with my ears?”

“Which ears?” Weiss smirked, but seeing Blake’s perplexed face, she relented. “Sorry.” She gave Blake a pat on the head. Her hair was soft as midnight.

“Weissss!” Ruby cried out, glomping her girlfriend. 

“Ruby!” Weiss said, startled. She barely caught her footing. “You’re done drinking, then?”

“Hi, Weiss,” Ruby smiled.

“There’s no way you’re drunk yet.”

Ruby chuckled. “Okay, you got me, I just wanted to hold you. My, uh, what’s the word? It’s the thing where you, uh, thing, it’s, oh! My metabolism is fast, though, so I feel a little tingly in my fingers and toes. I think that’s normal?” She looked over her shoulder. “Yang, is that normal?”

Yang set down her cup of rum on the kitchen counter. “Normal knees, sis!” She hadn’t heard a word of what she’d said.

“Normal knees,” Ruby smiled. Her cheeks were round and red. Weiss couldn’t decide if she wanted to pinch them or kiss them. “Shall we dance, my lady?”

Weiss scoffed. “My, Ruby, such a gentlewoman. Tell me, are we to waltz or to foxtrot? I’ve never done either to _dubstep_ before, but-”

“This isn’t dubstep, silly!” Ruby giggled. “It’s EDM! The music of my people.”

Weiss knit her eyebrows.

“Uh, my people being trans gals,” Ruby elaborated. She scratched her nose. “And I think I can dance the robot? Penny’s really good at it, she taught me how!”

“You’re a dolt.”

Ruby fluttered her eyelashes. “I’m your dolt, though.”

“You’re my dolt.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “We can dance. Put your hands on my hips and we’ll sway back and forth, okay?”

“Okay!” Ruby chirped. The feeling of Ruby’s strong, warm hands on Weiss’s back sent a shock of electricity up her spine. “Ooh, Weiss, you’re cold!”

 _No,_ Weiss thought, blushing. _You make me hot._ “Maybe the booze just warmed you up,” she snarked.

“Wine isn’t booze, Weiss,” Ruby giggled. “Ooh, wine, Weiss, that’s fun to say.”

“I’m pretty sure wine’s booze,” Yang said, striding over to the couch. Her hair seemed to glow brighter gold beneath the blacklight. If Weiss looked carefully, she might have seen patterns glowing on her prosthetic hand as well, flames glowing in the blacklight that were invisible outside it. “Anything with alcohol’s booze, but it usually means hard liquor. Hey, Blake.”

“Hey, Yang.” Blake twisted a strand of glossy hair around her finger, that same dopey smile on her face.

“You sound practically encyclopedic.”

“That’s this gal’s fault,” Yang smiled, pointing at her girlfriend. “My bookish Blakey.”

Blake cocked her head. “I don’t read encyclopedias.”

Yang laughed, loud and earnest. “You’re hilarious, sweetheart.”

“Anyways.” Ruby cleared her throat, drawing Weiss’s attention back to her. Her eyes gleamed in the blacklight. “Slow dance with me?”

Weiss cocked her head. The upbeat, high-tempo music was an odd choice for a slow dance, and she had never known Ruby to be particularly interested in slow _anything_ in all the time she’d known her. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, rolling her eyes, “let’s do it.”

She certainly _felt_ ridiculous, pressed right up against Ruby in the middle of their living room. Every time Weiss had danced like this before, it had always been a formal affair. She’d been trussed up in fancy dresses and jewelry, closer to performance than any sort of revelry. She half expected to hear Yang let out a bark of laughter at the absurdity of the situation, for Weiss’s pitiful lack of fancy attire, but to her surprise, she quickly realized she didn’t care.

For one brief moment, Weiss wished she were in her heels, if only that she could rest her chin on Ruby’s shoulder, but once she tucked her head into Ruby’s chest, she realized that this was _so_ much better. She could feel the warmth radiating from Ruby’s skin behind her graphic tee against her cheek. Perhaps she _was_ cold, for Ruby seemed warmer than usual, but that may or may not have been the alcohol. She could hear Ruby’s heartbeat, too, sure and solid, pounding in step with the quick beat of the music.

“How’s the wine?” Weiss asked, conversationally.

“It’s sweet!” Ruby chirped. She gave Weiss a squeeze. “I’m not entirely convinced Yang didn’t give me grape juice instead, especially since I’m not really feeling anything yet.”

“I told ya, Kosher wine is just like that.” Yang, now seated beside Blake on the couch, stroked her girlfriend’s ears. The tendons in her arms flexed slightly with the movement of her fingers, casting odd shadows under the blacklight that accentuated her thick biceps. “You’ve had it before, don’t you remember?”

“I was _thirteen,_ Yang!” Ruby whined. Weiss couldn’t see her face, but she could feel Ruby’s pout. “And it was just a sip ‘cause that’s tradition.”

“So you like it?” Weiss asked, pulling herself closer to Ruby and immediately grabbing her attention. Weiss could feel Ruby’s faint abs against her torso. “The wine, I mean? I know you’re fond of your sweets.”

Ruby licked her lips. “It’s okay. I’ve heard they make strawberry wine, which I’d probably like better, but I’m kind of scared that if I ever tried it I’d love it too much and wind up like uncle Qrow, except instead of being grumpy I’d wind up sillier than usual all the time, and I don’t think we could handle that.” She took in a deep breath.

"I understand,” Weiss said. “That’s why I’d rather stay away from the stuff entirely.”

“You barely know Qrow, though. Ooh, triple-rhyme!”

Weiss chuckled. “You’re such a moron sometimes. It’s cute.”

Ruby squished her cheek against the top of Weiss’s head affectionately. “I’m still not really feeling it, though, so, um, if you’ll excuse me for a moment? I wanna try another glass.”

“You’re sure?” Weiss released her. 

Ruby smiled, but it slipped into a grimace. “This isn’t a trick question or anything, is it? I can never-”

“No.” Weiss wanted to roll her eyes with every fiber of her being. She managed not to--it would only confuse Ruby further. Social cues weren’t exactly her forté. “Go ahead. I love you.”

Ruby brightened, nearly blinding Weiss with the brilliance of her smile. She darted off towards the kitchen, a spring in her step, and Weiss couldn’t help but stare at the bubbly way she moved.

“What a dork,” Yang said.

“Indeed.”

“I was talking about you, Weissicle.”

“I-” Weiss spun on her heel, a finger raised to jab at Yang. “How dare-”

“Gottem,” Blake smirked. Weiss glared at her. _Betrayal!_

“You wanna dance too, Blakey?”

“‘M comfy.”

“I’ve got you, c’mon, up!” Yang rose, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she held Blake in one arm tucked underneath her legs, letting Blake lean against her broad shoulder. Despite Blake’s size and the way she curled into Yang like a liquid, the buff blonde seemed to have no trouble at all holding her up, even with one arm free. 

Yang smirked. “You want a lift too, Ice Queen? I caught you mirin’ earlier.” She flexed her free arm. The plastic of her prosthetic clicked, but despite this, the biceps of her right arm were just as well-defined as her left. She raised her eyebrows obnoxiously. “You’re way lighter and smaller than Blake, I could totally carry both of you at once.”

“I was _not_ ‘miring your arms.” Weiss stuck her nose in the air.

Blake let out a mumble which sounded almost like a roaring lion cub. “You trying to make me jealous, Xiao Long?”

“Oh no, you’ve caught me,” Yang chuckled, “that’s why I’m holding you so close, dear. It’s not like teasing Weiss is super easy or anything.” She nuzzled into Blake’s hair.

“You’re both ridiculous.”

“What I am is sleepy,” Blake said. “You mind dropping me off in our room?”

“The Yang-mobile’s right on it,” Yang grinned. “Don’t wait up for us, Weiss.”

“Wasn’t planning on--how would I even?” Weiss frowned, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Have fun, I’m glad you’re sober enough to take care of Ruby, bye!” The bedroom door closed with a _click,_ barely audible over the sound of the music. It took Weiss a couple moments before putting two and two together. Yang had _planned_ this. She’d expected to leave Weiss and Ruby to themselves, slipping away with Blake. Was this how parties were meant to be? Pairing off into couples in a haze? Weiss rolled her eyes. If Yang was any more Dionysian, she’d need to watch out for an after-party fight club.

So lost was she in her indignation that she almost didn’t notice Ruby return from the kitchen, her breath sickly sweet and a silly smile spread across her lips. 

“Your sister has the mentality of a smug anime girl meme, I swear,” Weiss grumbled. 

“It’s pronounced _meme_ , not _may-may_ , Weissy,” Ruby giggled.

“I’m going to kill your sister.” She’d never let Yang correct her pronunciation on anything ever again.

“Good luck, she’s ripped. Absolutely shredded.” Ruby’s eyes, more dull gray than silver by now, twinkled. “She’s just a flexing sunglasses emoji in my phone.”

“Fitting,” Weiss affirmed. She sat on the couch, crossing her legs. Ruby sat down next to her automatically, leaning on her shoulder. “What am I, if I might ask?”

“It’s just your name and a blue heart right now,” Ruby said. She bit her lip. “But it’s been a lot of things! Like, when we first met, it was a snowflake, and then it was a crown for a while. It suits you.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Weiss smiled. She laced her fingers with Ruby’s, enjoying the warmth of her skin against her own frigid extremities.

“Hope I didn’t let you down.” Ruby said. “Like, I don’t know if you were expecting me to say _peach emoji_ or something, ‘cause you totally deserve it.”

“What?” Weiss’s face burned.

Mercifully, Ruby was blushing too, but Weiss wasn’t entirely certain whether that was the alcohol or not. “I just mean that you’re super pretty and I’m really happy I get to look at you and be with you and… stuff,” Ruby finished, averting her eyes. “Sometimes it’s really hard to look at you while I’m talking to you in case I get distracted.”

Weiss opened and closed her mouth. She was used to being complimented on her looks. Her father had taken every opportunity to show her off at upscale parties he threw for his business associates. She’d played dress-up like a good doll, wearing extravagant dresses and jewelry and showing off the effects of expensive haircare and skincare products. Despite all her practice, she still felt herself woefully out of her depth.

“You just have the best, um, everything,” Ruby blustered, sensing an awkward silence. “Even your nose is cute, the Schnee schnoz, heh. It’s, um, it fits your face just right?” Her blush intensified. “God, I just mean you’re cute, okay?”

“You’re cute too, Ruby,” Weiss said gently, ignoring the heat rushing to her cheeks. She just needed a moment not to focus on herself. “I love your hair, its color and its style. You’re more than cute enough for me.”

“No way,” Ruby smiled, slurring her words a little bit. She rolled onto her back, resting her head in Weiss’s lap. “You’re not just cute, you’re really really pretty, and, um, I think you’re really hot.” Ruby blushed and swallowed audibly. “You have the figure of a goddess and I’d be jealous if I didn’t know just how much effort it takes for you.”

“I-” Weiss started, then choked on her own words. She could barely wrap her head around Ruby’s words. All her life she’d been complimented, but it had never felt like this before. She knew the feeling of being admired, but she’d never felt _desired_ before, not like this. She’d been wanted, perhaps, but not for who she was. She was a prize in fancy wrapping paper. Now, though, Weiss saw reflected in Ruby the same obscene desires that had occupied her mind throughout the quarantine, desires Ruby usually kept hidden, exposed with a hint of liquid courage. She wondered if Ruby wanted to touch her with those perfect fingers of hers, strong and dexterous and quick. She would let her, if she wanted. She said she liked her figure. She could touch it to her heart’s content, run her fingers around the curve of Weiss’s hips, the dip of her waist, even the sides of her upper thigh. She could almost feel it if she closed her eyes, the faint touch of Ruby’s fingers against her barely-covered skin, soft as a breath, treating her as gently as fine china. 

“You’re just,” Ruby sniffled, “so beautiful, y’know?”

“Ruby?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Ruby blinked away her tears. “I’m just in awe. You’re like an angel, you’re soft and sweet like strawberries and I love you a lot. Am I being weird? Please tell me I’m not being weird.”

“You’re not,” Weiss said. No weirder than normal.

“You could be an ancient Roman statue come to life,” Ruby said. “Whoever carved you out of white marble must’ve gotten the best stuff and spent so long carving you, you’re a masterpiece.”

“Dolt,” Weiss breathed, if only because she couldn’t quite figure out how to properly respond. She had to get control of the situation before she embarrassed herself. “I’m surprised to hear you referencing the tale of Pygmalion, particularly in this state.”

“What’s Pygmalion?”

Weiss opened her mouth. “Weren’t you discussing statues come to life? He's Greek, but-”

“Did you mean pith- pith-” Ruby swallowed. “Pythagoras? What does he have to do with carving? He’s the triangle guy. I guess you could use math while carving something, and you have an hourglass figure which is basically two triangles, so I guess that makes sense?”

“I can’t tell if you’ve had too much to drink or you’re really this uncultured.”

“You’re mean.” Ruby stuck her tongue out at Weiss and giggled. “It’s kind of hot. Wow, that’s embarrassing. I’m just gonna lay here?”

“Maybe we should get you to the bedroom,” Weiss mused. “Yang shouldn’t have let you drink that third glass.”

“I’m a grown woman, I can do what I want!”

“I know you are, Ruby.”

Nearly half an hour passed before Ruby finally relented to move to the bedroom after cycling through a series of emotions. She fawned over Weiss until she cried, shielding her eyes as she looked at her. She’d wound up giggling and booping Weiss’s nose on no less than three occasions, ruffled her hair, and clung onto her arm like a koala. It was grossly affectionate, even for Ruby, and her words didn’t do Weiss any favors. Her cheeks were as red as Ruby’s, but she lacked the excuse of alcohol. In the end, Weiss had finally convinced Ruby to go to bed and sleep the alcohol off, but was only able to get her off the couch when Ruby realized the natural outcome of drinking lots of fluids. For once, Weiss had a reason to be thankful for the diuretic side effects of Ruby’s medication. 

Despite it all, Weiss was still wound up and flustered as she lay cuddled up next to her softly snoring girlfriend in her small twin bed. She had been the big spoon before--mostly in the mornings, for obvious reasons--but she had never been this aware of Ruby’s body pressed against her own. She was shorter, used to the comforting feeling of being wrapped in Ruby’s arms, but there was something new and exciting about the way Ruby’s rear pushed against her hips. Ruby was hotter than normal, and that was not a double entendre, damn her filthy mind! Weiss could feel the warmth through Ruby’s sleep-shorts and her own leggings, and despite all the fabric between them, Weiss was still keenly aware of every curve on Ruby’s body. It was all she could do not to squeeze herself closer to her girlfriend. She felt a brief pang of sympathy for Ruby; if Weiss was situated with her particular anatomy, she would have been poking at her shamelessly. As it stood, her arousal was private, but no less shameful. 

Not even the cold shower she took could wash away the embarrassment in the pit of her stomach, but at the very least, it put Weiss into clean clothes and her own bed. A (not) small part of her wanted to climb back into bed with Ruby, run her hands over her girlfriend’s well-defined figure, feeling up every curve with care, the way Ruby had described earlier, but the thought alone sent another wave of guilt through her. Ruby was mildly drunk and asleep. Weiss had a hard enough time not feeling like a lusty lunatic even when Ruby was awake. Then again, Weiss remembered, she _was_ starting to make a habit out of thirsting over Ruby when the other girl didn’t expect it. She would have to get that under control. She could totally do that. 

It would only get easier the further they got into quarantine, right? She would grow used to the close quarters, the constant exposed skin, and the cute grunts Ruby made as she shifted in her sleep. No problem. Weiss was a grown woman, not a horny teenager. Mind over matter. She could do this.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise midweek update because I do what I want. My state is blanketed in smoke and my coping mechanisms are unavailable so I’m here to hunt that sweet sweet Validation, please give me a comment.
> 
> Anyways my fellow Americans please vote in November, Black lives matter, climate change is real, we’re dying on the west coast rn rip


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: minor consent misunderstanding.

It took only two weeks of quarantine before Weiss was convinced she was in hell. A most heavenly hell, to be sure, but a hell nonetheless. No matter what Weiss could do, she couldn’t escape Ruby, and even worse, she was beginning to doubt she even wanted to.

Everything about her seemed to turn Weiss on. She could barely manage to look Ruby in the eye without blushing, every untoward thought of the last fortnight rushing to the forefront of her mind. How could she hold a meaningful, mature conversation with her girlfriend when all she could think about was the softness of Ruby’s skin and just how much more of it Weiss had yet to see. Ruby was paler than her usual brown, a side effect of winter darkness and the quarantine, but Weiss couldn’t help but wonder if she had hidden tan lines, or if the skin of Ruby’s length was darker than the rest of her body. 

The thought of Ruby’s most intimate parts always left Weiss with conflicting feelings. She knew Ruby wasn’t particularly fond of her anatomy, and such organs had never enticed Weiss before, but despite this, Weiss couldn’t help but want to see her girlfriend bare and touch her where she was most sensitive. The image of Ruby’s face as she did so never failed to leave Weiss red, sweaty, and in need of a shower and fresh clothes.

Despite how _thirsty_ Weiss was, there was no doubt in her mind that she could have handled it if not for the quarantine. There was simply no escape from Ruby in the tiny apartment, even when Weiss was alone. The smell of roses followed her everywhere, tickling the back of her mind with thoughts of Ruby’s body pressed against her own, slick with sweat, the scent enveloping her until she, too, smelled like Ruby’s perfume. Was _claimed_. Not even the bathroom was safe. Every time Weiss took a shower, she had to force herself not to steal Ruby’s conditioner. No matter how many times she denied herself, the impulse to coat her naked body with it in carnal decadence never left her.

If this was to be her life now--that is, if she was doomed to spend the majority of her waking hours holding back her salacious sapphic urges--it was a miracle that by two weeks into quarantine, she and Ruby had still limited themselves to deep kissing when a Weiss with any less self-control would have graduated to anal by now.

Thank goodness she and Ruby were taking it slow. 

Part of it was just how grumpy she’d become. Weiss had always been a rather stressed-out woman, wound too tightly. She had the pressure of her father’s expectations and the public visibility that came with her status, and despite the relaxed freedom of quarantining with friends, Weiss was determined to keep up appearances. Unfortunately, Ruby, as always, faced the brunt of irritability, thanks to close quarters, but Weiss slowly began to realize there was more to it than that. She had snapped at Ruby plenty of times since the first day they roomed together, but before now, it had never been quite so clear to Weiss how much of it was sexual frustration taken out on the object of her affections. 

_Fucking Ruby,_ Weiss distinctly remembered thinking. _Stupid, sexy Ruby._

Given all the pressure building up, Weiss’s conscious mind had little choice in the matter the next time Ruby came to her and shyly asked if the two of them could kiss on her bed that night. She felt guilty over letting her base impulses rule her actions, but not enough to actually stop.

Stopping, as it turned out, was the last thing on Weiss’s mind. There was a dull pleasure in desire, an ache between her thighs that Weiss couldn’t get enough of. 

She had never given a hickey before. Never been exposed to the idea at all, in fact, but Weiss was all but gone, reduced to sweating, hungry animal instincts. Her instincts demanded she cover Ruby in kisses, wrap her lips around Ruby’s throat, taste her pulse with her tongue. Her instincts demanded she _bite,_ and she did _._

Ruby winced. The sharp intake of breath was the sweetest sound Weiss had heard in years. “Weiss,” she whined, writhing underneath her girlfriend, wrinkling the freshly changed bedspread. The fitted sheet had taken both of their combined effort to properly put onto the mattress, but neither seemed to care how much hard work they were undoing. 

Weiss didn’t grace Ruby with a response. Instead, she bit at the younger woman’s neck again and licked a line up to her ear. She nipped Ruby’s earlobe, earning herself another moan. Her conscious mind tucked the sound away for later. The bite, however, prompted a shudder from Ruby’s body. She tucked her head to her shoulder and rolled onto her side, flopping Weiss onto the bed.

“Hey there,” Ruby said weakly.

Weiss kissed her. Her lips were flush from kissing and wet with her own saliva. “Hey yourself.”

“I’m, uh, whew,” Ruby said, flushed to her forehead. “Where did you learn how to do that?”

“I didn’t.” Weiss kissed her again. “Want more?”

Ruby nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I just, um,” she faltered. She swung her legs off the edge of the bed, pulling herself into a sitting position. “Gotta catch my breath.”

Under normal circumstances, Weiss would have nodded and taken a moment herself. She would have run her hands through her hair, undoing knots and brushing away frizz. She would’ve centered herself. These, however, were not normal circumstances. These were unprecedented times, and Weiss was not entirely herself. So, seeing Ruby with her back turned to her, the gentle slope of her neck exposed, Weiss’s instincts said to pounce, and so she did.

She wrapped herself around the taller woman, slipping a pair of fingers into Ruby’s mouth and pressing a faux-chaste kiss against her jawline. Ruby’s shoulders tensed, but she made no move to push Weiss away, even as her other arm snaked across her chest to brush faintly across her ribcage. She shivered, melting into the faint, featherlike touch. 

“Weiss,” Ruby said, her voice little more than a desperate whisper.

“Ruby,” Weiss breathed. She swallowed and ran her tongue along the edge of Ruby’s ear, leaving it glistening with saliva, relishing the shiver it forced from Ruby’s body. Her hands gripped at the sheets.

Weiss swirled her fingers in Ruby’s mouth, savoring the heat of it as she toyed with Ruby’s tongue. Her mouth was so wet, nearly drooling, and it was all for her. She wanted to coat her fingers in Ruby’s spit and suck them clean. 

“Weiss,” Ruby whimpered, the pitch of her voice rising.

In a spur-of-the-moment decision, Weiss grabbed Ruby’s tongue and tugged at it, pulling it out to rest against her bottom lip. A thin line of saliva dripped from it, and Weiss felt her clit throb at the sight. 

“Huh? Wei- stop.”

“Why?” Weiss asked. She bit into Ruby’s earlobe, earning herself a squeal. “Do you not like it?”

“No, it’s just- I- _hah_ ,” Ruby breathed. Weiss could feel the heat radiating from her body. “Wanna…”

“Good girl,” Weiss whispered.

Ruby’s jaw dropped. The luminescent blush that had been threatening to envelop her face from ear to ear reached her shoulders and forced a keen from Ruby’s lips. 

“You like?” Weiss breathed. “Want more?” Her free arm trailed down Ruby’s torso, drawing nonsense shapes against her hips with the lightest of touches.

“Want-” Ruby swallowed, whining. 

“Tell me what you want.” The tips of her fingers slipped underneath Ruby’s white, rose-embellished pajamas.

“I want to stop!” Ruby said. She pulled away, rising to her feet, and gasped for breath. “I, ah, brain, overwhelmed. Overload.”

Weiss cocked her head. “But…” Slowly, gears started turning in her head again, instincts that were irresistible seconds ago retreating back into the shadows. “Shhh… Shit. Are you okay?”

Ruby let out a heavy breath and turned to face Weiss. Her face was still bright pink. “Y-yeah. Are you?”

“Are you sure?” Weiss bit her lip. “I- that was a lot, Ruby, I don’t know what came over me.”

“I’m fine,” Ruby assured her, sitting down beside her. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “I need to know you’re fine too, alright?”

“I’m not sure,” Weiss mumbled. “It’s stupid, _I’m_ stupid, since you’re the one who had to stop. I don’t… What’s happening to me?”

Tentatively, Ruby put a hand on her shoulder. She said nothing, but her smile was honest and free of malice. It calmed the tingle of adrenaline in Weiss’s fingertips.

“This has never happened to me before,” Weiss sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“You were really repressed growing up, weren’t you?” Ruby asked. Weiss glared, but Ruby’s expression remained soft. “You never got to be a horny teenager.”

“I had a… conservative upbringing, yes,” Weiss said. She wanted to dance around the issue, allude and make vague gestures, but she knew it was pointless. If she wasn’t blunt, Ruby wouldn’t get it. “I was raised with the assumption that I would not sully myself to the temptations of the flesh before a heterosexual marriage, and men never sparked my interest, so I was never…” She shook her head. “I never lost control of myself like this.”

Ruby nodded sagely.

“So you’re telling me you were this, er, _frisky_ growing up?”

“Um,” Ruby started. “Yeah? Testosterone’s a hell of a drug, y’know?”

“Right, right.” Weiss waved a hand dismissively. “I didn’t even know such things were possible. I assumed it was exaggeration, and it probably was.” She laughed nervously. “But in quarantine, I…”

Ruby cocked her head. 

Weiss groaned inwardly. Of _course_ she would have to use her words. Why couldn’t Ruby just get the hint? If she was going to humiliate herself, she might as well go all the way. “You turn me on, Ruby.” There. She’d said it, and she’d only cringed a little. 

Ruby blushed. “You’re really suffering, aren’t you?”

“Obviously,” Weiss huffed.

“Have you, um, been taking care of yourself?”

“Of course I have,” Weiss snapped, “I’ve been practicing self-care to the best of my ability, sticking to my schedule, and that’s… not what you meant, is it?”

“No.” Ruby stared at the floor. “No, it is not.”

“I-” Weiss choked on her words. “I _can’t!_ It’s- okay, I know it’s not _wrong_ or anything, but I- you know, I was raised conservatively, so every time I tried to… explore myself in that way, I felt so guilty, so I’ve never exactly successfully managed to…” Weiss’s face burned. “...Masturbate.”

“Never?” Ruby’s silver eyes were wide. “Holy shit, Weiss.”

“Oh, what’s it to you?” Weiss snapped. 

Ruby let out a nervous laugh, slowly relaxing. “Fuck, that explains a lot! You’re super pent up, no wonder you’re so tense.”

“Hmph,” Weiss grumbled.

Ruby spoke quickly, her face pinkening. “Weissy, you need to get yourself off before you get suuuper sexually frustrated.”

“Ruby-!”

“I’m sorry!” Ruby ducked her head. “Just, wow, Weiss. You’re twenty-two and you’ve never jacked off.”

“I have!” Weiss crossed her arms. Her face burned. “I mean, I’ve _tried_ , but it’s not like bodies come with instruction manuals!”

Ruby chuckled. “Man, I wish.”

“But- ah! Our apartment is tiny,” Weiss spluttered. “How am I going to get a chance to…” She left the words unsaid. She’d thoroughly embarrassed herself already. If Ruby couldn’t put two and two together this time, that was on her.

Ruby bit her lip. “Do you, uh, want me to leave the room, or…?”

“Right now?” Weiss’s voice cracked. She was already blushing, but Ruby’s words pushed her over the edge. She was bright red to the tips of her shoulders, as if she’d ran a marathon. “That’s not what I-”

“It’s fine!” Ruby said, a little too quickly. “There’s always the shower, or, when I’m asleep, or some other time when you just have privacy without having to tell me what’s going on-”

“You don’t want to watch?” Weiss blurted. She didn’t know where the words came from, but found they didn’t humiliate her quite as much as she thought they would. To be fair, it wasn’t like she could get any more embarrassed. “Er, I mean, couldn’t you show me what to do?”

Ruby blinked. It took a second for her brain to catch up. “Hu-wha?”

“You’re more experienced than I am, so, you know, I just figured…” Weiss trailed off. “Your body doesn't work like mine, does it?”

“I don’t think so,” Ruby said. Her voice was squeaky, as if her windpipe was squeezed shut. “For me it’s just like trying to get the last bit of shampoo out of a bottle, but it’s way in there, so you gotta shake it and then when the shampoo finally comes out it’s like, um, I’m gonna shut up now.”

“Ruby! You’re not allowed to be more embarrassed than I am right now!”

“Can’t help it!”

“We’re both idiots,” Weiss groaned. “Tell you what; I’ll… I’ll deal with myself and I’ll tell you how it goes?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ruby’s laugh was forced. “I don’t think I can handle any more of this. Can we, um, can we talk about something else?”

Weiss let out a breath of relief. “Please.” She rose to her feet. “We could go brush our teeth together, unless the sight of that would ruin you.”

_“Weiss!”_

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for your kind comments on the last chapter. The smoke has lifted, and I'm finally able to open my window and look at the sunset on the hills again, so don't any of you go worrying about me. See you all next week, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another surprise midweek update because I have no self control. Don't get used to it.
> 
> Chapter warning: alright, here’s where the warnings start getting a little spoiler-y. Warnings for masturbation, being walked in on, weed, and dangerous driving.

Four days later and Weiss hated herself for several new reasons.

She had always considered herself strong-willed. She had immaculate self-control, or, at least, she _had,_ before Ruby came into her life. The girl had a way of getting past her walls. Ruby kept her on her toes, always found some way to get a reaction out of her, no matter how hard Weiss tried to mask her emotions. If it were anyone else, Weiss was confident she could remain cool and collected, keep up her persona of a cold young woman, but with Ruby, she couldn’t manage it. Was it any wonder, then, that Ruby’s presence stirred her newly-awakened libido into such a frenzy? 

This was her life now. Weiss Schnee, pervert extraordinaire. 

On an intellectual level, Weiss knew she wasn’t exactly a deviant. Her feelings and behavior were perfectly natural, not even particularly out of the ordinary. Healthy, even. She had a lifetime of repressed sexual urges to make up, after all. It made sense.

Not that her reasoning made her feel any less debauched. The first time she worked up the courage to explore her body, Ruby had been softly snoring across the room, her headphones slipping off her head. Weiss had been nervous, afraid that by poking around “down there” she would wind up breaking something or hurting herself, so she’d tried to focus on Ruby’s breathing to steady herself. Afterward, when she was washing her hands for the third time, she still couldn’t look her reflection in the eye. What kind of person was she, touching herself to the sight of her innocently sleeping girlfriend?

And that was only the beginning. If changing her schedule to accommodate her libido wasn’t the mark of perversion, Weiss wasn’t sure what was. She started doubling up on daily showers, partly for the privacy it offered, but mostly to try and scrub the skeezy feeling away. How could she, though, when she was alone and nude with nothing but mental images of Ruby for company?

Even more than for her behavior, Weiss loathed herself for her fantasies. In her youth, whenever she had daydreamed about her future partner, it was always wholesome. She pictured domesticity with a faceless, well-to-do man who would hug her from behind and kiss her cheek. Now, whenever her hormones demanded her attention, she couldn’t keep her mind off Ruby if she tried, and while she usually imagined vanilla, missionary-position sex, it was so far removed from her usual thoughts that it made her feel like the kinkiest woman alive. 

Most often, as she fell into her rhythm, Weiss would pretend it was Ruby’s fingers slipping inside of her instead of her own, Ruby’s fingers circling and teasing her clit. Afterward, she found herself wondering what Ruby would think of her if she knew what was going on inside her head, all the images of Ruby doing unspeakable things to her. She’d probably blush, filled with anxiety at living up to Weiss’s fantasies, unnerved at just how corrupt and freakish her girlfriend was. Most of all, Weiss worried Ruby would try to hide her feelings. She was stupidly eager to please and willing to put others’ needs before her own. Weiss doubted she could sleep at night if Ruby forced herself into an uncomfortable situation for her sake.

None of this stopped her from fantasizing, of course. She was quickly becoming addicted to the endorphin rush of orgasm, guilt and shame be damned, and nothing got her there faster than thinking of her girlfriend. 

Weiss sang a halfhearted rendition of _Mirror Mirror_ in her second shower of the day. She was used to singing in the shower--she knew she had an excellent voice, and there wasn’t much else to do to entertain herself as she washed her hair--but this time around, it was more to cover up any embarrassing sounds that could escape her lips. If she moaned during her ministrations, she could explain it away on a wrong note, that she wasn’t doing her best, which was true. She wasn’t paying attention to the words. She was lost in her head.

The Ruby of her fantasies made Weiss weak in the knees. She’d swapped out her usual corset for one made of leather, hugging her waist and emphasizing the flare of her hips, but the rest of her body was kept bare, and fantasy-Ruby was cocksure enough not to cover herself in embarrassment. Instead, she stood proudly, the corset forcing her posture to perfection, further emphasizing her breasts.

That goddamn pair of tits. Weiss wanted to scream. She’d spent more time than she was willing to admit imagining the way it would feel to touch Ruby’s bare chest, to feel the soft skin and heft of them. She wondered what color Ruby’s nipples were. Certainly not as pink as her own. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t get the fantasy quite right, and it only made her more desperate for the real thing.

Not that she was terribly concerned with Ruby’s breasts in this particular fantasy. Sure, she was imagining the way they would feel squished against her back, as if Ruby were standing behind her, if it were her fingers rubbing circles around her swollen clit. Weiss groaned from the back of her throat at the thought, wishing it were real, that she could lean into Ruby, suck the fingers of one hand as the other slipped inside her, feel Ruby at both ends. Her body was too hot. Even if the shower water were frigid, Weiss was certain the mirror would still be fogged up from her body heat alone.

 _Say my name, Princess,_ fantasy-Ruby whispered in her ear, prompting a full-body shudder. Even in the warmth of the shower, with the way her body felt like it was on fire spreading from her dripping core, Weiss couldn’t hold it back. She felt like _such_ a pervert, thinking of her girlfriend like this, touching herself when Ruby was only a couple rooms away. Wouldn’t it be more chivalrous just to call Ruby in, to make it real? It would make Weiss feel like less of a voyeuristic pervert, at the very least, even if it made her seem like some sort of nymphomaniac instead.

Weiss shook the thoughts from her head, her wet hair smacking against her back. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to immerse herself back into her fantasy. Ruby, behind her, fingers in her mouth, fingers in her core, Weiss’s back pressed against Ruby’s tits, squirming in her grip. She curled her fingers inside herself, a high-pitched squeak sneaking its way out of her mouth, and she bit down on her fingers. It was too much, and yet it wasn’t enough. No matter how intense her fantasies grew, they were still mere fantasies.

Of course, she wasn’t done yet. Weiss Schnee was only warming up. If she was going to play the part of a pervert, imagining all sorts of lewd things she could do with her girlfriend, she was not going to do it half-assed. She was a Schnee, and Schnees go all-in. 

Weiss imagined the softness of Ruby’s breasts against her back, the rough texture of the leather corset, and, lower down, the unmistakable hardness pressed tight against her ass. The Ruby in her fantasy grinded her hips against hers, chuckling at the surprised, innocent gasp that escaped Weiss’s lips, crooking her fingers again to rub at the sweet spot that had Weiss seeing stars.

 _I’m gonna put it in you, okay, Princess?_ Fantasy-Ruby murmured. It was a question, but with the way she said it, it felt like an order. The image came to Weiss all too easily; bending over in the shower, whining as the water hit her back where Ruby’s tits had massaged her, but fantasy-Ruby only laughed. She moved her hands, squeezing Weiss’s hips, holding her right where she wanted her, two fingers brushing against Weiss’s slit.

With a whine, Weiss snaked a hand down to spread herself open, all too eager to give her girlfriend easy access to her body. She wanted this. _Needed_ this. Her cheeks burned with shame. She felt so exposed, even in fantasy, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Ruby, on the other hand, was shameless, a dark smirk across her lips as she gripped at Weiss’s ass, helped her spread herself open. 

She was getting close and she knew it. The feeling was still unfamiliar, heat rippling through her stomach, lightning climbing up her legs, but Weiss craved it more than she could say. Her clit throbbed with need. Inexperienced as she still was, Weiss pawed at herself desperately, grinding against the meat of her palm as hard as she could, fantasy-Ruby right behind her, the tip of her cock dripping with precum as she traced her fingers around Weiss’s pussy, teasing her with what was soon to come. Weiss was going cum, and she hadn’t even made it to the good part of her fantasy yet. She was dripping wet, desperate, so _ready_ for Ruby that she could hardly stand it. She pressed harder against her clit, moaning from the back of her throat, desperately seeking her orgasm. She was so _close,_ all she had to do was-

Three sharp knocks rang out against the wooden bathroom door and Weiss nearly fell over with a squawk. She barely managed to catch her balance, but not without four or five of Yang’s hair care products tumbling noisily to the shower floor.

“You gonna leave any hot water for the rest of us?” Yang called through the door. “Some of us have to wash off the sweat from lifting, and by ‘some of us’ I mean Blake.”

“J-just a minute!”

“I’m kidding, it’s obviously me.”

“I know!” Weiss shouted back. Her voice was shrill and weak. “I just need a moment, I need to finish, uh, finish washing up!”

“No worries,” Yang said. 

Even over the sound of the shower, Weiss was able to make out the sounds of heavy footsteps walking away. Weiss let out a sigh of relief. She reached for her clit again, but was only met with an uncomfortable awareness of how wrinkled the pads of her fingers had become. She let out a groan and turned off the water. 

Wrapping her body in a towel and her hair in another, Weiss permitted herself a moment of childish indignation. Yang spoiled everything. She was _so_ close and then Yang just _had_ to bang on the door at just the wrong time. If Yang made the same mistake when she was getting intimate with Ruby for _real,_ Weiss would fucking _scream._

Of course, now she had another problem. 

It hadn’t been a problem for the vast majority of the time she’d roomed with Ruby. After showering, she would just walk back to her room and slip into whatever clothes she felt like. Ruby had been awkward about it at first, but Weiss had chalked it up to the various incongruities between their bodies. In any case, it wasn’t even usually an issue, but in quarantine, where else would Ruby be but in their shared bedroom?

Worst of all, Weiss couldn’t make up her mind of if she wanted Ruby to see her naked or if she needed to beg her girlfriend not to take her eyes off her computer screen while she got dressed. 

In the end, it wasn’t worth the amount of thought Weiss put into it. Ruby was in the middle of a game of XCOM with Jaune, and with her headphones on, didn’t notice Weiss slip into the room and out of her towels. At least she seemed to be destroying the older boy, Weiss noted with a little pride, judging by Ruby’s good-natured, yet undeniably savage trash talk. 

Weiss knew Ruby and Jaune were close, and she never wanted to come between that. They’d met at a trans support group and had quickly become fast friends, bonding over their shared love of medieval weaponry and video games, as well as the troubles that came with not being cis. Despite this, Weiss had never quite clicked with the man, mostly due to his inept attempts at flirting with her. Privately, Weiss wondered if at the time she’d also been afraid Ruby would fall for him instead of her, not that she’d ever tell Ruby that. Weiss didn’t even know she was a lesbian back then… Ruby just brought out that side of her, even when she was in denial.

Smiling to herself, Weiss pulled a T-shirt over her shoulders and slipped into her comfiest leggings. Grabbing a pencil and her journal, she made her way to the living room, leaving Ruby to her game.

* * *

In the small living room of the RWBY apartment, Yang groaned. “Is it just me? Am I the only one who can’t be productive worth half a crap?”

“Of course,” Weiss snarked, “it’s not like the whole world is in crisis, or anything.”

“Rude.” Yang stretched on the couch, the plastic of her prosthetic hand clicking into place. 

“Have you even seen your sister lately? She’s been bouncing off the walls. Has Ruby been able to sit still and focus on her work at all?”

“You’re the one sharing a room with my baby sister, you tell me.”

“Our apartment has three rooms, Yang.”

“Don’t sell us short, Weissicle,” Yang chuckled. “We have a bathroom.”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “Four rooms, then. That’s not exactly an improvement.”

“Is too! One room for each of us.” Yang flashed her a too-wide smile. “Thank god for it, too. ‘S great to get out of the bedroom when Blake’s tokin’ it up.”

“Did somebody say my name?” 

“Blakey-cakes!” Yang threw her arms wide open, laying back on the couch lengthwise. Blake wasted no time, rolling over the back of the couch to flop like liquid onto her girlfriend. Her ears flicked backwards, flat against her head. “You doin’ okay, babe?”

“Ugh,” Blake muttered.

Weiss fidgeted on the old armchair. It creaked. “You two want the living room to yourself, or-”

“I’m fine,” Blake growled, muffled by the curve of Yang’s neck. “Just grumpy.”

“What’s the word for when you stop smokin’? It’s on the tip of my tongue, I just can’t-”

“Withdrawal?” Weiss asked.

“Yeah, that.”

“Maybe I should just let it ravage my lungs,” Blake said, “can’t be worse than being sober.”

“Jesus Christ, Blake.”

“Don’t catch the ‘rona,” Yang said. Weiss couldn’t help but admire just how gentle her voice could get, especially compared to her normal boisterous confidence. There was a gentleness in Yang usually only reserved for Ruby, but she treated Blake as delicately as an ancient clay pot. There was _reverence_ there, Weiss realized. That was the difference.

“There’s only so many times I can reread some shitty fic until I need to fry my brain and feel something beyond apathy.”

“You’ve been unproductive too, I see,” Weiss said. 

One of Blake’s cat ears rose up on her head, pointing back at her. “You better not be following me on AO3 again, Weiss, because if I see your username in my kudos again I’m going to die of embarrassment.”

“Wh- no! I mean it’s evident that you haven’t been writing lately.”

“I suppose so.”

“I don’t think any of us’ve been,” Yang mused. “‘Cept Weiss, of course. Leave it to her to keep her work ethic up during a global pandemic.”

Weiss rubs at her eyes. “Just because I’m productive doesn’t mean it’s not soul-numbing.”

“Implying you have a soul.”

“Blake!”

“I kid,” Blake deadpanned. “Mostly. Business Major.”

“Screw you,” Weiss said, but there was no real venom in her words. She dropped her head back, staring at the ceiling. “Once I inherit Father’s business I’m going to-”

“You’re gonna pay a living wage to all your employees, fund progressive politicians with his dirty money, and actually pay your taxes, I know,” Blake said. “We’ve had this conversation a million times, quit waving your dick around.”

“I-!”

“I used the corruption to destroy the corruption!” Yang snickered, using a faux-deep voice. “Fix the system from inside, short stuff!”

“I despise the both of you.” Weiss crossed her arms.

“What’re you even doing out here, anyways? You have your own room.”

“Ruby’s gaming.” When it becomes apparent that Weiss needed to elaborate, she did so. “My presence is a distraction.”

Blake snickers. “Girl’s only got enough blood to run one head at a t-”

“Blake!”

“That’s my sister you’re talkin’ about there, bub.” Yang’s tone was light, but Weiss couldn’t mistake the hint of a growl mixed into Yang’s vocal fry.

“You rubbed off on me,” Blake said, and she’s not wrong. “Remember when she had a crush on me, back when she was still in high school? How she always used to fiddle with her frilly skirts and- ow!” Blake pulled away, rubbing at her nose. “You didn’t need to flick me.”

“Pretty sure I did.”

“God, I need more weed,” Blake grumbled. “If I had some goddamn edibles I wouldn’t need to-”

“I could go pick some up,” Weiss offered, knowing she would be turned down. It wasn’t as if she knew her way around a weed dispensary anyways. 

“They’re doing online orders now,” Blake shrugged. “I’ll pay if you’re willing to brave the outside world. My mask’s dirty anyways.”

 _“Yeah_ it is,” Yang said.

“I don’t know what you’re implying, but it’s stupid.”

Yang grinned.

Weiss faltered. She hadn’t expected this, but the appeal of venturing outdoors was far from lost on her. Never before had she missed slathering her body in sunscreen to protect her fair skin from burning on a cloudy day, but after little more than a week in quarantine, Weiss would have happily suffered sunburns just to feel the heavenly warmth on her skin. “Am I to go alone, then? No one to guide me through the proper etiquette of purchasing marijuana?”

“I’d drive you,” Yang said, “but I bet you’d drop the weed off Bumblebee. Uncool.”

“I’ll have Ruby drive me, then. I’m certain she’s sick of being cooped up indoors.”

“She’s too young to go into the shop, Weissicle,” Yang said, “and if you expose my baby sister to the ‘rona I’m gonna have to kick your-”

“She’s _twenty,_ Yang,” Weiss huffed. “She can go outside if she wants to.”

“I can wait in the car anyways.”

“Yeah, she can-” Weiss whirled around in her seat, her hair slapping her in the face. “Wh- Ruby!? Weren’t you playing with Jaune?”

“I won,” Ruby said. She tugged at the drawstrings of her hoodie and puffed out her chest. “I mean, I was kinda bored the whole time? Like, no shade, I love Jaune, but I don’t think it’s a fair fight. I was doodling in my sketchbook when he took his turn, and I just got, like, too bored to keep sketching another basic car engine over and over for class-”

“Weren’t finals cancelled? Why were you doing anything for your engineering class?”

“Gotta stay sharp.” Ruby winked. 

“You’re valid,” Yang said. “Bet you just wanted to draw some kickass gunswords ‘n shit, right?”

Ruby’s cheeks pinkened. She cleared her throat. “Anyways, what’s this about going outside and me waiting in the car?”

“It’s nothing,” Blake grumbled.

“Might make a quick run to the dispensary for Blake,” Weiss said. “And, as you well know, because I’m a useless gay incapable of driving, I’ll need a beautiful chauffeur with lovely silver eyes.”

“They’re just gray,” Ruby said under her breath, but she knew better than to press the issue.

“While you’re out, you wanna pick up some munchies too?” Yang waggled an eyebrow. “Maybe swing by the grocery store, grab some chips, some booze, all that jazz?”

“You’re impossible.” Weiss rolled her eyes.

“I’m down,” Ruby said, “gives me an excuse to get out of the car.”

“Not really,” Weiss said, shifting in her seat, “you’re a year shy of buying alcohol yet, darling, so if we go through the check-out line together and you get carded, we could get into-”

“C’mon, Weiss, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take her somewhere she’s gonna start climbing the walls,” Yang warned. “If push comes to shove, you can always put the booze back or hide it in your shorts or someth-”

“Okay! We’ll hit up the grocery store, okay?” Weiss sighed. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I should know that word,” Blake muttered into Yang’s chest. “If I didn’t smoke so much weed like a fucking junkie, I’d-”

“What’s the point of taking a break if you’re just gonna beat yourself up about it, Blake?” Ruby asked. “I’m serious. Not to be real on main, but you’re gonna talk yourself back into a bad place-”

“I’m fine, Ruby,” Blake said. “Just a little hyperbole.”

“Don’t be mean to yourself like that, okay? We all know you’re better than that. Just ‘cause there’s a pandemic going on doesn’t mean you can go back to being super depressed and expect everyone to go along with it like it’s normal and-”

“Fine, fine,” Blake said, tucking her face into her own shoulder as she curled up on Yang. “You win, group therapist, provided you work on your own issues too.”

Ruby’s smile was genuine, gleaming with happiness. “C’mon, that’s what friends are for, right?”

“Anyways, I placed an order on my phone,” Blake said. “You know where the weed shop is?”

“I drive past it on my way to get my hormones, no biggie,” Ruby said. She spun her car keys on her index finger as she grabbed her mask off the apartment’s sole table. “You ready to go, Weissy?”

“Toss me my mask?”

Ruby did. The fabric felt tight against her face, pushing the pointed tip of her nose down. Weiss wrinkled her nose, trying to get the mask to fit more comfortably, but when Ruby started laughing at her, all she could do was roll her eyes and move for the door.

“Keep your eyes on the road, Rubes!” Yang called out as Weiss slipped her shoes on. “No getting distracted!”

Blake pouted. “How come you’re allowed to make jokes about Ruby’s lovestruck idiocy but I’m not?”

“Let’s go,” Weiss said, opening the door. Ruby took her by the arm, chivalrous as always, and Weiss couldn’t help but smile.

“She’s my sister,” Yang said, ruffling Blake’s hair a little more roughly than necessary. “Besides, you’re the one who had to make it about my sister’s _di-”_

The door clicked shut behind them. “Well,” Weiss says, taking a breath of fresh air, “to the dispensary?”

Ruby smiled behind her mask. “Weed mission go!”

* * *

The roads were clear, and Ruby was just fine with that. Nothing ticked her off more quickly than being stuck behind a slow-moving car when all she wanted to do was rev the engine and go as fast as she could. As it turned out, with most everyone staying inside, there wasn’t exactly much in the way of traffic. 

Not that Weiss was paying much attention to the road. As anxious as Ruby’s driving usually made her, all she could focus on was Ruby’s legs. She was only wearing little athletic shorts, the kind with tiny slits on either side to allow for more freedom of movement, and whenever Weiss tried to look away, her eyes were drawn back to those damnable slits again and again. The pale skin of Ruby’s upper thigh held her attention better than every sort of media she’d tried to focus on in quarantine by a fair margin. She wanted to lick it.

Worst of all, though, was that Ruby didn’t notice her. As reckless as her driving was, legally speaking, Ruby wasn’t distracted at all. She had both hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road, humming a tune to herself, completely unaware of Weiss’s hungry gaze. 

Somehow, Weiss managed not to make a fool of herself. She didn’t even stutter when she walked into the dispensary, asking to pick up an order for one Blake Belladonna. She didn’t fumble with her ID or drop it on the ground. Before she knew it, she was back in the car, a box of candies tucked under her arm. If she was lucky, Blake would keep them safe. The last thing Weiss wanted was to deal with Ruby getting stoned after eating the wrong sugary treats.

The grocery store run, too, was unremarkable, but somehow, Weiss couldn’t keep herself from smiling the entire time. Ruby dashed from aisle to aisle, the pointy-toothed Grimm smile on her mask as wide as the grin hidden beneath it, and it warmed Weiss’s heart. Ruby had really needed this, hadn’t she?

Of course, Weiss wasn’t about to pass up the chance to watch Ruby run in those short shorts of hers, even as she hated herself for it. What difference was there, right now, between herself and anyone else staring at Ruby’s bare legs? Would the essential employee working the register, stuck in a shitty situation, amuse himself by fantasizing about the sorts of things he’d like to do to her?

A surge of jealousy shot through Weiss. Only _she_ was allowed to lewd Ruby Rose in the privacy of her own mind!

Of course, there was always the chance that Weiss was a giant pervert. She took a deep breath through her mask. The employee wasn’t going to undress Ruby with his eyes. Odds were he wasn’t as depraved as she was.

It wasn’t until the drive back to the apartment that Weiss finally broke. Perhaps the guilt of staring at Ruby finally grew too much to bear. Perhaps it was the ease of sitting beside her in the car as she drove, able to talk without making eye contact. Perhaps she just couldn’t control herself anymore.

“Can I touch your legs?”

“Huh?”

Weiss’s face burned. Thank God Ruby didn’t take her eyes off the road. “May I please touch your legs?”

“If you really wanna,” Ruby said. Her voice was casual, but Weiss could sense a hint of nervousness in it. “You like my legs?”

Weiss swallowed. It was humiliating, exposing her feelings like this, but if it made Ruby show off her legs a little more often, it was worth it. “I do.” She reached out tentatively, her hand stopping an inch above Ruby’s thigh. 

“You okay there, Weissy?”

Weiss scoffed. “Keep your eyes on the road, Ruby Rose.”

“More like Ruby _Roads,_ am I right?”

“If I wanted puns, I would’ve dated your sister,” Weiss quipped, and set her hand on Ruby’s thigh. It was warm beneath her cold skin, and soft. Weiss felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. 

Tires screeched. Weiss was flung back into her seat as Ruby careened around a corner.

“Ruby!”

“I’m sorry!” Ruby whined. Her face was flushed. “I, uh, didn’t expect that to feel so nice. You have soft hands.”

Weiss sighed. “At least you kept your eyes on the road. More than I can say.”

“There’s a reason you’re not driving,” Ruby breathed. Weiss nodded. As much as she loathed public self-deprecation, there was nothing she hated more than Ruby’s discomfort, and humor helped like nothing else.

“So.” Weiss bit her lip. “May I-”

“Not while I’m driving.”

“That’s not what I was going to say.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “May I have your forgiveness? I shouldn’t have let my desires get ahold of me like that.”

“You’re good,” Ruby chirped. “If anything, wouldn’t it be _my_ desires causing trouble? I mean, ‘cause I’m the one driving, ‘n all. All you did was touch my leg.”

“Um…”

“Unless…” Gears turned slowly in Ruby’s head. “You did more than touch my leg?”

Weiss looked out the passenger window, if only to hide her blushing face. She wanted to shut the conversation down before it began, but in her heart, she knew she wouldn’t get a better chance. Ruby deserved to know, and at least this way Weiss didn’t have to worry about meeting her girlfriend’s eyes as she told her all the shameful things she’d done while thinking about her. “I’ve been… I’ve been _thinking_ about you quite a bit, if you catch my meaning.”

Ruby was silent for a moment. “You’re not a pervert, Weiss. That’s perfectly normal.”

“Do you also, er, think about me? When you…?”

Ruby coughed. It was clearly fake. “To be honest, it makes me feel kind of creepy.”

“Oh thank God, me too,” Weiss said. She let out a puff of air, a weight lifted from her shoulders. “I mean, this is all rather new to me, and I wasn’t sure if I was behaving properly or disrespecting you by envisioning such debauchery-”

“It’s a little different for me, Weiss,” Ruby said. “I like that you think I’m sexy, though. Score!”

“Can’t the feeling be mutual? Don’t you think I’d enjoy knowing you think I’m-”

“It’s a trans thing, Weiss,” Ruby said bluntly. 

Weiss opened her mouth and closed it without a word. “...Oh.” 

“I, uh, it makes me feel creepy, the way my body is. I just try to get it over with as quickly as possible.” Even without seeing her face, Weiss could hear the flustered shame in Ruby’s voice.

She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “Isn’t that a double standard, Ruby? We’re both women.”

“I, uh,” Ruby fumbled. “You really don’t think it’s weird?”

“I, personally, think it’s weird for _both_ of us.” Weiss rolled her eyes, holding her voice steady. “But at least it’s not a double standard. Besides, it’s just how I was raised.”

“That’s fair.” Ruby pulled into a parking spot, startling Weiss. She hadn’t realized they were home. “You wanna help me carry the groceries up six flights of stairs?”

“We’re taking the elevator, Ruby.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “We have a delivery for a Miss Belladonna, and I’m _not_ giving her the weed she ordered while red-faced, sweaty, and out of breath.”

Ruby giggled. “Weiss, take a look at the two of us. We’re already blushing and sweaty. Don’t you want an excuse that isn’t super embarrassing?”

Weiss groaned. “You’re not going to convince me to take the stairs with you. I’ll straighten up in the elevator.”

“You’re too gay to straighten up, Weissy.”

Weiss facepalmed. She checked herself in the rearview mirror, straightened her collar, and wiped her brow. “That joke was funny the first time, but not the fiftieth.”

“Aw, you know you love it,” Ruby chuckled. She turned off the car, spinning the keys around her finger. They slipped off, and Ruby scrambled to grab them. “But you win. Elevator?”

“Just a moment.” Weiss, judging her appearance to be presentable, turned to Ruby. She pulled the drawstring from her hoodie so that it wasn’t tucked into the hood, straightened Ruby’s sleeves, and brushed the lint from her shoulders. “There.”

Ruby beamed, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. “Thanks, Weiss!”

Weiss stammered.

Ruby giggled. She even did that infuriating _thing_ where she covered her mouth with her hand. That was Weiss’s thing! _She_ did that!

“You dolt!” Weiss squeaked. Her face was bright pink. “Now I have to fix myself up again!”

“Somehow I don’t think that’s much of a problem,” Ruby smirked. Weiss wanted to kiss that insufferable expression right off her face right then and there.

But that could wait. Quarantine wasn’t ending anytime soon, and the two of them had a tiny apartment to get back to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta be honest, this was my favorite chapter to write. I've written about half the fic so far, and I'm just gonna keep cockblocking Weiss even harder from now on. ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! I live for comments, so tell me which of the three scenes in this chapter was your favorite!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings contain spoilers: angst, more finger sucking, tiddies, body image reassurance, gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, references to blow jobs and PiV sex.

“You okay, Weissy?”

“Hmph.”

Ruby raised a hand to place gently on her girlfriend’s shoulder, but thought better of it at the last minute. As much as she loved Weiss, it wasn’t the easiest thing to be stuck with her 24/7, especially when she was grumpy. 

Two days had passed since their excursion to the dispensary. In that time, Ruby found herself recognizing things she previously had not: Weiss’s long shower breaks, the restless way she tossed and turned before bed, her renewed focus on keeping up with the laundry, and, most of all, the way she looked at Ruby when she thought she wasn’t looking, the last of which Ruby didn’t mind at all. It was a new, exhilarating feeling for her; being wanted like this. It almost scared her, but she _definitely_ didn’t want Weiss to stop.

Unfortunately for Ruby, all of these behaviors came with an uptick of grumbling, groaning, and general abrasiveness from her darling girlfriend. She thought that maybe letting loose and dealing with her fresh, uncontrolled libido would help Weiss chill out, but if anything, she’d only gotten crankier. 

Ruby wasn’t sure exactly _why,_ though she had several hypotheses. She knew Weiss felt bad about indulging her desires, having been brought up believing doing so was dirty and wrong. If that was what was making her irritable, Ruby just needed to reassure her that she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

However, based on her observations, Ruby was concerned that Weiss might just be getting even hornier. It made sense, Ruby grimaced, remembering her own early, uncomfortable relationship with her libido. 

Or maybe it was completely unrelated. _Get your mind out of the gutter, Ruby,_ she chided herself. Just because she was a horny mess in quarantine didn’t mean Weiss was too. _If she could read your mind she’d be disgusted._

Ruby settled for awkwardly sitting beside Weiss on her bed. “How’re you doing, Weiss? Got any plans for the rest of another fine quarantine day?”

“Ugh,” was her only response.

“Are you holding up alright?”

“I’m fine,” Weiss grumbled. She cracked her neck before looking back at her phone. “I’m just… never you mind.”

Ruby knit her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You can talk to me, y’know?” Ruby smiled tentatively. “We’re partners. I’m here for you.”

Sighing, Weiss locked her phone and tossed it on the bed beside her. “You aren’t giving up, are you?”

“Of course not, Weiss!” Ruby beamed. “I love you!”

“I love you too, Ruby,” Weiss said. “It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“It’s just that…” Weiss trailed off. Her eyes defocused a tad. “I’m so bored, Ruby. How long have we been in quarantine, again?”

Ruby did some quick calculations in her head. “Three weeks, give or take?”

“Three weeks,” Weiss scoffed. “Three weeks, and I’m already losing my mind. How am I supposed to handle three months of this? What if people don’t wear their masks and we have to stay inside even longer? God forbid we have to wait until there’s a vaccine, that could take years. Three weeks!”

Ruby winced through her teeth. Seeing Weiss upset like this always pained her. She could fix this, couldn’t she? Ruby Rose was a goddamn ray of sunshine, she was perfectly capable of playing the therapist. “I know it looks bad, Weiss, but we’ve got each other, don’t we? And Yang, and Blake! We had a nice time at the apartment party together, remember?”

“We did.” Weiss gave her a sideways look. “But we can’t have a party every night. Even if we could, that would get boring rather quickly anyway.”

“So what you’re saying is that you want to experiment and try new things?” Ruby asked. She hadn’t expected Weiss to blush. A split second later Ruby realized the ambiguity of her phrasing, but despite her better judgement, she couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of herself. At least she wasn’t the only one with her in the gutter. She let Weiss stew in embarrassment for just a moment longer before reassuring her. “Not what I meant.”

“Of course not,” Weiss breathed. As if she wasn’t blushing furiously, she pressed on. “So, then, what did you have in mind? There’s not much we can do while stuck indoors like this. We can’t go anywhere.”

“We don’t have to,” Ruby chirped. “There’s plenty of things we can do at home! You’ve been exercising every morning and journaling, which is great. I’ve just been watching anime.”

Weiss wrinkled her nose. “It’s gotten boring quickly.” She reached for her phone and checked the time. “Besides, I’ve already done that this morning.”

“We could play a video game together?”

“No fun,” Weiss said. “I’m not a gamer, unlike you. I wouldn’t provide enough challenge to entertain you, and I find no pleasure in losing repeatedly.”

Ruby wracked her brain. “We could read something together? I love the sound of your voice. You could read out loud and I could rest my head in your lap?”

“I’ll grant you, that does sound mildly appealing, but no.” Weiss shook her head. “You can’t sit still to save your life. You’re bouncing your leg as we speak.”

“Heh, am I?” Ruby chuckled, stilling her leg. A moment later, she was unconsciously bouncing it again. “We could play a board game? Not monopoly, obviously, but, like, checkers?”

Weiss rolled her eyes. “You can stop suggesting things, Ruby.”

“C’mon, there’s gotta be something better than laying in bed on social media all day.”

“I’m sure there is.”

“Hmph.” Ruby pouted. “You know what? I think you’ve got something in mind and you’re just not saying so.”

“What? Why would you think that? I wouldn’t lie to you.”

A mischievous smirk crossed Ruby’s face. “Maybe you just can’t admit it to yourself.”

“I have no idea what you’re insinuating.”

“Sure.” Ruby bounced her leg. She wouldn’t push the issue. No matter how much she wanted to grab Weiss and kiss her breathless, the last thing she wanted was a repeat of their first kiss, the night before quarantine. Everything had happened so fast. If Ruby lost herself like that again, as if she were a horny teenager, the way she’d been before she started hormones, she might push Weiss too far. She couldn’t live with herself if she did that. 

They were taking it slow, Ruby reminded herself. Three weeks ago the two of them had barely kissed. Weiss was a lady, refined and regal, and, despite her denial, dainty. While Ruby was just as inexperienced with physical intimacy as her girlfriend, she still knew that if either of them had to take charge, it would have to be her, despite her relative youth. She was a leader at heart, after all.

She could find a healthy balance, couldn’t she? There was nothing more important to her than Weiss’s comfort, after all. Ruby set her jaw. She couldn't allow Weiss to continue being uncomfortable with her sexuality while still claiming to be a good girlfriend. Still, she had to make sure not to push her into anything she didn’t want, no matter her own desires. If she let herself slip into the warm haze of lust, how could she make sure Weiss was safe? 

Especially given her body. For all her life, it had betrayed her in one way or another. Since starting hormones, her rebellious flesh had mellowed somewhat, finally taking on a shape she could see in the mirror without cringing. But how could she trust her body to behave itself around her girlfriend? She swallowed. Ruby would make sure, no matter what, that her prim and proper lesbian girlfriend would never have to deal with the disgusting urges squirming in her id. They were too crude for her, too hormonal, too _male_ for what she deserved. Weiss needed gentle affection, full of love, not whatever depravity lurked within Ruby’s subconscious.

Then again, there _was_ a part of her body she knew Weiss was rather fond of. Slowly, a plan started taking shape in her mind. If she could draw Weiss into making the first move…

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” Ruby chuckled. Weiss gave her a grunt, not looking up from her phone, just as Ruby anticipated. “I mean, we don’t exactly have AC, but it’s barely April. It shouldn’t be so hot in here. Maybe it’s ‘cause we’re stuck inside? All that body heat’s filling up our room.”

“I’m reasonably confident it doesn’t work that way.”

“Still,” Ruby shrugged. “My pajamas are too hot. You don’t mind if I take them off, do you?”

“Of course not.” Weiss’s voice was unfairly steady. “It’s none of my business how clothed you are.”

“It’s a little bit your business,” Ruby quipped. Still, it was enough. She slipped out of her pajamas with a rustle of fabric, stretching her legs out on the bed next to Weiss. She tugged at her tank top, straightening it out. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Ruby?” Weiss frowned. Still, her eyes hadn’t left her phone. Ruby had to up her game.

“It’s okay to look, Weiss,” Ruby breathed, her smile clear in her voice. “And, y’know, I’m not driving now, so...” 

Weiss’s eyes flicked from her phone to Ruby’s bare legs. It was just a glance -- Weiss was clearly trying to be subtle -- but it was enough. Ruby didn’t bother to hide her smirk, whispering a quiet “score!” to herself.

“You’re not proving anything right now.” Weiss rolled her eyes. Still, she reached out a hand to Ruby’s thigh, carefully keeping her eyes focused on her phone screen. 

“I know I’m not,” Ruby lied. It wasn’t the reaction she’d expected, sure, but she could do more. Besides, Weiss’s hand felt lovely against her skin. Her fingers were cool, refreshing against the blankets warmed by Ruby’s body heat. No matter how many times Weiss assured Ruby that she had exceptional circulation, her extremities were always cold, even when she blushed. Cold and soft, like fresh powder snow. “This is nice.”

“It is.” Weiss’s voice was monotone. She didn’t look up from her phone.

“Even with your cold fingers, it’s still pretty hot in here,” Ruby mused. For once, Weiss didn’t argue. “My tank top’s too tight for this.”

Weiss’s breath caught in her throat. “So?” She was scrolling aimlessly, now. From what Ruby could see, she wasn’t focused on any of the posts on her feed, liking them regardless of their content. This was fine. If she needed a distraction, Ruby was all too happy to let her have one. For now.

“Ahh, that’s better.”

Weiss visibly flinched when she heard Ruby’s tank top hit the floor, thrown over to Ruby’s side of the room. Her grip around Ruby’s thigh tightened deliciously.

“You doing okay there, Weissy?”

“Don’t tease me,” Weiss grumbled halfheartedly.

“You can look if you wanna,” Ruby said. She put a hand on Weiss’s shoulder and felt the other girl flinch again. “Weiss.”

Weiss gulped. “I shouldn’t.”

Ruby’s heart melted. “You should. It’s okay. I like knowing that you think I’m hot.”

“So full of yourself.”

 _I could be full of you,_ Ruby wanted to say. “Only ‘cause you feed my ego when you look at me the way you do.”

“Do you want me to look at you or not?” Weiss snapped.

“I want what you want,” Ruby said easily. “And I want you to know there’s nothing wrong with what you want.”

“I, um.” Weiss locked her phone. She stared at her reflection on the black screen. “Okay.” She gave Ruby’s thigh a gentle squeeze.

“Is this too much?” Ruby asked.

“No, I want to, I’m just-” halfway through her explanation, Weiss seemed to think better of it, turning to face Ruby. Her face was pink to her ears. “Boobs.”

Ruby had the decency to blush. “Grew ‘em myself. Heh.”

Weiss didn’t blink. She raised a hand forward, as if to reach out and grasp Ruby, but pulled away, holding it at her chest, fingers clenched.

“You can touch,” Ruby chuckled. Her heart was pounding in her throat. “I told you, there’s nothing wrong with what you want.”

“Are you certain?” Weiss bit her lip, but didn’t meet Ruby’s eyes, for obvious reasons. “My hands are cold, and, um, I don’t know how to-”

“Just be gentle.” Ruby assured her with a smile. “You could kiss me first if it’ll make you feel better.”

“It…” Weiss pondered. “It would.” Then, slowly, she tore her eyes from Ruby’s chest and leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. The hair on the back of Ruby’s neck stood on end, electricity running up her spine. She closed her eyes, leaning into the kiss, enjoying the sensation of soft, full lips against her own.

She jumped when Weiss’s hand cupped the underside of her breast. It was all Ruby could do not to snap her eyes open, eager to see Weiss’s reaction, but the other girl was clearly trying to hide it. She pressed her lips more firmly against Ruby’s, a tongue darting out to tease between Ruby’s lips.

Weiss pulled away with a deep breath, her hand dropping to her sides. Her eyes darted up and down, her mouth open dazedly. Ruby wanted to laugh, to tease her girlfriend for her dumbstruck reaction, but found she really didn’t have it in her. She was glad to see her like this, with her walls down.

“Can I… Wow.” Weiss said. “Can I touch you again?”

“What do you think?” Ruby smirked. Her smile softened. “Go for it, princess.”

Weiss scowled, but groped her all the same, a little less gently this time. “Your… they’re so soft.”

“They’re supposed to be.” Ruby hummed in affirmation. “You have two hands, you know.”

“I’m leaning on one arm at the moment, Ruby,” Weiss said. “I can’t exactly-”

“Wanna get comfortable?”

“Yes,” Weiss said quickly. She pulled her knees underneath her, sitting on her heels, and reached out with both hands. “This is nice.”

“Mhm. I’m glad you like my chest.”

“I, er, I did not expect to be doing this when I woke up this morning,” Weiss said. She squeezed slightly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s a first.”

“Ruby!” Weiss whined. She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut. She shifted her hands, palming at Ruby’s nipples, provoking a shiver. 

Her hands were cold. Ruby knew that. What she hadn’t expected was how that felt so _good._ She could feel her nipples stiffening underneath Weiss’s thumbs, rubbing at her in little circles. For a moment, she felt a deep pang of regret for taking off her pajama pants; she was too exposed. Operation: Distract Weiss With Sexy Legs had failed, but she was still bare, save for her black boyshorts. She crossed her legs, hoping Weiss would be too distracted to notice, which, thankfully, she was. This was about Weiss and her feelings, not Ruby’s shameful arousal.

“They’re… big,” Weiss said lamely. “I can’t quite fit them in my hands.”

“They’re not big, you just have small hands,” Ruby chuckled. 

“Ruby!” Weiss snapped. “I’m serious!” She swallowed. “I guess you really are Yang’s sister.”

Ruby prickled. “We both got the Xiao Long, uh, chest genes, but she’s cis, so mine aren’t as... Can we maybe not talk about my sister right now?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just- um, wow. I need to wear push-up bras if I want any cleavage whatsoever, and you- do you want to see my breasts too, Ruby?” Weiss finished breathlessly.

Ruby’s eyebrows shot up behind her bangs. “Do you want-”

“Yes!” Weiss squeaked. She pulled her hands to the hem of her top, pulling it up just above her navel before she stopped. “If that’s okay with you?”

Ruby considered her words carefully. “I’m not complaining,” she said, her voice casual, despite her pounding heart.

“I know they’re not exactly impressive.” Weiss bit her lip. “They’re small, and, er, never mind.” Ruby frowned, but Weiss pulled her top off, and all of Ruby’s thoughts dripped out her ears. 

Weiss held up her arms protectively, not quite covering herself. Slowly, she relaxed. “This is me,” she said.

“You’re lovely,” Ruby said, awed. She raised a hand. “Can I? I mean, do you want me to…?”

“A-are you sure you want to?” Weiss’s voice wavered. “Since your b-breasts are larger than mine, and you could just feel your own whenever you want to, so you don’t need to-”

“Weiss,” Ruby said, leaning forward to take her girlfriend’s hand in her own. “There’s more to boobs than size. Your chest is perfect. It’s soft and smooth and perfect. You have nothing to feel bad about.”

“Perfect?” Weiss asked, incredulous. Her blush deepened. “I don’t- I shouldn’t complain, it’s stupid.”

“You can talk to me, okay?” Ruby guided Weiss’s hand over her heart. “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t complain,” Weiss repeated. “I know you’ve had your issues with your own breasts, having suffered what you have suffered, so-”

“Just tell me, Weiss.” Ruby smiled.

Weiss squeezed her eyes shut. Swallowed. Let out a sigh. “My chest is boyish. I was never mocked for it, not personally, but I’ve consumed enough media to know that flat-chested women have their womanhood questioned. So I- I wore padding. Still wear padding. Um.” Weiss bit her lip. “Do you... Do you understand me?”

“I feel you,” Ruby said brightly. “But your chest isn’t boyish at all. I would’ve loved to have what you had before I started hormones.”

Weiss blinked. “I- I see.”

“I can prove it to you, see?”

“Wh-what are you-”

Ruby pulled Weiss into a tight embrace, squeezing her breasts against Weiss’s own. Despite her cold fingers, Weiss’s body was scorching hot.

“Wow,” Weiss managed to say. Her voice was weak.

“If you really had a flat chest, this wouldn’t feel quite so good,” Ruby murmured against Weiss’s ear. “See? You’re perfect?”

“Kiss me?” Weiss whimpered. “P-please?”

Ruby obliged.

It was different, kissing Weiss like this. Both of them topless, sitting on Weiss’s bed, the room silent save for Weiss’s squeaks of pleasure. It sent a fire through Ruby’s guts, burning her from the inside out. She kissed Weiss hungrily, desperately, as if only her lips and tongue could quench it, but instead of relief, the heat only built with every burning kiss. 

Despite it all, Ruby was in control. She relaxed into the kisses, let Weiss grip her shoulders with those cold fingers of hers before pulling her closer, running a hand down her back. She drew circles behind her shoulder blade, stroking the muscles just beneath the skin, moaning into Ruby’s mouth. Even with all the stimuli, the heat building in her core, the thirsty desires boiling in the back of her mind, Ruby didn’t lose focus. She focused on her girlfriend, on stroking her cheek as they kissed, running her fingers through soft white hair, occasionally tweaking a nipple just to feel Weiss’s gasp against her lips.

“Ruby,” Weiss breathed, pulling back. Her eyes were dark with lust, her pupils dilated. She clutched at one of Ruby’s hands with both of her own, pressing kisses against the knuckle. Her breath was hot. “Remember when we-”

“Yeah?” Ruby’s head was spinning. She blinked a couple of times, her eyes locked to Weiss’s ear. She couldn’t look anywhere else, not when Weiss was topless and sitting so close right in front of her, not when her eyes were so intense.

“Can I? With two?”

Ruby swallowed. She nodded.

“Thank you, thank you,” Weiss whined, gently separating Ruby’s index and middle fingers from the pack and pressing them against her lower lip. She breathed out, her breath like boiling water vapor. Ruby shivered. A small, pink tongue darted out to lap at her fingertips, circling both fingers one at a time, slipping between the two once.

Then she pulled Ruby’s fingers into her mouth, and all higher brain function ceased.

 _Warm,_ Ruby thought. _Wet._ She shivered. _T-tight..._

Weiss moaned around her fingers. The vibration shot straight to Ruby’s core, the muscles of her legs coiling and tensing. She grit her teeth. She pushed deeper, let Weiss take her fingers into her slick, hot mouth to the knuckle, felt her lick between them with a shiver. Weiss dropped one of her hands, the other clutching at Ruby’s wrist like her life depended on it, and rushed forward, groping at Ruby with abandon. 

It was almost overwhelming. Weiss’s hand ran up and down her side, teasing at the waistband of her boyshorts as she pulled her cheeks in and sucked, the flat of her tongue cupping Ruby’s fingers. She couldn’t hold back her moans at the sensation. Her length ached, crushed between her thighs, dripping wet. She wished for a moment that it was not her fingers caressed between Weiss’s lips, that she was fully nude and exposed before her lover. Could Weiss take her cock as deep as her fingers? Would her eyes flutter shut the same way, a low moan coming from her throat? Ruby would shiver, tense her thighs, tangle her fingers in Weiss’s hair as she sucked. Would Weiss do that for her? Would it feel as good as her mouth did around her fingers?

Ruby whimpered. Her arm shook, her fingers curling and uncurling against Weiss’s tongue. It felt so soft, so wet, so warm, Ruby could barely handle it. When the thought struck her, she nearly let out a sob. What if it weren’t Weiss’s mouth? Would Weiss want Ruby in that way, to take her, penetrate her, fuck her? The image came too easily to Ruby’s frazzled mind; Weiss, beneath her, face contorted in pleasure as Ruby pushed into her, felt her warmth engulf her length, deeper and deeper until-

Ruby’s eyes snapped open. A wave of revulsion shot through her body, bile in her throat. She couldn’t do that to Weiss. _Wouldn’t_ do that to the woman she loved. She refused, she refused! She shook the image from her head, biting the inside of her cheek. Weiss would never want that, would never want anything to do with Ruby’s loathsome cock, nothing like Ruby’s fingers, innocent and gentle. 

She clenched her thighs together, as if to crush her hated length. She was enjoying herself, relaxing for her girlfriend, and her body had betrayed her. _Bad Ruby,_ she thought. _No! Wrong!_ No more thinking of such things with her lesbian girlfriend, not now, not ever.

Weiss, oblivious to Ruby’s inner turmoil, pulled Ruby’s fingers from her mouth. Strands of saliva connected her lips to the digits. With a flourish, Weiss pressed her tongue against the base, sliding it along the length of Ruby’s fingers.

It was too much. Ruby snatched her hand away, gathering her thoughts and burying them back into her subconscious. She kissed Weiss in a frenzy, and, after wiping her hand on her thigh, reached up to pinch Weiss’s nipples once more. This was about Weiss. Weiss’s shame towards her sexuality, her desires, her struggle to voice her wants and needs and to overcome the repression of her adolescence. She would comfort Weiss, soothe her insecurities and guide her through healthy sexual expression.

Ruby was a good girlfriend. In fact, she was such a good girlfriend that she managed not to bother Weiss with her discomfort, kept it under wraps. She could do this; show her girlfriend a good time.

“Weiss,” Ruby murmured, nuzzling into her neck.

“R-Ruby?” Weiss whimpered. She let out a gasp when Ruby dipped her head, sealing her lips around a pink nipple, her voice rising to an almost inaudible squeak. “Th-that feels so g- hnnnhh…”

Ruby pulled off with a pop. “Glad you like it.”

“Ruby, I’m, I’m,” Weiss breathed. “You’re so good, I’m so…” She shivered, her whole body twitching. “Ruby, I’m so wet.”

Ruby’s jaw dropped.

“Ruby, I can’t, I…”

“Do you want me to touch you?” Ruby asked, biting her lip. “That’s, uh, that’s a lot.”

“Rubyyy,” Weiss whined.

“Weiss,” Ruby said, trying to hold her voice steady. “Slow, remember? Are you really ready for that?”

“Of course I…” Weiss’s eyes opened. Her brow furrowed. “...I’m not, am I?”

“P-probably not,” Ruby stuttered. “You’ll know when you’re ready, I think.”

“You’re right, right,” Weiss mumbled. “Thanks, Ruby. I was-”

“-too horny to think straight?” Ruby cracked a smile.

“-so _obscene,_ ” Weiss snapped. She hung her head, groaning through her teeth. “What’s _wrong_ with me? Begging like some licentious nymphomaniac, so-”

“Weiss, you’re not-”

“-salacious, indecent, vile _slut-_ ”

“Weiss!”

She flinched. “Ruby, I-”

Ruby pressed a finger to her lips. “Weiss, you’re okay.”

Weiss’s lip quivered. “No, I’m not, I shouldn’t-”

“Bupbupbup!” Ruby shushed Weiss. “Weiss, you’re _fine._ You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

“But I-”

“-didn’t do anything,” Ruby finished. “It’s okay to get turned on, Weiss. It doesn’t make you a pervert or a monster or anything.”

Weiss’s blue eyes were wide and watery, but she didn’t speak. Slowly, Ruby dropped her finger from Weiss’s lips, trying not to think of how so recently it had been between them, and how good it had felt.

“Even if you decided you were ready for me to touch you, it would’ve been okay,” Ruby said. 

Weiss opened her mouth just to close it again. She smacked her lips. “Do you really mean that?”

Smiling, Ruby put a hand on her shoulder. “I’d do anything for you, Weiss.”

“You really think I’m not debasing myself? I’m not turning into a slut or-”

“No, Weiss,” Ruby pinched her.

“Hey!”

“You’re just not used to being horny. If anyone’s a pervert here, it’s me, I mean,” Ruby blushed, “I’ll do anything you want. As long as you’re sure you want it, okay?”

Weiss scoffed. “My, Ruby, so eager.”

Ruby’s blush deepened. “Yeah.”

“I think I understand,” Weiss said. She took a deep breath. “Thank you for checking in.”

“No problem,” Ruby chirped. Her voice was hoarse. “Do you, um, maybe wanna take care of yourself on your own?”

Weiss’s eyes widened. Slowly, she began to slip a hand beneath her leggings.

“Without me here!” Ruby squealed. “I’m not- I can give you privacy, I’m not, I- I swear I’m not the kind of pervert who just wants to watch or something-”

“Oh!” Weiss said, her face erupting in a blush. “That’s considered perverse? I-”

“If that’s what you’re into, I’ll do it,” Ruby said quickly. “But, uh, I think I wanna go take a cold shower?”

Weiss nodded. “Put a shirt on before leaving this room, if you would? I’ll not have Blake staring at your chest. That privilege is mine alone.”

Ruby giggled. The tension in the room started to ebb away. No matter how long they’d been together, Ruby would never tire of Weiss’s odd, old-fashioned speech patterns. “Course not, princess.” She slid off the bed, grabbed her shirt, and pulled it over her shoulders by the door. “Have fun?”

Weiss blushed. “Thank you?”

Ruby laughed once more.

After enduring the cold water for several long seconds, Ruby turned the heat up, sighing as the water soothed her aching muscles. Slowly, she let her mind unravel, running through the past ten minutes, committing them to memory. She didn’t want to forget the way she’d turned Weiss on, and good she’d made her feel.

Discomfort swirled in her stomach. Briefly, she considered that being naked wasn’t the best idea, considering her lingering dysphoria, but it wasn’t like she could shower in her boyshorts. She’d lost control and her desires had broken through. She hadn’t acted on them, thankfully, but even wanting Weiss the way she had left a bad taste on her tongue.

Closing her eyes, Ruby ran her hands through her hair, massaging the conditioner along her scalp. Carefully, she reached out with her thoughts again, dipped her toe into the ocean of her id, felt for her fantasies.

They were still there, close to the surface. Weiss’s mouth around her length. Weiss underneath her, wrapped around her. 

Ruby rinsed her hair clean, washing her desires down the drain with her conditioner. With a growing horror, Ruby came to realize that it was of no use. Despite it all, she still wanted Weiss that way. Wanted to penetrate her. Make love to her. Fuck her.

She couldn’t stomach it. She turned around, gargled some shower water, and spat it down the drain. She wasn’t prepared for this. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to reconcile her sexual desire with her genital dysphoria. And Weiss… That made the decision for her.

Weiss wouldn’t want that. She was a lesbian, and lesbians, as a general rule, were not fond of the particular equipment Ruby was cursed with. Ruby could see it now: Weiss, comforting her, telling her it was okay, that she loved her and wanted to make her feel good, only to grimace and bear it. She would regret it, would want to leave her, but the two of them would be stuck together in quarantine. Weiss would come to resent her, then hate her. 

Ruby couldn’t do that to her. Not even in her fantasies.

She loved Weiss too much for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby and Weiss are not coping well with this whole "horny" thing.
> 
> Comments are the fuel on which I write more fic.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: internalized transphobia, gender dysphoria, making out, spiders.

Shortly after leaving the shower, Ruby slipped on her headphones and into solitude.

Sure, she gave her girlfriend a quick hello as she reentered their shared room, clad only in a towel, but Weiss couldn’t seem to meet her eyes for whatever reason. She said she hadn't done anything, and then left for a shower of her own. Frankly, Ruby didn’t have the energy left for conversation anyway. Or for anything, really.

Over the course of the quarantine thus far, Ruby had learned a great many things, chief among them that she had the potential to be really fucking lazy when left to her own devices. While she may have lacked Weiss’s particular brand of overachiever instincts, Ruby had always considered herself a go-getter, self-motivated with a solid work ethic. She believed she indulged her laziness only when she’d earned it, much in the same way she would promise herself a plate of cookies for making it through her classwork. Quarantine proved her utterly wrong. 

Most significant of all, Ruby had forgotten the value of dressing up. She spent most of the last three weeks in her comfiest pajamas, rather than her usual perky goth aesthetic full of black and red and an alarming number of crosses, both right-side up and inverted, for a woman with no ties to the particular faiths they represented. As much time and effort Ruby put into presenting in a way which made her almost feel comfortable with being perceived, there was a certain pleasure that came from lazing about all day in her sleepwear instead. Especially now that she could do so without running the risk of being misgendered; hormones were magic. Even on her short trip to the grocery store with Weiss a few days ago, Ruby had dressed casually, knowing she would return home soon. The mask helped, too. No need to put on her face if she was going to cover it up. 

After three weeks of pajamas and athleisure garments, however, Ruby couldn’t handle another second. She was sick of her reflection, her ill-sized comfy t-shirts and tank tops, and her baggy pajamas and tight athletic shorts. It was comfy, sure, but it wasn’t _her,_ and Ruby wanted to be aware of her body without cringing for the first time in a few days.

That was how she justified cinching her corset around her waist that afternoon even though the only people who would see her were practically or literally family. Ruby wasn’t stupid, she knew how to wear it without injuring herself, and corsets were just souped-up bras anyway. She relished the minor discomfort of being encouraged to sit up straight by the unyielding fabric, and the volume of cleavage she could manage only with a well-fitted corset. Even if it hurt a little after a while, just like wearing a bra, it was plenty worth it. Ruby followed the same reasoning with her tuck, and, on the few occasions she’d managed to balance on the stupid lady stilts, high heels.

All of this was to say that despite being at home, Ruby chose to tuck her junk back where the sun don’t shine as tightly as she could. It hurt, yes, but it was fucking worth it.

A metal cover of her favorite anime theme played through her headphones as Ruby took stock of herself. Her corset flattened her stomach, and that flatness continued past her groin to the tops of her thighs. She wore a thin black miniskirt, tight around her hips, leaving little to the imagination, and it suited Ruby’s desires perfectly; showing off her blessed, albeit temporary, lack of a bulge.

She pulled a thin crimson hoodie over her corset, camouflaging it so she could pretend her posture was naturally perfect, like her girlfriend’s. Unlike her dysphoria hoodie, the bulky red pullover sweatshirt Ruby wore day in and day out to cover up her body in layers of soft, worn fabric, this hoodie hugged every one of Ruby’s curves. Following the shape of the corset, it trimmed her waist without hiding the flare of her hips.

All in all, as far as she was concerned, Ruby finally looked like herself for the first time in days. That is to say, cute as fuck, with any hint of masculinity. From the carmine headphones atop her head to the tips of her thigh-high black-and-red striped socks, Ruby’s outfit was an expression of herself. With the hoodie, it looked almost casual. 

Ruby had struggled with clothes for a long time. From her youth, dressed in baby blues and boys’ T-shirts, her early, awkward experimentation with girls’ clothes in secret before coming out, and worst of all, stuffing herself into a suit for her mom’s funeral, Ruby was no stranger to crimes against fashion. There was a challenging learning curve, especially when she first began presenting female in public, but Ruby had clawed her way to style. She was dressed to kill.

All things considered, though, she really didn’t match the vibes of the dinner table that evening.

Yang had braved the outside world and picked up a couple pizzas for the rest of the apartment. They probably could have split a single large pizza between the four of them, but given Yang’s taste for pineapple on her pizza and Blake’s for anchovies, Ruby was pretty pleased to share a small cheese pizza with her girlfriend. Too many toppings hit her with Bad Sensory Issues, and Weiss was suitably vanilla with her own toppings, as befitted her silvery aesthetic. 

Despite sharing the same tastes, Ruby and Weiss couldn’t have looked more different sitting next to one another at the fold-out table in the middle of the living room. Weiss still had her hair up in a towel while Ruby was dressed to the nines. At first, Ruby was afraid she’d done something wrong, considering the way Weiss refused to make eye contact with her, but Ruby warmed to it quickly. Eye contact wasn’t her thing anyway.

“Now who might you be trying to seduce tonight, Rubes?” Yang drawled. She had both elbows on the table and a smirk across her lips. “Anyone in particular you’re trying to impress?”

“Myself,” Ruby answered honestly. “Surely it’s not suspicious for _me_ of all people to wanna feel good in my body.”

Yang laughed. “There’s no need to get all defensive. Sick look, though.”

“There’s a little reason to get defensive,” Blake said. “You were teasing her.”

“I could do your makeup after dinner if you want, like old times,” Yang offered, plowing on as if Blake hadn’t said anything. “If it’ll help at all, I mean.”

“I’m touched, but I’m a little busy,” Ruby said. “I’ve got a date with-”

“Wait, what?” Weiss’s eyes widened. She nearly dropped her slice of pizza. “I’m not prepared for-”

“Ooh, caught off guard!” Yang hit Ruby with a pair of finger guns. “Smooth, sis.”

“-with video games, guys. I’ve got a date with video games.” 

Blake chuckled dryly. She elbowed Yang in the ribs, as if to say _gottem._

“Well, that’s a relief,” Weiss said. “And here I was afraid I’d forgotten something important.”

A brief silence enveloped the table, save for the sound of pizza being chewed.

“I haven’t forgotten something important, right?”

“Nothing I can think of,” said Blake. “Nothing much important’s going on. How could it? We’re in quarantine.”

“Don’t remind me,” Weiss grumbled.

“That’s what you’ve forgotten, huh?” said Yang. “Nothing’s much more important than the great big ordeal going on outside, right?”

“I suppose.” Weiss stared at her slice of pizza as if it could give her a better answer.

 _No,_ Ruby thought. _There’s more important things going on inside._ She may not want to talk about them, but she knew her feelings were right there, beneath the surface, sealed tightly behind her corset and the spanx that held her tuck in place. No matter how big the world outside the apartment was and all the terrible things going on out there, it just couldn’t compare to the emotions whirling around in Ruby’s head, not now. Everything beyond the apartment’s windows felt a little unreal. In Ruby’s head though, it was inescapable.

As much as she liked dressing up for its own sake, to look like the cute goth girl Ruby knew she was, she couldn’t lie to herself about her true intentions. In tucking back her junk, she was also burying her darkest desires deep beneath the surface, even if it hurt a little. In fact, she found the discomfort almost grimly satisfying, punishing herself for fantasizing about things her girlfriend would never want. It was almost Pavlovian negative reinforcement.

The conversation had moved on without her. Weiss and Yang were engaged in deep debate over the acceptability of pineapple on pizza as Blake consumed the drama from the sidelines, wisely not mentioning her own controversial tastes. Ruby was just fine with that. The less she had to say, the more pizza she could shove in her face. If she was to punish herself regardless, stew in her self-loathing for her shameful wants, she could at least try to enjoy the little things in life. 

* * *

It was a little difficult for Ruby to focus on her game with Weiss nipping at her ear. To be fair, though, that was her intent. Even Ruby wasn’t fool enough to misunderstand.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you do to me?” Weiss breathed, grazing Ruby’s earlobe with her teeth. “Are you trying to torture me, Ruby Rose? Tempt me into sweet sin?”

Ruby chuckled nervously. She wanted to say that _no,_ in fact, she was _not_ trying to seduce her girlfriend, but then Weiss ran her tongue along the shell of Ruby’s ear and her words turned to gibberish in her throat. She tried to distract herself, focus on her eleven-year-old copy of Pokémon Platinum Version on her six-year-old 3DS, but the game ran slower than a dying snail and Ruby didn’t have the willpower to focus with Weiss’s hands all over her.

“Everything we’ve done today and I’ve still not yet satisfied myself,” Weiss murmured. “I have been turned on since this morning. I’m _aching_ for you, Ruby.”

“Why didn’t you take care of it when I was in the shower?” Ruby asked. She squirmed, her bare thighs rubbing together. Her tuck felt even more uncomfortable than usual.

“You think I didn’t try?” Weiss snapped. She bit into Ruby’s neck, sparking a squeal from the younger girl. “Have you forgotten my ignorance so quickly? Don’t you think I could use a hand?”

Ruby swallowed.

“And then you had to dress up for dinner.” Weiss kissed Ruby’s throat and sucked. “How did you expect me to react? You’re gorgeous, Ruby. I want you.”

“Wow,” Ruby breathed.

Weiss sealed her lips around Ruby’s pulse point and sucked. If she hadn’t moaned under her breath as she did so, sending vibrations through Ruby’s body, Ruby might have been able to hold in her own moans. Ruby closed her 3DS, admitting defeat with a _clack_. Weiss wanted her enough to mark her, claim her for her own. She pulled back for a moment, probably examining the bruise she’d given Ruby, a line of saliva connecting Weiss’s lips to her throat. While Ruby couldn’t exactly see it, she’d bet that as certain as the Earth orbited the sun, her hickey was a deep blossoming purple. 

Weiss wasn’t done. She buried her face in the crook of Ruby’s neck, biting into her shoulder. She sucked the soft skin between her teeth with a subtle growl. Ruby couldn’t tell if it was intentional. In fact, she didn’t care; it was fucking hot either way. She whimpered, leaning her head to the side, exposing her sensitive, vulnerable throat to her girlfriend’s mercy.

“Hah,” Weiss breathed, gasping for air. Her pupils were blown, blue eyes dark with lust. “You taste so good.”

In an instant, Ruby’s mind was awash with images, unbidden and unwanted. _You taste so good,_ Fantasy-Weiss murmured around her cock. She licked her up the length of her shaft, swirled her tongue around the dripping tip, pulled it into her mouth and swallowed around it. Fantasy-Weiss’s throat was so warm, so tight, it was all she could do not to grab her by the hair and hold her there, gagging and moaning deliriously until she burst.

Outside her head, though, all Ruby did was cross her legs, clench her eyes shut, and wince. Weiss’s hickeys felt good, almost _too_ good. She didn’t want to think about fucking Weiss, not when Weiss would hate her for it.

“Ruby?” Weiss knit her brows. She withdrew, sitting awkwardly at the edge of Ruby’s bed. “Should I not have--I’m sorry for marking you.”

Ruby’s throat was dry. “Weiss, I-”

“I’m being too aggressive, aren’t I? Since the events of this afternoon, when you had to remind me not to-”

“Weiss!” Ruby pulled her girlfriend on top of her, smothering her in a hug. Her discomfort faded to the background. This was familiar territory, comforting Weiss. It was easier to help her deal with her issues than to cope with her own dysphoria. “You know I’d do anything for you, right, Weiss?”

“I love you, Ruby.”

Ruby perked up. “I love you too, Weiss!”

“Would you really, though?” Weiss met Ruby’s gaze, her eyes half-lidded. “Do anything for me, that is?”

 _I’d simp for you all day and night, princess,_ Ruby thought. Given that Weiss was less familiar than she was with internet slang, Ruby nodded instead. She blushed, but couldn’t quite figure out why. 

“Thank you, Ruby.” Weiss pecked her on the lips. “I know I’m not the most ideal partner, what with my hangups about s-sex and being--what was the phrase?-- _horny on main_ , but you’ve been here for me every step of the way. Even earlier today, when I was going to…” She let the words hang unspoken in the air. “Thank you for guiding me through healthy sexual development.”

“No problem,” Ruby said. She gave Weiss a pat on the head, earning herself an adorable, angry pout. No matter how many times Weiss told her not to do that, that it was degrading, Ruby knew better. Weiss liked it and was too embarrassed to say so. Learning the meaning behind her words had been tricky for Ruby at first, but after the time Weiss had said “shut up, don’t touch me” as she squeezed Ruby in a tight hug, Ruby had her figured out. She was a quick learner, after all.

“I know this might sound unreliable, considering you’re the only person I’ve ever kissed,” Weiss said, “but I think you’re an incredible kisser.”

“Really? No way,” Ruby smiled. “I think you’re a great kisser too!”

“No, Ruby, you don’t understand. Your kisses _do_ things to me. You don’t even have to touch me! Just kiss me and suddenly I’m hot and bothered.” Weiss blushed. “It’s unfair. I can’t do the same thing to you.”

“Geez, Weiss. I don’t think you’ve ever praised me like that before. It’s gonna go to my head.”

“Shut up, you dolt!” Weiss rolled her eyes and grit her teeth. “Let me finish.”

Ruby’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe Weiss would set her up like that. “I can help you finish, y’know.”

Weiss’s entire face turned red. “Ruby!”

Ruby burst into a fit of giggles. “You set me up, Weiss! It was way too easy!”

 _“I’m_ too easy,” Weiss snarked, rubbing away the blush from the bridge of her sharp nose. “That’s my point, in fact. I shouldn’t become a flustered, blushing mess from mere kisses, let alone, I am loath to admit…” Weiss sighed. “...Soaked.”

“Aww, Weissy, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Ruby smiled. “Makes me feel pret-ty dang good about myself, in fact.”

“Speaking of making you feel good,” Weiss said, “shouldn’t I give back a little? After all,” she smirked, biting Ruby’s neck. “It’s only fitting as a thank-you, wouldn’t you say? After how you’ve reassured me that my desires are within expected parameters and shown me just how nice it feels to be touched by someone you trust, shouldn’t I show you everything you’ve taught me?”

“Your, uh, logic is sound,” Ruby said. She bit her lip, trying not to cry out as Weiss sucked another hickey on her neck. 

“Also,” Weiss said. She wiped her swollen lips with the back of her wrist. The action wasn’t particularly vulgar, just a little bit uncouth, out of place for such a dignified young lady. It sent a pulse of heat between Ruby’s thighs. “I want to be just as good a kisser as you. Excite you with just a kiss.”

This time, Ruby couldn’t hold back her moans.

All she could do was lay there and take it. Weiss kissed, bit, and sucked all around her neck, painting the canvas of her skin in pinks and blues and purples. It hurt, but only faintly, an ache that left her wanting more, despite how every twinge of pain was a reminder of Weiss’s lips against her skin, Weiss’s affection and hunger for her.

God, Ruby wanted that feeling all over her body. 

Weiss was all too eager to help her. She pulled Ruby’s tight, form-fitting sweatshirt from her body and threw it on the floor, exposing Ruby’s collarbones, just above her corset. She nipped at them, provoking a pitiful whimper from Ruby’s throat, but it wasn’t until she dragged her tongue, scorching hot and drenched in saliva, across Ruby’s skin that she broke, quivering and whining with want.

Stop. This had to stop. Ruby couldn’t handle it, couldn’t weather the onslaught of Weiss’s hot, wet mouth. Not because it felt bad, but because it felt too good; she was growing harder and harder and being tucked while hard _hurt._ Her tiny skirt was too tight, the spanx underneath crushing her body. Ruby yearned to be free, to rip her clothes from her body and let her cock breathe, but she couldn’t bring herself to beg for mercy. Not when Weiss’s touch felt so good, not when stopping meant Weiss would _see_ her undo her tuck, see the hideous imprint of her cock against her skirt. Just the image filled Ruby with self-loathing; it made her feel like a man fetishizing femininity. If anything could prove her invalid, it would be ruining her skirt with precum, wouldn’t it?

Hating herself for it, but knowing she would hate herself more if she didn’t, Ruby shifted her weight to her side, flipping the two of them until she was straddling Weiss. “You know what would make me feel good, Weiss?”

Weiss stared up at her, doe-eyed. She shook her head.

“What would make me feel good is making _you_ feel good,” Ruby breathed, and slipped her tongue into Weiss’s mouth. It wasn’t a total lie -- she was more comfortable touching Weiss than letting Weiss touch her, after all. She didn’t want Weiss to have to deal with her body’s imperfections.

She hadn’t expected Weiss to fight back. She pushed Ruby off of her so the two of them were side by side, all without breaking the kiss. Weiss wrapped her arms and legs around Ruby as she licked into her mouth, her nose pressed uncomfortably tight against Ruby’s.

Weiss -- _finally_ \-- pulled away. She panted for air, her hot breath sending a shiver down Ruby’s spine. “You’ve been saying my desires are okay, right?” Weiss said, pausing for breath. “What I desire, Ruby, is to return the favor, to do things to my girlfriend. I desire _you.”_ She trailed her fingers down Ruby’s side, over the curve of her hips, toward the junction of her thighs.

Ruby interrupted her with a savage hickey to the throat. The hand against her upper thighs clenched and pulled away as Weiss squealed. “You want to make me feel good?” Ruby asked. Her breath shook, but her words were sure and strong, almost forceful. “I want to mark you, Weiss. I want to prove you’re mine.”

Weiss whimpered. She turned her head to the side, exposing her neck for Ruby to bite and suck to her heart’s content, shivering in anticipation. Ruby didn’t waste any time. She dragged her tongue along the curve of Weiss’s throat, reaching down to undo her tuck. She couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t focus on pleasing and claiming her girlfriend while distracted by the stinging in her groin. She gasped with relief against Weiss’s neck as she dragged her skirt and spanx halfway down her thighs, only covered by her plain black boyshorts, which were quickly becoming much too tight.

Despite Ruby’s squirming, Weiss didn’t notice. Between Ruby’s lips and tongue against her skin, she’d become a submissive, shivering puddle of sweat and arousal. It filled Ruby with a sense of power. She was in control and everything was fine. Weiss was marked and needy and _hers,_ hers alone, hers to touch and and tease and please.

“Tell me what you need,” Ruby growled, a predatory smile spread across her lips. She bit gently right behind Weiss’s ear, provoking a moan.

Weiss, in such a state, was nothing if not obedient. “Make out with me,” she begged. “Hold me as close as you can, as close as possible.”

Ruby balked. Her head was foggy with arousal, but she wasn’t so far gone that she forgot her anxieties. Torn between pleasing Weiss and running the risk of pressing her arousal against her, just like she had the first night they made out, Ruby bit her lip. “Are you okay, Weiss? Do you really wanna-”

“Please,” Weiss whined. 

“It’s not too much?”

“It’s not _enough._ I want this.”

Despite her fear, Ruby couldn’t keep herself from pouncing.

It was exhilarating. It was terrifying. Ruby moaned freely into Weiss’s mouth as she let her full weight fall upon her girlfriend, pressing herself against the smaller woman. Drunk on arousal, Ruby’s instincts took over, her hips rolling against Weiss’s upper thigh. She was so hard it hurt. She could feel her balls contract, throb with need, but somehow it didn’t feel gross at all, just spurred her forward. She bit Weiss’s lower lip, sucked it into her mouth, and pressed herself as close to Weiss as she could.

She felt perfect. Just for a moment. Weiss’s body fit perfectly against her own, like puzzle pieces. Her skin was warm and soft, and her voice was more beautiful than a chorus of angels.

Then it shattered.

“Hello there,” Weiss breathed, snaking a hand down Ruby’s side. If she cared that her lips were covered in a mixture of her own and Ruby’s saliva, she didn’t show it. “Someone’s excited.”

“Yeah,” Ruby squeaked. She let out a strained “nngh” as Weiss palmed her arousal through the thin fabric of her boyshorts. 

She couldn’t decide what she wanted. She was panicking inside, disgusted with herself but not disgusted enough to tell Weiss to stop. This was going to be it, Ruby realized. This is how it would happen. Weiss would touch her and it was going to escalate further and further until the two of them were naked and grinding. Ruby could see it all too clearly: the concealed look of revulsion on Fantasy-Weiss’s face as her slick hand slid up and down Ruby’s length, the single moment of overt disgust she wouldn’t be able to hide as Ruby spilled across her stomach, the false reassurances afterward that she had liked it.

Ruby moaned, queasy with desire, and clutched Weiss tight against her chest. Weiss writhed in her grip, rubbing her body against Ruby as though she wanted to push into her, to occupy the same space as one.

“Closer,” Weiss mumbled. “I want you. I’m never letting go, I want to squeeze the two of us together and never let go.”

“Weiss,” Ruby whimpered. An elegant hand squeezed her package, flooding Ruby’s brain with endorphins. She was almost gone, lost in Weiss’s touch, her tongue, her lips. She was going to drown in it. “I wanna-”

Weiss screamed. She flailed her legs, still laced with Ruby’s, dragging the two of them onto the floor with a _thud._ Panic shot through Ruby like lightning. She’d ruined everything somehow, done something wrong and spoiled the moment, and by extension, her entire relationship.

“Spider!” Weiss cried out. Ruby blinked and followed Weiss’s shaking, pointed finger. Sure enough, there was a spider on the bed, a wolf spider almost half as big as Weiss’s small hands. “It touched my foot! Ruby, kill it!”

“Are you kidding?” Ruby winced. “Do you think I transitioned because I’m a girl inside or something? I only took hormones and changed my name and everything _specifically_ so I wouldn’t have to deal with bugs!” Hopefully her sarcasm landed. She had a habit of coming across as sincere with her deadpan delivery. To be fair, she _really_ didn’t want to deal with this.

“It’s fitting, then, that you’re a _pussy!”_ Weiss quipped, not taking her eyes off the spider.

 _Weiss really cursed_ just _to tell me off._ “Wow, okay.”

A knock at the door startled both of them, provoking another shrill scream from Weiss. “I don’t want to pry,” Blake said, her voice muffled through the door, “but I have four good ears, and I heard screaming.”

Weiss’s face turned pink. Ruby’s mouth hung open.

“I’ll take care of the spider for you two as a favor,” Blake said. “Pay you back for picking up my weed, if you’re cool with that.”

Ruby swallowed. “That’d be super duper great thank you Blake you’re the best ever!”

“Ruby!” Weiss whispered, swatting her shoulder. “She’s going to see-”

“Gimme a minute to grab a glass and some paper,” Blake called through the door. Footsteps headed towards the kitchen. 

“Quickly!” Weiss hissed, shoving Ruby’s hoodie into her hands. “Make yourself presentable!” She stood, brushing at her wrinkled clothes.

Ruby had barely wormed her way back into her hoodie when Blake knocked again, entering the room a couple moments later. She shoved her hands into her pockets, covering up the bulge in her recently pulled up skirt. “H-hey, Blake.”

Blake looked the two of them up and down. “Not sure why you’re afraid of a spider bite, considering all those-”

“Could this _be_ any more humiliating?” Weiss whined.

Blake chuckled dryly. “Relax. I don’t need to heckle you for your hickeys.”

“Blake!” Ruby wanted to hide her face, but she didn’t dare move her arms.

Blake smirked. The malicious expression looked more than a little _off_ on the quiet Faunus’s face. “Where’s this spider, now?”

Weiss pointed at the bed. Fearlessly, Blake caught the spider in a glass, slipped a piece of paper underneath, and left to release it outside. She nodded goodbye, her cat ears flicking back as she did so, and she closed the door with her foot.

“She’s going to tell Yang, isn’t she?” Weiss said. It wasn’t a question. Her voice was monotone, defeated.

“Doesn’t really matter if she does or not,” Ruby said. “You can’t wear a scarf or turtleneck around the apartment. Yang’s gonna see the hickeys eventually.”

“Your sister is going to kill me.” Weiss slumped to the floor. “She’s gonna take one look at your neck and then she’s gonna murder me, Ruby!”

“Probably not!” Ruby chirped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is OOC because she would totally take care of the spider for Weiss. However, I have said that exact phrase to my boyfriend IRL, and it's a big enough mood that I couldn't resist including it.
> 
> Also, I'm not gonna stop cockblocking Weiss until she's dazed and desperate. Poor girl. At least she's not full of dysphoria and internalized transphobia, like Ruby. Gee, I wonder if Weiss's thirst and Ruby's self-loathing are going to come into conflict...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: awkward conversations

Weiss woke with the rising sun. 

She hadn’t been planning on it, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Weiss was fond of quiet mornings and the gentle light of dawn. After scanning her bed for another spidery surprise and finding none, she took a moment just to breathe in the cool morning air coming from her window and let herself sink back into her mattress.

Weiss was tired. Despite that, she knew she wouldn’t be able to drift off back to sleep, no matter how desperately she wanted to.

At least she could take it easy. Nobody else in the RWBY apartment woke up early if they could help it -- Blake was a night owl and prone to catnapping in the early morning sunbeams, Yang valued her beauty sleep, and Ruby was still, technically, a growing girl, and needed lots of rest to offset the energy consumption of hormone replacement therapy. All of this meant nothing but good things for Weiss; she had the whole apartment to herself until the afternoon. She could brew herself some coffee without running the risk of revealing her hickeys to Yang.

Coffee could wait, though. Weiss’s bed was comfortable, and she was fond of the view on the other side of the room. Ruby snored softly, her face pressed against her pillow, a line of drool dripping from her mouth. Her sleep mask had been pushed up her face as she tossed and turned, mussing her hair into even more of a mess than usual. She still had one headphone over an ear. Weiss wondered if it was still playing whatever music Ruby listened to as she drifted off to sleep or if her girlfriend had remembered to set her sleep timer. 

Weiss slipped silently from her bed, the memory foam of her mattress holding an imprint of her body behind. She padded into the living room, around the counter to the kitchen, and turned on the coffee machine, cringing as it whirred to life. A few moments later and she was seated on the couch, the pleather creaking under her weight, a cup of coffee warming her ever-frigid fingers. A plume of steam rose from her beverage. Weiss inhaled it, eyes closed. She relished the moment of calm.

“Sup?”

“Everything is lovely,” Weiss hummed. She took a sip of coffee. Once the caffeine entered her system, her eyes snapped open. “Yang?!?”

“Been here this whole time,” Yang said, her voice full of mirth. “I was wondering when you’d notice me, Snowflake.”

“What are you-”

“Doing up so early?” Yang smirked. She stretched her arms over her head, the plastic of her prosthetic clicking. “I went for a run. Nobody else is out there before the sun comes up, so I don’t gotta wear a mask.”

“That… makes sense,” Weiss admitted. “Would you like a seat on the couch? The old armchair is falling apart.”

“That’s why I’m sitting in it,” Yang said. “Don’t wanna get sweat on the couch.”

“You haven’t showered yet?!”

“I’m workin’ up the motivation.”

“Let me get this straight.” Weiss took a sip of coffee. “You have the motivation to go for a run before 7:00 AM, but not to take a shower afterward?”

“Yep.” Yang popped the _p._

“O...kay. Don’t let me keep you.”

“You’re not.”

The room fell into awkward silence. Weiss took a sip of coffee. She liked the quiet of the mornings, how soothing and relaxing it could be. This was not the same sort of quiet. 

Yang sighed. “Weiss, can we talk?”

Weiss’s veins filled with ice. “Yes?”

“C’mon, Snowflake, nothing to be afraid of.” Yang’s eyes glittered. “I’m not gonna give you the whole overprotective big sister spiel. You and Rubes are both adults, I’m not gonna judge you for your black ‘n blue necktie.”

Weiss pinkened. “Is that something people actually call-”

“I think so?” Yang shrugged. “It sounded cleverer in my head.”

“I see.”

“I’d give you a high five, gettin’ some, but you’re too far away,” Yang mused. “If I toss you my arm, would you high five it for me?”

“Wh-” Before Weiss could react, Yang’s prosthetic landed on the couch next to her with a _thump._ Weiss blinked, neurons firing as quickly as they could this early in the morning, and after a pregnant moment of indecision, she set her coffee on the floor. She picked up Yang’s prosthetic, gently slapped her palm against it, and tossed it back to Yang. It landed at her feet, but Yang let it lay there for a moment, rubbing the exposed skin of what remained of her right arm.

“I don’t know what you got up to last night,” Yang sighed, not looking up from her arm. “That’s none of my business, obviously.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ coming.”

Yang rolled her eyes. “I’m getting there. Let me wrap up all my disclaimers first. I just wanna make sure Rubes is alright, you feel me?”

“I do,” Weiss said. She took a sip of coffee. “Winter was very overprotective of me when I was younger. I’m very glad Ruby and I aren’t quarantining with her.”

“Bet Winter wouldn’t high-five Rubes for smoochin’ you up, huh?”

Weiss chuckled. “I’m glad we’re friends, Yang.”

Yang beamed. Her smile was blindingly bright. It reminded Weiss of Ruby. “Me too, Snowflake!” She bent down and grabbed her arm, reattaching it to her body. She flexed her artificial fingers, the neurons in her brain reconnecting to the high-tech machinery inside the prosthetic. “And that’s why I’m cool about you and Rubes. I know you can treat her right.”

“I promise,” Weiss said honestly.

Yang snorted. “Don’t tell me, tell _her_. Not my business, remember?”

A shiver ran up Weiss’s spine. “R-right. Is this the part where you say ‘but’?”

“Be patient,” Yang sighed. “This is the part where I ask you how Ruby’s doing. We both know her, how she’ll put everyone else first, grin and bear whatever burden she thinks is hers to carry.” Yang crossed her legs. “She hasn’t been doing that with you, I hope.”

“I don’t think so?” Weiss said, but it came out as a question. “I- I should keep an eye out, make sure she’s not pushing herself for me, or-”

“‘S just something to think about.” Yang waved an arm. “You can’t read her mind, Weiss. Make sure she’s okay for me, okay? I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Weiss’s fingers brushed her collarbone. “Like, bruised?”

“Emotionally, Weiss. Duh.”

“Oh.”

“Now _here_ is where I go all overprotective big sister.” Yang smiled mirthlessly. Her shoulders tensed. “So, like, look. You’re both adults, I get that, but Ruby’s still my baby sister. I might’ve been fooling around when I was sixteen, so I’m not one to judge or anything, but I’m cis. So are you, Weiss.”

“So…?”

“So you gotta be careful with her,” Yang said. “Being queer can fuck with you. God knows it fucked with me, and I didn’t even have to deal with gender fuckery.”

“I understand!” Weiss perked up. “I completely understand you. You know I didn’t exactly have a queer-friendly childhood. I… It sounds stupid, but I almost feel like I’m going through developments now that I should’ve gone through as a teenager. You said you were sixteen when-”

“I was an early bloomer,” Yang interrupted, her prosthetic clicking as she flapped her hand dismissively. “But you don’t sound stupid. Just think about how that applies to Ruby for a second. You’re smart, you can figure it out.”

Weiss thought for a moment. “...She’s also developing late?”

“She’s literally going through puberty a second time,” Yang said. “Her early twenties are basically gonna be her teens. If she’s anything like me, she’s self-conscious as shit.”

“You were self-conscious as a teenager?” Weiss’s jaw dropped. “But you’re- and you have-” Weiss held her hands up to her chest awkwardly.

Yang snorted. “Like I said, early bloomer. I’ve had time.”

“Ah.”

“So here’s the thing, Weiss,” Yang said. Weiss tensed. It wasn’t often Yang addressed her without a nickname. “We’re all in this quarantine together. If you hurt Ruby, she can’t exactly get some space.” Yang sighed, pressing prosthetic fingers against her forehead. “It’s a sticky, shitty situation we’re stuck in for the foreseeable future, and I know you’re a thirsty bitch, but for everyone’s sanity, _please_ think ahead before doing anything stupid with my baby sister. I’m putting this as delicately as I can.”

“You’re being very delicate,” Weiss affirmed. She took a calculated drink of coffee, hoping that the steam would explain her humiliated blush.

“I know, I know, I’m a hypocrite,” Yang rolled her eyes with calculated nonchalance. Weiss could see her shoulders rise and fall as she took a deep breath. “Maybe you can hear me and Blake through the walls sometimes, but if I ever hear you deflowering a Rose…” She let the threat hang unspoken in the air, vague and undefined.

“Yes ma’am,” Weiss said. Then, because that was too formal: “I’ll make sure you never hear it.”

Yang stared.

“Just a little joke. Don’t hurt me.”

Yang snorted. “I’m not gonna hurt you, drama queen. Just be careful with our li’l flower girl, ‘kay? Rose’s got thorns. Or, well, _a_ thorn-”

“Yang!”

“She wants to get de-thorned, don’t ‘at’ me!”

“How can you talk about your _sister_ like-”

“It’s a thorn because it can hurt _her,_ Weiss,” Yang snapped, her lavender eyes dark and serious, boring into Weiss’s own. Her gaze softened. “That being said, I can see why you freaked, thinkin’ of a thorn and getting _pricked.”_

Weiss groaned.

“Oh, and Weiss?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t get her with those vampire bites. I don’t…” Yang trailed off, furrowing her brows at Weiss’s guilty expression. Yang pinched her nose between prosthetic fingers. “She’s already covered in hickeys, isn’t she?”

Weiss swallowed audibly.

Yang wrinkled her nose. “It’s fine. It’s fine! Nothing Blake ‘n I haven’t put Rubes through. God, I’m such a hypocrite.”

“I’m sorry?” Weiss tried. She hoped her smile didn’t look forced.

“Not your fault. I mean, it _is,_ but you’re not at fault.” Yang shook her head. “Just not something I wanna see.”

“Understandable.” Weiss nodded. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good.” Yang straightened. Her eyes gleamed deviously. “Unless she’s into it, in which case, I owe ya another high-fiverino.”

“Yang!” Weiss rolled her eyes.

“What? We’re friends first, Weissicle. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t support you gettin’ some? You were _such_ a prude when we first met.”

Weiss was torn between denying it and claiming she was, in fact, still a prude. She settled facepalming instead.

“There we go,” Yang said. She rose to her feet, stretching her arms above her head with a growl. “Good talk. Glad we got this out of the way and could still joke around. Think I’ll go take my shower now, don’t think it’ll wake Blake or Rubes.”

“Good talk,” Weiss said weakly. 

A few moments after she heard the shower turn on, Weiss downed the rest of her coffee and tossed the mug in the sink. She took a deep breath, debating if she was really going to just leave it there or do her job and wash it out like a good roommate. 

She cleared her throat. It would be a symbolic gesture, cleaning up her own mess. She was a good roommate, or, at the very least, an acceptable one. She could treat Ruby with the kindness of which she was worthy. 

Once the mug was clean and placed back in the cupboard, Weiss cracked her neck and padded slowly back to her room. She had yet to ruin her quarantine schedule, and she wasn’t going to screw it up today. She was going to do some stretches and exercise, take a shower if Yang left any hot water for her, and journal. Perhaps, after all of that was done, Ruby might be awake. As stupid as it sounded to her, Weiss missed her high-octane antics, no matter how much she enjoyed her quiet mornings.

* * *

“Weiss?” Ruby asked, pulling away from their kiss. “You’re acting weird.”

“Me? Weird? Pfft,” Weiss laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re the weird one, dolt.”

“Okay, I _am,_ but even so, you’re a little off. You’re not normally this quiet when we make out.”

“I’m not?” A bead of sweat ran down the back of Weiss’s neck. “Maybe I’m just getting used to all of this so I’m a little less vocal. It’s no big deal.”

“Okay,” Ruby said in such a way that it was clear she didn’t entirely believe her. She pulled her into another kiss, deeper than all that had proceeded it that afternoon. Weiss tried not to moan as Ruby hummed, tangling her hands in Weiss’s hair. The walls weren’t _that_ thin, but it was more on principle at that point.

Lord, she hadn’t expected Ruby to try and prove her wrong. She wasn’t going to make it. Not with the way Ruby’s lips kneaded against her own, the sweet sound of Ruby’s faux-innocent hum as she teased Weiss with her tongue, the delicious sting as she tugged on her hair. She trailed her free hand down Weiss’s back before brushing softly against her rear. Weiss shivered, pressing into the touch.

Ruby had never been quite so forward before. Perhaps Yang’s aggressive, if helpful advice wasn’t as applicable as Weiss had thought. She was perfectly fine with letting Ruby push their boundaries, slowly but surely. She tried not to focus on the heat coiling in her stomach when she realized that she would let Ruby do anything to her. It made her feel dirty, too easy and too slutty, but to her surprise, the feeling was less uncomfortable than it had been before. It was almost arousing. _Hot._

Ruby’s hand squeezed gently against Weiss’s butt, tentative and exploratory, but Weiss was so wound up she couldn’t help but moan from her chest. She hadn’t expected to feel like she was on fire, her skin tingling underneath her leggings where Ruby had touched her. She wanted to feel that again without anything between them, see if her skin was blushing red like she’d been burned.

“I knew it!” Ruby smirked against Weiss’s lips. “I bet you’re a screamer, Weiss.”

Weiss covered her face in her hands. “Ruby!”

“So why’re you holding back?” Ruby asked smugly, sitting back on her haunches. “Is somebody embarrassed ‘cause of all the hickeys? You don’t wanna be any more obvious than we already are?”

“It’s nothing!” Weiss snapped. She’d never blushed like this before in her life. She practically looked sunburnt from her shoulders to her scalp. “K-keep touching me. Please?”

“If you like,” Ruby said. She ran a finger down Weiss’s arm, tracing the soft, creamy skin. A devious expression flashed across her face. “Do you have somewhere in mind?”

Lord in Heaven. This girl was going to be the death of her.

“Gotta say,” Ruby smiled, “feeling damn proud of myself. Can’t believe I got you so horny you can’t even talk.”

Weiss glared at her through her splayed fingers. “I- hnnf.”

Ruby laughed. It was the most beautiful sound Weiss had ever heard. “C’mon, tell me.”

“T-touch my rear again,” Weiss whispered, humiliated. “Please?”

“You liked it?”

 _Yes._ “I don’t know yet.”

“Tell you what,” Ruby smirked. The smug expression reminded Weiss of Yang, but she pushed the thought from her mind. She wasn’t going to think about her girlfriend’s sister, not now. “You tell me why you’re trying to be quiet, and I’ll touch your butt again.”

Weiss whined.

 _“And_ I’ll take off my top.” Ruby leaned forward, exposing a hint of cleavage. “I know how much you like my boobs.”

“Boobs,” Weiss echoed, her throat dry. She swallowed. “Okay.” 

Weiss couldn’t meet Ruby’s eyes. She was able to catch a glimpse here and there as she spoke, briefly recounting her conversation with Yang half the day ago. Slowly, she noticed Ruby’s expression fade and harden into something unrecognizable.

And then it was gone. Or, at least, Weiss thought so. She was rather distracted by Ruby’s bare breasts. _Christ,_ she was lecherous, staring openly at Ruby’s chest like that, just like the cocky dickhead men in Yang’s party stories, or the catcallers Blake so despised. Even so, she couldn’t bring herself to stop, look away for just a moment to meet Ruby’s eyes. 

Well, if she was going to act like a pervert, she might as well enjoy it.

If Weiss was lucky, which she was not, Yang wouldn’t hear her excited squealing as Ruby pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing Weiss’s head against her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we’re officially halfway done. It’s not going to get any easier, I’m afraid. Trouble’s been brewing for quite some time now, but it’s about to be out in the open...


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: confrontation, sexual fantasy of mild breathplay, love bites, and dom/sub

“Yang.”

“Ruby?”

For such a small apartment, it had taken Ruby all day to find Yang. Granted, it hadn’t helped that she’d slept in ‘till noon after staying up too late on her phone (she _totally_ wasn’t snooping on Blake’s AO3, no way!) but even so, Yang was a hard woman to find. Ruby had planned on paying her a visit over lunch (well, breakfast for Ruby) but Yang had been in the middle of an unreasonably long shower. Afterwards, she didn’t reemerge from the room she shared with Blake for hours, even when hints of pale white smoke seeped from underneath the door.

Of the four of them, Yang was the most accomplished cook. It wasn’t much of a competition; Weiss had barely made a cup of ramen noodles in her life before moving in with Ruby, who did it for her often, but most anything beyond mac and cheese was beyond the younger girl. Blake had never expressed much interest in the culinary arts as a child, and her parents, lenient as ever, had never pushed her to give it a shot. 

Yang, on the other hand, had learned from the best. Nobody got as fit as she did without a proper diet to support all that muscle, after all. She’d experienced that firsthand growing up as the eldest daughter of a middle school gym teacher. The little she remembered from Summer certainly didn’t hurt, either. Being able to bake cookies for Ruby had salvaged many a bad day.

This was why Ruby found Yang bustling about the kitchen as the orange evening sunlight shone through the glass door to the balcony. She could smell the tofu sizzling on the skillet, the salty scent of soy sauce, and hear Yang humming _I Burn_ to herself off-key as a completely different song played over the speakers.

Ruby grimaced. She almost felt sorry about what she was going to do before chiding herself. _You're allowed to have boundaries, Ruby._

“Why’d you give Weiss the big sister talk?” Ruby snapped.

“Ruby…”

“I’m a grown-ass woman, Yang!” Ruby resisted the urge to stomp her foot childishly. “Do you have any idea how humiliating that is?”

Yang looked up from her skillet. The tofu sizzled. It smelled so good Ruby almost forgot to pay attention to her words. “No matter how old you get, you’ll always be my baby sister.”

“I’d accept _little_ sister,” Ruby corrected, scoffing with mock offense, or perhaps real offense. She couldn’t quite tell. “I’m younger and smaller than you, but I am _not_ a baby!”

Yang flipped over a piece of tofu she was frying with her spatula. Her eyebrows knit. “I know.”

“You aren’t _acting_ like it.” Ruby crossed her arms. “I’m _twenty._ If we were still in high school, I might get this, but now? Really?”

Yang sighed. 

“Don’t you sigh at me!” Ruby snapped.

“Ruby-”

“Don’t you _Ruby_ me either.” Ruby pouted. She breathed in sharply through her nose, wishing she could relish the smell of Yang’s cooking, but it just made her angrier. “Just- just listen, okay?”

“I just wanted to-”

“-make sure I’m okay,” Ruby finished. She rolled her eyes. “You’re a hypocrite, you know that, right? You were in high school messing around and now I’m an adult in a perfectly healthy relationship and you just- just- I don’t know what you expected to happen, Yang!”

Yang cocked her head. She breathed in, as if about to shout, but deflated instead, choosing her words carefully. “I wanted Weiss to know-”

“-to know what?” Ruby spat.

“You’d know if you let me finish,” Yang growled, her grip on her spatula tightening. “I don’t want her to hurt you. She hasn’t known you as long as I have, she doesn’t how bad you were before-”

“She’s known me long enough,” Ruby said savagely. “I thought you did too.”

“Ruby Rose!”

“Being trans doesn’t mean hating yourself and hating your body,” Ruby said. “I’m not fragile. I’m not in danger. If anything, you should’ve been warning Weiss to be careful after seeing all her hickeys. Hell, you should’ve given me the _treat her careful_ talk like dad would’ve given to me when I was sixteen if I hadn’t been such a loner.”

Yang stood still for a moment. She flipped another slice of tofu. Her knuckles were white.

Ruby bristled. “Got anything to say for yourself?”

Yang nodded. For a moment, she did not speak. Then, with a great deal of caution and a thick crease between her eyebrows: “Being trans doesn’t mean hating your body, I know. I know _you_ though, Ruby. And I know how much you hate your body.”

“I don’t hate my body,” Ruby lied. “Look at me. You’re the one telling me you’ve known me a long time. It used to be so much worse than this!”

“I know,” Yang said. How she could stay so intolerably calm at that moment, Ruby couldn’t understand. Some small part of her brain remembered Yang’s anger management therapy the year she lost her arm, but Ruby squashed it, gritting her teeth. Yang could say whatever the hell she wanted. “I’m not blind, Ruby, and you’re not subtle.”

“Hey!”

“It’s better now,” Yang said. She waved her prosthetic hand dismissively, plastic clicking as she flipped another piece of sizzling tofu with her flesh-and-blood left hand. “You’re not _cured._ I know how you have good days and bad days with your body image, sis. You might not _hate_ your body, but dressing up to make yourself feel better is kind of obvious as far as healthy coping goes, you feel me?”

It was, Ruby agreed. More than that, she knew Yang was, on some level, factually correct, and that just pissed her off more. The mere fact that Ruby was standing in her own home while tucked as tightly as she could manage was evidence in and of itself. Inside, Ruby seethed. Out loud, all she said was “whatever.”

“I know you. I’m your big sister,” Yang said. “I know you love Weiss. You want to make her happy. You just have a habit of putting others first, but if you do something for Weiss that you aren’t ready for-”

“Shut up!” Ruby snapped. “Why’re you telling me this now? Why now? Why didn’t you come to me first and leave Weiss out of it, then?”

“I-”

“You just wanted to be the big sister for me now because you never got the chance when we were kids.” Ruby’s face was hot. “You wanted to embarrass me in front of my girlfriend instead of just fucking talking to me like a grown-up!”

Yang broke. She rolled her eyes, the muscles of her jaw flexing in irritation. “Oh, come _on,_ Ruby, you know that’s not true.”

“It is!” Ruby insisted. It might not have been her intentions, she knew, on some logical level. At that moment, as far as Ruby was concerned emotionally, it didn’t matter. “It’s quarantine. You’re stuck inside all day and embarrassing your little baby sister is quality entertainment, isn’t it?”

“Sorry for _caring_ about you, I guess.”

“Treating me like a helpless child is a pretty shitty way of caring.”

Yang’s eyes glimmered. She angrily flipped another piece of tofu, nearly missing the skillet. It sizzled, droplets of oil leaping into the air and staining the kitchen counter. “You’re just mad I’m right.”

Ruby’s eyes widened. She stared at the smug smile tugging at the edge of Yang’s lips. Part of her wanted to say “the fuck?” Another wanted to say “about fucking what?” Mostly, though, she just wanted to say “fuck you,” because, about Ruby’s body image, Yang was inarguably right. 

She said none of these things. Her stomach dropped, as if she were falling. She was nearly dizzy. If Yang was right, she had behaved with ordinary rationality by reminding Weiss of it, and Ruby had no right to get angry. The edges of her vision blurred with tears. She wasn’t wrong, wasn’t getting upset over nothing like an oversensitive, stupid baby. Yang had humiliated her! She had no right!

What she wound up saying, her voice cold and shaking, was: “You know what, Yang? I think you’re just trying to be the opposite of Raven. At least _she_ didn’t threaten your first boyfriend when you were still a kid and had an excuse.” 

Yang’s eyes flared. “Don’t compare me to-”

“You can have my serving of tofu,” Ruby said coldly, stomping towards the bathroom. She needed a moment away from everyone. She needed a hot shower. Enough to slough her skin from her bones. “I don’t want it anymore. Don’t even try and force me to eat your cooking, _mom._ ”

“Ruby-!”

She slammed the door harder than she should have and regretted it immediately. She pressed her back against the bathroom door, slowly sliding to the cold tile floor. She could barely make out Yang’s groan of frustration.

“Fuck,” Ruby whimpered, holding her face in her hands.

Fuck, why had she had to go _there?_ Of all the things to say, all the people to mention, Raven Branwen? Yang was lucky to hear from her biological mother on her goddamn _birthday._ Ruby banged the back of her head against the door. Yang probably would have killed to have Raven care about her enough to threaten her date. Hell, she’d basically lost two mothers, with how absent Raven was from her life and how close she’d grown to Summer, her stepmother, before she’d passed. Jesus Christ, what had Ruby done?

She growled under her breath, slammed her hands against the cold tile. It reminded her of Weiss. There was no way she was going out there to apologize. Ruby was well within her rights to get pissed off, wasn’t she? Just because she lived with her older sister didn’t mean she was allowed to butt into her relationship, despite the hickeys on her throat. She was a grown woman, for fuck’s sake! Not some house of cards ready to collapse if Weiss touched her the wrong way.

Ruby tore off her clothes as quickly as she could. As it turned out, trying to wriggle out of her thick dysphoria hoodie like that only caused it to get tangled up around her head and shoulders, prompting another wail of frustration. As she wormed her way out of her top, she knew that it would’ve been faster if she’d just taken it off calmly, and that only pissed her off more.

Ruby hated going slow. She was also an engineer and autistic. She _hated_ inefficiency.

Once her clothes were off, Ruby briefly regretted it. She nearly turned off the bathroom lights to shower in the dark, but decided against it. A broken neck wouldn’t improve her body image. Besides, the only way Ruby could describe death by slipping in the shower was _weaksauce._ Nora would have only cried at Ruby’s subsequent funeral from laughing at her too hard. Thus, Ruby left the lights on, no matter how badly she wanted to ignore her body. That, and she couldn’t possibly die without apologizing to Yang. Or getting an apology from Yang. She wasn’t quite sure on that yet.

She didn’t sing in the shower, but she must have found something to occupy herself, for she didn’t come out until long after dinner.

* * *

Weiss knew she shouldn’t be doing this. In her defense, she’d sort of stumbled into it by accident, but that didn’t change just how fucked up this was. She pushed a pair of fingers deeper inside her quaking core, biting down on the corner of her pillow. She couldn’t stop now, could she?

The last thing she’d expected while fantasizing was to hear Ruby shouting, muffled by the tightly-shut door. That, and the fact that in that instant, her brain had latched onto it and twisted her fantasies.

Weiss thumbed at her clit, biting back a gasp. The various situations in which she had imagined herself and Ruby were always gentle. Perhaps not completely wholesome or intimate, but they were always slow and innocent. If Fantasy-Ruby wasn’t explicitly slow and soft and caring, she was at least smooth and suave, confident and in charge, working Weiss with slow, expert precision until she burst and came with a scream.

In all the time she’d known her, Weiss had never seen Ruby angry. Not well and truly _pissed_. She’d seen Ruby irate, indignant, and infuriated, but she’d barely heard a hint of vitriol in her voice. Now, from what she could hear beyond the door, Ruby was callous, almost vindictive. She couldn’t make out one word from another, but her tone was enough. Privately, Weiss wondered if she had some deep-seated issues she didn’t know about, or if just how turned on Ruby’s voice had made her was a one-time thing.

Her fantasy had been perfectly normal when it began. At least, Weiss assumed so, not knowing what to compare it to. However, based on her brief exposure to pornography before realizing that _no,_ this was _not_ informative at all, and also rougher and more intense than anything Weiss was prepared for, she assumed oral sex wasn’t quite the taboo she had thought. She had squirmed on top of her heavy gray comforter, a hand shoved desperately into her leggings, imagining that, perhaps, instead of fingers, it was Ruby’s tongue slithering between her thighs.

Fantasy-Ruby teased her all the while. She chuckled, big silver eyes staring up at Weiss, her nose pressed against her mound. Her breath was hot and steady and made Weiss shiver in all the right places. The corners of her eyes crinkled upwards. It was as much as Weiss could see of her devious little smile.

Then, as she heard the anger in Real-World Ruby’s voice, that smile turned from devious to devilish.

 _You’ve been so pathetic for me, Princess,_ Fantasy-Ruby chuckled, straddling Weiss out of nowhere. _So obedient, so easy, just laying there for me. Don’t you think I’d like a turn?_

Weiss whimpered. Her eyes squeezed shut, her vision replaced with a fantasy almost as vivid. She could almost smell Fantasy-Ruby’s sweat, her rose-scented perfume, feel her arousal wet against her belly.

 _I think it’s about time I get what I want,_ Fantasy-Ruby growled. She bit into Weiss’s throat, harder than any love bite she’d ever felt before. When Fantasy-Ruby pulled back, still wearing that devilish grin, Weiss could see red stains along her pointed teeth. The sight sent another rush of tingling arousal to her core. She squeezed her thighs together, baffled at why this was so fucking _hot,_ yet desperate for more.

 _I’m going to use you, Princess,_ Fantasy-Ruby said. She clambered forward until her dripping cunt was just over Weiss’s lips, straight out of the one intense video Weiss hadn’t been able to click away from. Christ, she could smell Fantasy-Ruby’s arousal, almost taste the salty tang of her essence. _If you’re a good girl, maybe I’ll let you breathe._

And, just like that, Fantasy-Ruby was grinding against Fantasy-Weiss’s lips, smothering her in delicious ambrosia. Weiss choked on her own saliva, clenching her toes as she pumped her fingers in and out of her body more and more desperately. She could faintly make out Real-World Ruby’s shouting, but it turned into Fantasy-Ruby’s sadistic moans of pleasure. 

_Harder, Princess,_ Fantasy-Ruby growled, tugging at Weiss’s hair until it stung. She forced her cunt harder against Weiss’s open lips, her tongue, drenching her lower face in her arousal. Weiss’s long, pointed nose was squished beneath Ruby’s mound, buried in wild black curls. She couldn’t breathe through her nose, couldn’t open her mouth to gasp for breath without kissing and sucking and licking at Ruby’s core. Her hand slowly stilled, halfway inside herself, as she focused more and more on pleasing Ruby, her mind empty. 

Fantasy-Ruby lifted herself up for a moment and Weiss gasped for air. She opened her eyes, watched the darkness around the edges fade, and before she could finish catching her breath, Ruby yanked her by the hair and rolled her hips, smearing arousal across Weiss’s open lips. She arched her back, staring down at Weiss’s panicked expression. _That’s all the downtime you’re getting,_ Ruby mused. Her hair hung down over her face, casting a shadow over her eyes, but they seemed to gleam brighter than usual. _You can breathe when I am satisfied._

Weiss moaned into her pillow. A tear squeezed its way out of the corner of her eye.

She could see it all perfectly in her mind’s eye. Ruby, one hand buried in Weiss’s hair, pinning her beneath her hips as she ground her pussy against Weiss’s face. Her back was arched, but her head was not thrown back in pleasure. Instead, her chin was tucked against her chest, her other hand raised so she could chew her finger to keep from moaning. A light blush covered her cheeks.

It was the hottest thing Weiss had ever imagined. Real-World Ruby shouted again in the other room.

Something was building in her core. Weiss could feel heat like liquid gold coiling in her guts, light radiating in her body. It was growing, spreading to the tips of her toes, tingling in her pert nipples, pins and needles in her fingertips. Weiss held her breath, the tendons of her arm flexing in effort as she tried to bring herself over the edge, imagining every detail on Ruby’s face as she ate her out as passionately as she could.

She groaned, doubling her efforts in vain. She was so _close._ Her body ached for relief, always a moment out of reach.

It wasn’t until then that Weiss remembered one small, teensy-weensy fact about her girlfriend. She didn’t usually forget Ruby was trans, but it had happened before a couple of times--most notably the occasions when Weiss had asked a particularly ornery Ruby if she was on her period and when she’d advised Ruby to inquire about a test for cervical cancer with her doctor, just to be safe. While her fantasy could very easily be Ruby after bottom surgery, gears started turning in Weiss’s head, heedless of conscious thought.

Ruby couldn’t exactly sit on her face with her current anatomy, unfortunately, but hell if that was going to stop Weiss. The scene shifted to something more familiar before Weiss could think of how or why. Ruby’s naked body, pressed against her own, holding her up by the throat even as every instinct in Weiss’s body demanded she press her face against her pillow and weakly raise her hips.

Some continuity of her previous fantasy remained. Weiss’s throat was still marked with crimson where Fantasy-Ruby had bitten her, staining the hand she kept tight around Weiss’s neck. Ruby’s smile, fittingly, was still broad and equally red, just as devilish as before, if not even moreso. She breathed into Weiss’s ear as she thrust into Weiss’s drenched pussy, her breasts against her back, her cock sheathed to the hilt.

Beyond the door, Real-World Ruby shouted one last time, and Weiss felt a twinge of guilt. What would she think if she knew what was going on in her depraved mind? Would Ruby even want to fuck her like this? Certainly not so rough, so aggressive and sadistic-

Her thoughts were banished as Fantasy-Ruby surprised her with a graceless thrust, fingers tightening around her throat. _Oh, Princess, you’re not getting off easy,_ Ruby condescended. She pressed her free hand against the small of Weiss’s back, forcing her to arch it even further with a pitiful whimper. _I told you, you can breathe when I am satisfied._

She imagined it, then. What it would be like when Fantasy-Ruby finally _was_ satisfied. Weiss had no idea what it would feel like--would Ruby throb inside her? Would it be warm? Hot? Sticky? All Weiss knew was that by that point, she would be seeing stars as Ruby pounded into her, black dots at the edges of her vision. Ruby’s fingers left imprints on her throat. She imagined herself giving in to the overwhelming sensation, letting the pleasure flow through her. Maybe she’d be drooling at that point, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, maybe even crying at the intensity of it, mascara staining her cheeks black. She imagined herself cumming in tandem with Ruby, basking in the afterglow as she gasped for air, cherishing Ruby’s little whimpers as her dominatrix energy slipped away.

_...Damnation!_

Weiss sighed, collapsing to her bed. She had been _so fucking close,_ goddamn it! She groaned into her pillow, both hands clenched into fists. Why was life so unfair? She was a decent fucking person! She deserved her orgasm!

She would’ve gotten off if it had been real, Weiss decided. She couldn’t keep herself away from Ruby’s body forever, could she? She was practically gagging for it. She had admitted just how thirsty she was to herself, had accepted it as a fact of life. 

Surely it wasn’t guilt holding her back, was it? God, her filthy mind… She couldn’t help but wonder how she was going to look her reflection in the eye after imagining something that fucked up, getting off on Ruby being mean and rough with her. It felt so _wrong,_ but it felt so _good,_ Weiss couldn't make heads or tails of it. She couldn’t do that in real life with her girlfriend! No choking, no biting her bloody, no bending her over and banging her stupid. Unless…

“Fuck,” Weiss said. Her voice was gravelly and hoarse. She needed a shower before dinner, but she could hear the water flowing in the pipes; somebody else was already in there. She flopped back on her bed, laying in her own sweat, and groaned.

Would Ruby really want her like that? Not _rough,_ but… Perhaps, in a similar position? Maybe if it were real, if she could really feel Ruby’s warm, bare skin against her own, she could finally reach her elusive orgasm. Whether or not Ruby wanted to fuck her with her cock, if it would hurt her or she would be okay with it, Weiss couldn’t hold out much longer. She needed her more desperately than she had needed oxygen as Fantasy-Ruby had choked her. She really _was_ gagging for it, quite literally.

Weiss wanted Ruby. She wanted her soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, awkward conversations, hating on people who play League of Legends, and some lewdness.

Quarantine couldn’t get any worse than this.

The next few days left the RWBY apartment thick with tension. Ruby could almost smell ozone whenever she brushed past Yang in the living room, deliberately avoiding eye contact. It felt like living in a stormcloud. She’d barely seen Blake in all this time, the skittish woman’s natural conflict-avoidant instincts kicking in. As far as Ruby knew, Blake was stoned out of her mind.

Ruby spent as much time as she could in her room, rather than venturing out into the war-torn no man’s land beyond her door. It was as if she was quarantining within her quarantine. Would it shrink further? Would she fall into a depression that would leave her bedridden from sunrise to sunset? There was precedent, Ruby recalled, memories of her high school days flashing in her mind.

At least she had Weiss. Unfortunately, that was almost as much a curse as it was a blessing. 

The longer she spent in her room, the more chances Weiss had to make a move on her. Ruby couldn’t tell if Weiss noticed how often she was tucking these days, cruelly reminded of her anatomical inadequacies whenever Weiss cuddled up a little too close for her. One time Ruby had nearly lost herself resting her chin on her girlfriend’s head, relaxing into the gentle vanilla aroma, only coming to her senses when Weiss had asked her to be the big spoon. Not only did she want to avoid making Weiss uncomfortable with her obvious arousal, but it would have been humiliating. 

As she went to sleep that night, she wondered what would have happened if she’d done so, only to toss and turn with revulsion. Her anxiety spiked, her mind full of imaginary catastrophes. Ruby could see herself pinning Weiss to the bed, kissing up and down her body even as Weiss squirmed and whimpered, not entirely sure if it was pleasurable or overwhelming, too flooded with sensation to voice her feelings. 

Despite her best efforts, Ruby couldn’t entirely put the scene out of her mind. It disgusted her on principle, reminding her of the aggression that came with testosterone in her teenage years. Nothing got under her skin quite the same way. She could remember the way she lost her mind at fourteen more clearly than the blur of the last few weeks in quarantine. For more than half a decade, Ruby had been controlled by her body, rather than the other way around, hating herself as she jacked off in the shower, under her covers, or, in two humiliating shows of weakness, in the men’s bathrooms at Signal in a futile attempt to purge her rampant sexuality. She knew she was thinking with her dick and despised her body for it, but she was ultimately helpless. Ruby would have rather gone into heat like an animal than ever deal with human male puberty again.

Unfortunately, after getting angry at Yang and horny over Weiss, Ruby wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t suffering from testosterone poisoning once again.

So there she sat in her gaming chair, hunched over her keyboard as Weiss lay across her princess-style, her back against one armrest and her feet on the other. She shifted, not-so-subtly pressing her ass against Ruby’s lap.

This was hell. Ruby wanted to scream. She briefly considered redownloading League of Legends--it couldn’t make things worse--but decided against it. She still had a shred of dignity. The first boy Yang had ever dated was way into League. He’d cheated on her three times. Six years later, Ruby still had yet to meet a man who played League who wasn’t a total dick, save for Jaune, but he was garbage at the game, thank God. To be fair, knowing this did explain why he was such a fuckboy when he’d tried to impress Weiss. Even he was not immune to the eldritch corruption of the most toxic gaming community Ruby had ever dipped her toe into.

In her peripheral vision, Ruby could make out Weiss’s subtle pout. She was looking at her phone, but Ruby knew that look. She had learned it after many months of careful study and deliberation. It said _pay attention to me, dolt, but I’m too proud to ask._ As much of a handful as Nora could be for Ren, Ruby sometimes wished Weiss would grab the drawstrings of her hoodie and cinch it tight around her face with a giggle instead of dropping unspoken hints and expecting Ruby’s oblivious autistic ass to pick up on them.

Weiss stretched, her voice squeaking cutely as she yawned. “What’s this game you’re playing?” she asked. Ruby wasn’t entirely convinced she cared. 

“You don’t recognize Minecraft? I’ve been playing this for years.”

“There’s no way this is Minecraft,” Weiss scoffed. She shifted in Ruby’s lap, and Ruby felt a pang of arousal and a pang of shame. “It’s not square enough.”

“I have a lot of mods installed.”

Weiss cocked her head. “Like Skyrim?”

Ruby couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. “Modding games isn’t unique to Skyrim, babe.”

“Like I would know!” Weiss crossed her arms. “Is ‘mod’ short for ‘modifier’ or something? Like body mods?”

“I, uh, I don’t think so. Body mods are pretty cool, though.”

“Oh, I very much agree,” Weiss said airily. “You’d look delectable with pierced nipples.”

Ruby choked on nothing. She could feel the blood rushing to her face.

“Or an upper thigh tattoo,” she added, as an afterthought. “You know I’m fond of your legs. I can’t deny it.”

“You, uh, yeah,” Ruby said. Her mouth was dry. She should probably pause her game before she messed something up.

“Is there…” Weiss trailed off. Ruby was able to sneak a glance at her without being too conspicuous and noticed that she had a faint blush across the bridge of her nose. It was unfairly cute. “Is there a part of my body you’re particularly fond of?”

“Yeah, uh,” Ruby swallowed. 

“I’m curious,” Weiss said casually. “I know logically that there’s nothing wrong with my desires, but I still can’t quite reconcile that emotionally. I think that maybe knowing you want me as much as I want you will help me internalize this better.”

“I see,” Ruby said, if only to avoid answering the question. “Did you write that up earlier and memorize it?”

“Was I that obvious?” Weiss twisted a strand of ivory hair around her index finger. “I, er, it’s embarrassing. I wanted to ensure I could ask with a straight face-”

“More like a gay f-”

“Ruby Rose,” Weiss snapped, rolling her eyes at her atrocious joke. “What is your favorite part of my body?”

Ruby gulped audibly. “Are you really-”

“Yes!”

“It’s embarrassing,” Ruby whined. She could feel the blush up to her ears by now.

“It’s embarrassing for me too, you know,” Weiss said. “Did I not explain myself well enough? I’m embarrassed and ashamed of my desires and knowing that I’m not the only one would help. Unless…” Weiss trailed off. Her eyes widened. “It’s embarrassing for you because it’s something weird, like my feet or-”

“It’s not your feet!” Ruby paused her game, if only so that she could cover her face. “Not that you have ugly feet or anything, they’re cute, like, petite feet, that rhymes, heh, I-”

“Is this what it was like dating me at first?” Weiss mused. “I must say, it’s nice not being the flustered one for once.”

“Shut your face!” Ruby squealed. Her face had to be as red as the tips of her hair by now. 

“I will when you tell me what your favorite part of my body is,” Weiss shrugged. “Don’t be embarrassed about your desires. Haven’t you told me there’s nothing wrong with wanting you? There’s nothing wrong with wanting me, either.”

 _It’s not the same,_ Ruby wanted to say. She’d spent so many years of her life controlled by her own desires, at the mercy of her libido. If Ruby let her hormones get the best of her, she didn’t know what she would do. She couldn’t allow herself to start thinking with her dick again, she couldn’t! She wanted to get up and run away, stew in her self-loathing somewhere Weiss couldn’t seduce her, but she couldn’t leave her room. Not while she was still fighting with Yang.

“Ruby!” Weiss snapped her fingers in front of Ruby’s nose. “You had better be struggling to pick a favorite instead of hiding.”

Ruby peeked at Weiss through her fingertips. She wanted to sink into the floor.

“Ruby!” Weiss whined. She tugged gently at Ruby’s wrists, shifting in her lap “You’re embarrassing me!”

 _“I’m_ embarrassing _you?”_

“Yes,” Weiss said, as if it should be obvious. She tugged at Ruby’s wrists again and Ruby was able to notice her beet-red face through her splayed fingers. “I feel stupid for asking and vulnerable because _you_ know what I like!”

“That’s fair!”

“Then _tell_ me!”

“Okay! Fine!” Ruby said, flapping her hands in front of her. “Okay. Lemme catch my breath.”

“Okay.”

She took a deep breath, but when Ruby opened her mouth, no sound came out. Slowly, her blush deepened. She squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Ruby! You can’t just-” Weiss blushed. She wriggled on Ruby’s lap in embarrassment, which only made everything worse. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is!”

“Ithinkyouhaveareallycutebuttokay?”

“Pardon?”

“You have a cute butt!” Ruby covered her face with her hands. “I, uh, I like it. A lot.”

“Oh,” Weiss breathed. She blinked. Her eyes flicked downwards, taking careful note of where her rear rested on Ruby’s lap, and Ruby wanted to crawl into a hole and hibernate until the quarantine was over, or for the rest of her natural life, whichever came first. “Ruby?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Do you… Do you want to touch my-”

“Yes please.” Ruby couldn’t look Weiss in the eye. 

Overall, Ruby had to give the entire mortifying experience a solid 10/10, because in the end, it was absolutely worth embarrassing herself for Weiss to guide Ruby’s hand and guide it to the side of her hips, and then, carefully, backwards. She would’ve given it an 11/10 if she wasn’t still so embarrassed.

Weiss shifted a little more of her weight towards Ruby’s hand. “Is this okay?”

“It’s more than okay,” Ruby said. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’re sweating rather profusely.”

“Oh. Heh.”

Weiss shifted in her lap until she was side by side with Ruby, an arm slung around her shoulder and the other holding Ruby’s hand against the side of her butt. It was the most awkward Ruby had ever felt. She could feel Weiss’s body heat through the thin material of her leggings. Guilt bubbled in her stomach. Somehow, the whole thing felt so wrong. She should have been meeting Weiss halfway, showing off her legs or baring her breasts, anything at all for her girlfriend’s enjoyment, because just _taking,_ feeling up her ass without doing anything in return made her feel more predatory than ever before.

“Kiss me?” Ruby asked weakly.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Weiss smiled, and met Ruby’s lips with her own.

It was probably the quickest the two of them had ever gone from just kissing to full-blown making out. Weiss didn’t waste time before rolling into Ruby’s lap, cupping her face with both hands. Ruby’s hand didn’t leave her ass. If Weiss minded, she didn’t seem to show it. Briefly, it crossed Ruby’s mind that she may, in fact, appreciate the attention, and she didn’t have enough brainpower to fully process that, so she did the only thing she could, and gently squeezed.

Weiss gasped into Ruby’s mouth, sparking a groan from the younger girl. “Your hands feel nice,” she breathed between kisses. She ran her fingers along the hem of Ruby’s hoodie. “Can I…?”

“I-” Ruby swallowed, trying to pull herself into the semblance of a functional human being. “Under my hoodie, if that’s okay?”

Weiss’s hands slid against Ruby’s bare belly, tracing the outline of her faint abs. Her hands were cold. Ruby whimpered, the sound rising into a desperate squeak as frigid fingers reached her breasts, her nipples already hardening from the temperature alone. A pair of fingers pinched, tweaked, and twisted, and Ruby’s brain melted in her head. 

She bit her lip, trying not to feel guilty, but her tuck was coming undone and there was jack shit she could do about it. If her arousal ruined this awkward, yet pleasant experience she was sharing with Weiss right now, Ruby would just have another reason to loathe her anatomy.

“Your chest is so soft.”

“Your hands are so cold.”

“Excuse me?!?”

“It’s nice!” Ruby blushed. “I’m enjoying this.”

“You’d better,” Weiss said airily. “What’s the point in all of this if you’re not enjoying it?”

Ruby’s stomach clenched guiltily. In an instant, she saw things from Weiss’s side. Of _course_ Weiss wanted to please her too. She loved her. The least Ruby could do was indulge a little.

“You are enjoying this, right?” Weiss cocked her head. “I know I’ve embarrassed you, so if you need to cool off- mmph!”

Ruby caught her in a heated kiss. If she was gonna enjoy herself, she was going to make that clear. Weiss melted into the kiss, sighing contentedly, wrapping her arms around Ruby underneath her sweatshirt as the taller girl kicked the chair away from her desk; forgoing all pretense of returning to her game. On a lark, and because she knew Weiss would enjoy knowing how much Ruby was enjoying this, she gently squeezed her ass, relishing the gasp it provoked. She could feel Weiss smile against her lips. It was the loveliest sensation she had ever experienced.

"Mine," Ruby breathed against Weiss's lips. Her breath shook. She wanted to devour her, give in to the possessive hunger in her heart, greedily run her hands all over her body. She wanted to take her, sink more than just her teeth into her, mark her as hers and hers alone. 

There was a word Ruby was looking for. It was more than _take,_ though every fiber of Ruby's hot-blooded body wanted to hear Weiss mewl a desperate "take me, Ruby, I'm yours," presenting to her, submissive and impatient. That wasn't it.

The word Ruby was looking for was _claim._ She wanted to _claim her._

"Ruby," Weiss whimpered, panting into Ruby's mouth. Her voice was weak. Ruby paid it no heed, biting her kiss-swollen lower lip and drawing a whine from her precious princess before she surrendered to her animal hunger and claimed Weiss's lips for her own. She could feel Weiss's eyelashes flutter shut against her cheeks, her voice subdued. Conquered. Ruby invaded her mouth with her tongue, vanquishing Weiss's feeble attempts to fight back, taming her until she yielded, submitting to Ruby's reign. 

For a moment, anxiety flared in Ruby’s gut. It felt dangerous, almost sacrilegious for her to indulge like this, lest she lose herself in her lust and go too far too fast. What would Weiss do if Ruby threw her down on the bed like some sort of caveman ready to ravish her? She was so sweet and demure and innocent and so, so pliant under Ruby’s hungry hands and lips. Ruby had to stay in charge of herself, of the entire fragile situation or it would all come crashing down and it would all be her fault and-

Ruby squashed the thought, biting into Weiss’s throat and earning herself the sweet sound of Weiss hissing in pleasure. Sweet? Demure? Those were not the first words Ruby would use to describe Weiss Schnee, her dynamite, outspoken girlfriend. _Pliant?_ Weiss was stubborn and prickly by default. If she was compliant or obedient, it was by choice.

Ruby had to grant that Weiss was innocent, at least. The keyword being _was._

With that in mind, Ruby banished her anxiety to the darkest recesses of her mind. Her prim and proper girlfriend was fully able to stand up for herself and would shut down the whole situation if Ruby was particularly lecherous. She had to trust her.

Ruby slid her free hand under Weiss’s knees and rose to her feet. Weiss squealed in delight and surprise, finding herself bridal-carried and tossed onto her bed, ruining the immaculate bedspread. She expected Weiss to snark at her. Some sort of cheeky one-liner, maybe “Give me a little warning next time!” or “How are your arms so strong when you spend all day playing games?”

What she did not expect was for Weiss to look up at her with half-lidded eyes and a coy smile on her lips. Nor did she expect her to say “What are you planning to do to me that needs a bed, Ruby?”

“Weiss?”

“Yes?”

“You’re under arrest for being too horny.”

“In a sexy way?” Weiss raised an eyebrow. When Ruby didn’t respond, Weiss bit her lip in a way which sent blood rushing between Ruby’s legs. “Please?”

“That’s pretty kinky, Weissy,” Ruby said. She grabbed Weiss by the wrists -- eagerly offered, held out in front of her, Ruby was pleased to note -- and Ruby flopped onto the bed atop her girlfriend, giggling all the while. It felt nice to relax a little, to just be Weiss and Ruby messing around rather than being Ruby the reverent, who worshipped Weiss like the goddess she was with all her energy. “I didn’t know you were into that.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you dolt,” Weiss smiled. Ruby did. She let go of Weiss’s wrists, acknowledging that Weiss didn’t whine in disappointment. It was good to know she wasn’t serious about the whole ‘sexy arrest’ thing, firstly because Ruby could never tell, and second because she doubted she could keep that up for long. Pinning Weiss down as they made out and groped one another left Ruby feeling more than a little gross inside, mostly because she was kinda into it. “Take my top off?”

Ruby was so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t picked up on Weiss’s words. “Huh?”

Weiss tugged at the hem of her plain white T-shirt. “Are you comfortable with this?”

How cute. Weiss thought Ruby could possibly tell her no. “Knock yourself out.”

Weiss fidgeted. “Well?”

“What?”

“Are you going to take my top off?”

Ruby blinked. Too many thoughts clogged her brain, whirling in circles. For a moment, she felt predatory, leaving her girlfriend half-naked while she remained fully clothed, but she shook the thought away. Weiss wanted this. “Hell yeah.”

Dragging her hands along the smooth skin of Weiss’s waist as she tugged the overlarge shirt up her body, Ruby kissed Weiss deeply. Weiss arched her back, allowing the fabric to ride up more easily, and Ruby tried very hard not to think about her undone tuck underneath her baggy sweatpants.

Weiss bent forward so Ruby could pull the T-shirt over her head, after which it was tossed over her shoulder and onto the floor. For a single pregnant moment, Ruby just stared. She bet Weiss could see tiny silver loading symbols in her eyes, as if she were calculating a difficult equation. Deciding to be self-indulgent and trust Weiss to tell her to stop if the need arose, Ruby slid down Weiss’s body and took a small, pink nipple into her mouth.

Weiss whined, arching her back once again as she pressed her tit into Ruby’s mouth. “C-can you use your teeth?” she begged. “I saw- just be careful?”

Ruby chuckled around Weiss’s nipple. She shivered at her breath. Gently, Ruby dragged her incisors along the sensitive bud, unable to keep herself from smiling when Weiss hummed in pleasure. 

“You’re so good,” Weiss breathed, running a hand through Ruby’s feathery hair. “What do you want, darling?”

In lieu of answering, Ruby swirled her tongue around Weiss’s nipple. The older girl choked on her words. Having thrown her off her rhythm, Ruby redoubled her attack, sucking in her cheeks as though she were slurping down a thick strawberry milkshake.

“Hnnh,” Weiss whimpered. “You can- you’re not using your hands, you can touch my b-butt.”

Ruby’s face flushed. She looked up at Weiss without removing her lips from her nipple, eyebrows raised, as if to ask “really?” 

“Grab my ass,” Weiss said. 

If she was driven to use that kind of language, who was Ruby to deny her? She could feel her blush deepen as she slid her hands underneath Weiss’s raised hips, wondering how it was possible for her to blush so much while she was so hard. Surely she didn’t have enough blood in her body for that.

 _Actually,_ said the clever autistic part of Ruby’s brain that retained facts but couldn’t understand how to share them in the proper context, _the human body contains approximately five liters of blood, enough to fill up two and a half big bottles of soda. This was in that one vampire fanfic you read the other night-_

Ruby ignored her brain, trying desperately to focus on the sweet sensation of holding Weiss’s ass in her hands. She could recall Weiss once complaining that her hips were too skinny, a sentiment Ruby shared about her own body. Despite this lack of curves, however, Weiss’s rear was toned by her daily yoga and hugged tightly by her leggings. If Ruby were to allow her horny brain free reign, she would say Weiss had a tight, perky butt, but using such language made her feel a little bit skeezy, so she relegated herself to squeezing instead instead of thinking. 

“Ruby,” Weiss said, “kiss me?”

Ruby pulled off of Weiss’s nipple with a pop, watching her girlfriend flinch at the sudden cold. Before Weiss could complain, she was met with a face full of Ruby. Her breath was hot, and her lips were soft. They tingled with excitement, swollen from sucking at her nipple. 

Weiss wrapped her arms around her lover, squeezing her closer and closer. She wasn’t able to hide her moans at all, gasps and whines escaping her lips every time she broke for air. Ruby was similarly expressive, humming into Weiss’s mouth with every kiss. Her mind was all but empty, lost in the tight embrace of her lover, the gentle pressure of Weiss’s breasts against her sweatshirt, the heat of her tongue as it danced in Ruby’s mouth.

It wasn’t until Weiss wrapped her legs around Ruby’s waist that she shot back into her body. She still had her own legs stretched out behind her, grinding her core absentmindedly against the mattress, but Weiss’s new positioning was too close to her beautiful and terrible fantasies. As much as she wanted to grind against Weiss’s core, feel her heat through her leggings and pleasure the two of them together, she couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t.

She gasped in shock as Weiss’s cold hands snaked underneath Ruby’s thick red hoodie, pleasantly surprised to find that she was naked underneath. She traced her fingers down Ruby’s shoulder blades, eliciting a shiver from the woman on top of her. A million thoughts ran through Ruby’s head, only half of which were even tangentially related to the matter at hand.

“Darling,” Weiss breathed. Ruby could still taste her on her lips. “Take this off?”

Ruby swallowed. She didn’t want to see her naked body, not right now. Things were going so well. She was having fun. Why couldn’t she just be _normal_ and take off her top like nothing was wrong? She had _tits._ Weiss liked her tits. There was nothing wrong, nothing male about her upper body, she had no reason to get upset like this. _Just do it, Ruby,_ she told herself. “Okay.”

Ruby rolled off of Weiss, seating herself beside her. She took a deep breath, crossed her arms at the hem of her hoodie, and pulled.

“Ruby?” 

Ruby opened her eyes. She hadn’t realized she’d closed them. Weiss was staring at her, eyebrows knit, big blue eyes watery with concern.

“Ruby, you’re clearly uncomfortable. You don’t have to do this for me.”

“Wanna make you feel good,” Ruby mumbled.

“Don’t push yourself on my account,” Weiss said softly. She reached out, put a hand on Ruby’s, and slowly helped her pull her sweatshirt back down. “I don’t need to see your breasts if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“I _am_ comfortable with it,” Ruby said. Her arms were still crossed, as though she might pull off her hoodie at any moment. “I know you love my chest, we’ve done this before, and I’m not dysphoric about it, so why can’t I just do this for you?”

Weiss swallowed. “This is exactly what Yang warned me abou-”

“Don’t talk to me about Yang!” Ruby snapped, burying her face in her shoulder.

“Ru-”

“End of discussion,” Ruby insisted. “Are we going to keep making out or not?”

Weiss’s eyebrows shot up, her mouth open in disbelief. “Ruby, how can you-” she cut herself off, holding a fist to her pursed lips and exhaling. When her hand dropped to her lap, her expression had softened. “Can we cuddle?”

Ruby deflated. “Y-yeah.” Fortunately, Weiss didn’t press the issue further. Despite herself, she was glad Weiss stopped her. “Mentioning my sister is kind of a mood-killer.”

“Maybe _Yang_ should be our safeword,” Weiss chuckled. “Spoon me?”

“Do you want to put your shirt back on first?”

Weiss blinked, as if she’d forgotten she was half-naked. “Would it make you more comfortable?”

“I’m fine either way.” She really was. Just because Weiss was topless and she was fully clothed didn’t mean she had to be weird and self-loathing about it. “What would you prefer?”

Weiss pursed her lips. “Are you sure?”

“I’m okay, Weiss,” Ruby smiled. “I didn’t do anything that made me uncomfortable.”

Weiss looked her in the eye for a few more moments, but ultimately accepted. “I think I’ll stay topless, then. The less layers between us the better. Ah, except for your hoodie, that is.”

Ruby giggled. “Let me spoon you already, you big nerd.”

“You’re bigger and nerdier than I am,” Weiss replied, but she rolled onto her side all the same. It wasn’t long until Ruby was nestled right behind her, her nose buried in vanilla-scented ivory tresses. She slung an arm around Weiss’s torso, holding her close to her chest. Weiss, still shirtless, must be cold, Ruby figured, and as a good girlfriend it was her duty to keep her warm. That, and she also loved the way Weiss held her hand in both of hers, holding it with care as though it were a precious relic.

Weiss pushed her hips back, eager for more contact with her warm, soft girlfriend, but Ruby cringed her own hips away. After her humiliating interrogation earlier, she wasn’t particularly enthused about having her core pressed right up against Weiss’s ass.

For her part, Weiss didn’t seem to care. “Ruby,” she whined, “I want you to hold me close and cuddle me properly. Don’t half-ass it.”

Ruby was torn between making a joke about her particular word choice or dazedly complying just because Weiss cussed, and she only did so when she was serious. Ultimately, Ruby was eager to please, and soon enough, she was pressed up against Weiss from head to toe, tangling her legs together. Maybe if she was lucky, Weiss wouldn’t notice she was hard.

For a moment, it really did seem that way. Then Weiss wiggled her hips, pressing her ass in those unfairly tight leggings _directly_ against Ruby’s dick, forcing a surprised, full-bodied moan out of her. She wanted to cover her mouth and sink through the mattress and die. For fuck’s sake, she was loud enough Yang might have heard her in the living room, and her mouth was way too close to Weiss’s ears for comfort.

Rather than chastising her or covering her ears, though, Weiss merely chuckled. “You really _are_ fond of my rear, aren’t you?”

“This is so humiliating.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you don’t like it.” Ruby could practically hear Weiss roll her eyes. She tensed, waiting for Weiss to grind against her again, but mercifully, it never came.

They lay there together in blissful silence for a few moments. Weiss’s hair was so soft. It smelled so good. If it weren’t for her stupid fucking cock, she might have even enjoyed it. She couldn’t deny that it felt good, pressing herself against the curve of Weiss’s ass, good enough that with some grinding she was dead certain she could get off, but she couldn’t help but feel more like a disgusting man than ever at the thought. She could picture jizz soaking through Weiss’s leggings. Ew.

For a moment, Ruby’s mind kicked into overdrive. Was Weiss really that desperate and horny in quarantine that she would accept being feeling Ruby’s obvious arousal just to get some cuddles? Fuck, what made Ruby any different from some fucked-up cis dude taking advantage of Weiss’s total lack of options, quarantined in the RWBY apartment as she was? Surely her lesbian girlfriend would rather be spooned by Blake or Yang, if either of them were single.

Weiss wiggled her hips, settling into the bed, and Ruby tried not to whimper pitifully at the sensation. “I could get used to this,” she said. 

_You shouldn’t have to get used to it,_ Ruby wanted to say. Weiss shouldn’t sacrifice her own pleasure for Ruby’s sake -- even though Ruby had been fully prepared to do so for her. Ruby privately acknowledged the fact she was a hypocrite, but it was hypocrisy she could rationalize. She was trans. Weiss was a cis lesbian. Ruby, as the one with the dick, the body unsuited for this lesbian relationship, was responsible for Weiss’s comfort. What sort of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t? What sort of _trans woman_ would she be if she didn’t? She’d be no better than some gross straight man trying to “turn” a lesbian.

No, Ruby thought. Weiss deserved better than that. It was basic decency. As long as Ruby drew breath, Weiss would never be forced into such an uncomfortable situation. In fact, Ruby thought, she would make up for it. Not only would she keep her goddamn dick as far away from Weiss as she could, but she would do anything for Weiss. She would ensure that her perfect, frosty girlfriend was comfortable, not ashamed of her wants. Most of all, though, Weiss would never be helpless, delirious with desire and _vulnerable,_ entirely at Ruby's mercy to claim her as she saw fit. It was all too possible, Ruby knew. Memories flashed in her mind of Weiss prostrating herself before Ruby, too horny to think straight, the way she'd been the first night they kissed and many times since, the five-minute-old image of Weiss offering herself up under sexy arrest most notably. One of them had to keep their wits about them, lest they do something they would come to regret, and as long as Ruby was hungry to _claim_ her, to fill her up and ravish her-

Ruby swallowed. She was in charge. Not her dick. It would _never_ be in charge. If it ever was, Weiss would be vulnerable, engaging in a sex act with an organ she bore no fondness towards, experiencing the defenselessness of penetration, and all the risks that came with it while Ruby risked nothing. Ruby couldn't do that to her. She couldn't be that selfish.

This Ruby swore silently to herself as she held her girlfriend close. Weiss, in blissful ignorance, only cuddled up closer, shifting her hips once again.

If Ruby had been paying attention, she might have noticed Weiss liked it. That she enjoyed knowing her body turned Ruby on, that she liked feeling her girlfriend’s arousal pressed tightly against her body. She might have even been fantasizing about the two of them laying in this same position with nothing between them, grinding against each other until they were slick with sweat and heaving for air.

But Ruby was not paying attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🙃🙃🙃


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Everything gets worse. Warnings for dysphoria, internalized homophobia, internalized transphobia, difficult conversations, self-hatred, and confrontation.

The atmosphere in the RWBY apartment did not improve over the next several days. An extended fight with Yang wasn’t something Ruby had wanted, but neither she nor her sister took the time to talk to one another or offer any sort of apology. Some small part of Ruby wanted to admit defeat, to be Yang’s baby sister again, even if it felt infantilizing. It had to be better than this.

Ruby found solace on the balcony, for the most part. It was the safest way she could get fresh air and feel the sunlight on her skin without leaving the apartment. Occasionally, Blake would join her, a joint in one hand and a paperback in another, giving Yang all the space she needed to burn off some steam with her weights. Ruby had almost asked Blake to pass her the joint once before deciding against it. She had enough anxiety as was without weed-induced paranoia.

Briefly, Ruby wondered if she should worry about Blake. Smoking that much couldn’t be good for her, especially in the era of plague, but who was Ruby to judge her? Sitting was the new smoking, as they said, and Ruby’s eyes and brain were probably just as fried from staring at a computer screen all day. At least Blake was reading physical books. They all had their own coping mechanisms for living through stressful times. 

Weiss, for her part, seemed to have turned to overcoming her adolescent sexual repression, and frankly, that was probably the healthiest quarantine activity out of the four of them, save Yang’s lifting. Excellent stress relief, learning more about her body and how it ticked, the works. Despite the circumstances, Weiss seemed happier now than anytime before since the lockdown began.

It was a pity that her happiness came with an uptick of attempted seduction. Not because Ruby didn’t like the attention, but because she enjoyed it enough to make her brain go fuzzy. It was no longer exactly unexplored territory for the two of them a month into quarantine, but it was still fresh enough to taste of excitement and anxiety in equal measure. It would have been easier to cope with if she could’ve left her room when things got too heated, but as intense as kissing Weiss could be, it was still easier than dealing with Yang.

Even with Weiss’s constant affections, Ruby took no small amount of pride in the fact that despite just how wound up her girlfriend got her, Ruby had not lost herself to her libido. Even when Weiss was desperate, Ruby was there to cool her down when things got too heated. Not only that, but Ruby hadn’t pushed her any further. They were taking it slow, and Ruby was happy to take things at Weiss’s pace. 

Ruby Rose was perfectly in control. She was perfectly capable of asserting boundaries to her sister, her girlfriend, and herself. 

Surprisingly enough, though, it was Weiss who pulled away first that evening, cheeks pink and huffing for breath. Ruby took a moment to enjoy the sight; she was never going to get tired of that.

“You okay, Weissy?” Ruby asked. She shuffled back a bit, ruffling the crimson comforter on her bed. If Weiss needed space, Ruby was prepared to give her all she needed. Anything for Weiss.

Weiss nodded. Swallowing, she ran her fingers through her hair. “I am, it’s just, er, can we keep going?”

Ruby cocked her head.

“I mean,” Weiss said. She pressed the tips of her index fingers together, gazing off to the side. “Do you want to, you know…?”

“I don’t think I do,” Ruby admitted. "Know, I mean." Weiss obviously couldn’t mean what it seemed like she meant, and excluding that, Ruby had no idea what she was talking about whatsoever.

Weiss blushed. “Taking the next step.”

Ruby’s eyebrows shot up past her hairline. The two of them were taking it slowly; one step at a time, right? What came next? Where was she? It took Ruby a moment of zoning out to gather her thoughts, Weiss’s flustered babbling fading to the back of her mind. There were bases, right? Bases were basically steps. How many bases had she and Weiss gone past? For a moment, Ruby felt a pang of regret for her teenage years. If she’d learned these things when she were younger, she wouldn’t be making a fool of herself now.

“So, I, er, didn’t exactly learn all that much in health class…”

First base was kissing. Ruby remembered that much, at least. She and Weiss had kissed plenty since the start of the quarantine. Second base was under the shirt, right? Ruby wasn’t entirely sure. In any case, she’d touched Weiss’s chest and been touched in return, so the two of them had to be at third base right now, right? Or shortstop? She really didn’t know enough about baseball.

“...Particularly about, um, human reproductive anatomy, as it were, so…”

Third base, logically, had to be under the pants, right? If second base was toplessness, third base was bottomlessness, right? They’d come reasonably close to that, save for underwear, and while Ruby wasn’t particularly enthused about removing her own, she found herself growing excited at her prospects. Had Weiss grown comfortable enough in her own body, learned enough about how she likes to be touched that she could show Ruby what to do?

“...just really want to be as close to you as possible, and isn’t the two of us occupying the same space at once…”

Maybe third base was oral? Ruby distinctly remembered hearing that somewhere. It didn’t quite track with the pattern she’d previously established, but first base was kissing, not taking anything off, so maybe it _was_ about more than disrobing. Then again, it could just be moving down the body. Head, chest, groin… legs? Surely legs couldn’t be home plate. Home plate was _scoring._

“...I can’t think of anything closer, and I’d love to experience the pinnacle of intimacy with you…”

What was oral then? Shortstop? Whatever. It didn’t matter. If Weiss wanted Ruby to touch her or lick her out, Ruby would be honored to oblige, her chest warm in the knowledge that Weiss trusted her in such an emotionally and physically vulnerable state. An odd sense of pride bubbled up in her. She was going to get to be responsible for Weiss’s pleasure, sweep her off her feet and show her a good time. Best of all, Weiss wanted it, had brought it up first, and was fully aware that she was under no obligation to deal with Ruby’s arousal in return. Relationships were not transactional, and besides that, Ruby would be totally in control of herself and not some horndog pushing Weiss into an uncomfortable situation-

“I know it can be hard for you, but for our pleasant and safe first time together-”

“Huh-what?” Ruby blinked, then blinked again.

“-it kind of makes things easier,” Weiss finished, fidgeting for something in the overlarge sweatshirt she’d stolen from Ruby. “Since we had a class about it this way, and-”

Ruby’s heart dropped into her stomach. “Weiss?”

“I’ve known since I sucked your fingers that I wanted you inside me,” Weiss blushed. A pink square of plastic sat in the palm of her hand. 

Ruby’s jaw dropped. It couldn’t be.

“Honestly, I’m sort of glad you have a, uh, what you have. It makes things a little easier.”

Ruby’s mind stopped.

“It’s, um, more familiar,” Weiss explained. She pressed a palm against the pinkened back of her neck. Ruby had never seen her so self-conscious before. “I mean, it just makes sense to me, instinctually-”

“No.”

“B-beg pardon?” Weiss’s voice squeaked. “Did I hear-”

Ruby cleared her throat. “Weiss, it’s not-”

“It’s okay,” Weiss interrupted. "I know you’re dysphoric and that you probably wouldn’t want to do this, but-”

“I _do,_ but that’s not my point-”

”You do?” Weiss cocked her head. “It would be one thing if you didn’t want this, but if you _do, why_ aren’t we making love already?”

Ruby’s face was hot. “Why do you want to do _this_ in the first place?” she deflected.

“There’s just no way for two people to be closer than p-penetration,” Weiss stumbled. “I just want to be close to you.”

Ruby’s eyebrows knit involuntarily. No way. There was no way Weiss was considering this, asking for this. It didn’t compute. She wasn’t going to like it, shouldn’t let Ruby take advantage of her like this just because she wanted closeness. Fingers existed. Tongues existed. Ruby’s lower lip quivered. They could just do normal penetrative things like a _normal_ lesbian couple. For a moment, Ruby couldn’t tell why Weiss thought she needed to do this at all before remembering Weiss’s years of repression. She thought penetration was just what they’re "supposed" to do, Ruby knew it, it had to be.

“Weiss, penetration isn’t everything. I think you’re just coming from a place of internalized homophobia and-”

Weiss scoffed. “Ruby, you can’t possibly-”

“I’m serious, Weiss.” Ruby blinked watery silver eyes. “That’s really heterosexist, thinking that the most intimate sex requires a p-penis and a vagina-”

“I never said-”

“You said you were _glad_ I have a dick, Weiss. You called it ‘the pinnacle of intimacy.’”

“It’s the most intimate act I can imagine, Ruby,” Weiss said. She reached out for Ruby’s hand, but she shot back on the bed as if she’d been shocked. “You said you wanted this, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“Would it be better if I, er, used certain terminology?” Weiss asked. How she could sound so clinical and flustered at the same time, Ruby couldn’t tell, but she was doing a fantastic job of it. “It would make you more comfortable if I described your clit as such, rather than anything else-”

“Call it what it is.” Ruby cut her off. “Don’t call it that, it’s not-”

“It _is,_ though, isn't it?” Weiss asked. “I’ve read that hormones effectively transform your... 'equipment' into what is functionally a giant clitoris.”

“If it’s just a clit, why do I want it _gone,_ Weiss?” Ruby growled, her voice cracking. The edges of her vision blurred. She felt like she was falling. “I _wish_ it was a clit. Don’t tell me to pretend that it is.”

“I… see,” Weiss said. Ruby didn’t entirely believe her. “I’m sorry.”

Ruby deflated. “It’s not your fault,” she grumbled, hating herself for how juvenile she sounded, like a sulking child, but her emotions were boiling over after simmering for days, weeks, the entire month of quarantine thus far, and she couldn’t hold them in. “The worst part is that I want it too. My body wants it but I can’t do that to you, not when-”

“Wait a moment.” Weiss’s frown deepened. “You want this and I want this. What’s the problem?”

“I can’t do that to you!” Ruby exclaimed, burying her face in her hands. “My body wants it but I can’t do that to you, Weiss, I feel like some sort of disgusting predatory man trying to push you into something even though you’re a lesbian-”

“Is that what this is about? That I can’t want to have sex with you this way because you have-?”

“No, because you’re-”

“Ruby, you’re not thinking straight. Are you really upset because you’re _not_ uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with me?”

“You don’t need a dick to have sex,” Ruby snapped. “You’ve just been raised your whole life with a specific picture of what sex is, a-a-a _heterosexual_ picture and now you think only penetrative sex counts-”

“You know what? So what if I do?” Weiss crossed her arms, eyes flaring. “So what if I highly value a sex act that lets us both experience pleasure together, to be as close and intimate as possible? Does it really matter why?”

“Of course it matters! I’m taking advantage of your internalized homophobia and you’re going to realize it when it’s too late and realize you’ve made a huge mistake-”

“I’m a grown woman! I have the right to make mistakes.”

“Well, I won’t be one of them!” Ruby snapped. She blinked a hot tear down her cheek.

Weiss, for her part, didn’t blink.

“There’s going to be a moment when you inevitably realize that _no,_ you’re a _lesbian_ and I’m taking advantage of you like an entitled _fuckboy_ and you _can’t do this-”_

“Ruby, if I’m suffering from internalized homophobia, you’re clearly trying to rationalize your own internalized transphobia.”

Ruby opened her mouth to rebut, but no words came out. For a moment, she allowed herself to consider the idea, but quickly brushed it aside. She’d already considered this, but nothing in her mind could change the material reality: Ruby had a dick. No matter how much of a woman she was, her body was unsuited for her lesbian girlfriend. She owed Weiss better than this. Her body was betraying her again, urging her to take, to conquer, to _claim,_ and it made Ruby queasy. She and Weiss were equals in their relationship. Ruby wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't allow herself into a traditionally dominant role and succumb to her possessive impulses. Make Weiss _hers._

This wasn’t fair. Ruby’s lip quivered. This wasn’t fair and Ruby didn’t deserve this. It felt too easy, too much like wish fulfilment for her depraved fantasies. She couldn’t have spent all that time hating herself for those fantasies only to make them a reality, anguished for nothing. She shouldn’t do this. It wasn’t fair to her and it wasn’t fair to Weiss. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she indulged in this, taking Weiss at her word and obeying the carnal whims of her body and just expected everything to work out fine? That was pure fantasy, less realistic than any of Blake’s pulpy romance erotica, Ruby’s private fic bookmarks, or even fucking harem anime. She didn’t deserve this.

“Weiss,” Ruby said. She tried to keep her voice steady. "I can't be the cause."

“Ruby, what do you-”

“I have a dick and you’re a lesbian and you’re going to hate it and realize you made a terrible mistake and never want to do it again and regret it and it’s going to be all because of me-”

“Yes, I’m a lesbian!” Weiss snapped. “I’m attracted to you! Put two and two together! This doesn’t change-”

“It does _too-”_

“You’re a real woman! Surely the fact that I, a _lesbian,_ am attracted to you proves-”

“No _real_ woman would use her dick on a lesbian,” Ruby said. She squeezed her eyes shut, rising to her feet, her knuckles white. “I’m just like a man trying to-to _force_ this on you and you won’t-”

“Ruby, I-”

“I need to go,” Ruby said weakly, wiping her eyes on the back of her arm.

“I asked first-”

“I need to go!”

Weiss slid off the bed and reached for Ruby’s wrist. She caught her at the door. “Ruby, _talk_ to me-”

Ruby wrenched her arm away with a jerk of her shoulder, raising it to cover her face.

“Let me walk away, then," Weiss asked, her voice gentle, yet unmistakably controlled. Ruby knew that voice. It was Weiss's professional voice, the sort used in negotiations, not conversations. "You deserve the privacy of your own room. I don’t want you to go keep fighting with Yang-”

 _Yang._ “I won’t,” Ruby said through gritted teeth. She opened the door with a shaking hand, her head swimming.

“Ruby-”

She slammed the door behind her, stomped towards the living room, and made a hard pivot for the balcony. She nearly walked straight into the sliding glass door, unable to see it properly through bleary eyes. Her head was spinning.

Shutting the door behind her, she slid with her back against it until hitting the unswept floor. She propped her elbows against her thighs. She buried her face in her hands and wept.

She couldn’t go inside. She couldn’t handle this. Not when Yang was mad at her, not when Weiss was, was, was whatever the hell she was right now. The apartment was too small with everybody there all the time, too cramped for her to avoid her sister and her girlfriend. What the fuck was she thinking? 

Ruby whimpered, choking back a sob. She’d ruined her most important relationships and couldn’t run or hide. Carefully, Ruby rose to her feet, gripped tightly at the balcony’s railing, sniffled, and dry heaved another sob over the edge, watching a tear fall sixty feet to the pavement below.

Fuck. Yang was right. Ruby _was_ a baby who hated her body. She fell to her knees, leaned her back against the railing, and sucked in a breath through her clogged nostrils and held it. That was a conversation she needed to have. Apologizing to Yang.

At least that way only one person would still be mad at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That's one way to talk about your feelings.
> 
> Sure hope things don't get even worse.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Angst, but you knew that already. Specifically, more self-loathing, internalized transphobia, and internalized homophobia. Also, Weiss sniffs Ruby's leggings and delves into self-loathing over it.

In a silent room of a quiet, cramped apartment, Weiss Schnee sat on her bed.

She’d almost followed Ruby, wanting to console her. She had done the same for her, after all, when she had been struggling with her own internalized issues surrounding sex. Weiss knew Ruby had similar issues and had been looking forward to offering her girlfriend the same kindness, but she’d gone and fucked it up, she knew it, and now the best thing she could do was give Ruby her space. She could talk to her that night when she came back, or even wait until after Ruby slept. Whatever the case, she would be patient and wait for Ruby to choose when to initiate the conversation again.

In the moment, her blood had been running so hot that she was unable to decide whether to chastise Ruby for her hypocrisy or just hold her in the tightest hug she could muster. In the end, her attempt to be calm and talk to Ruby about her feelings had come off hollow. She almost felt bad about it, but her heart was made of ice, and her mind was lost trying to untangle the logic behind Ruby’s words.

In Weiss’s defense, Ruby  _ was  _ a hypocrite. She had assured Weiss that her desires were nothing to be afraid of, all the while beating herself up internally over those same desires. They wanted the same thing. Why couldn’t Ruby see that?

Weiss sighed. For a moment, she wished she’d been more eloquent. Assured Ruby that there was no pressure, that they never had to do anything at all Ruby didn’t want, that Weiss wasn’t upset at being denied, but confused by Ruby’s reaction. After all the shame Ruby had helped her unlearn, suddenly  _ this  _ desire was wrong? It boggled her mind. She should have written and memorized a script instead of the embarrassed, honest word salad she’d offered. 

Nothing she could do about it now. Not until Ruby came back, her thoughts collected and her heart guarded. In the hours left before bedtime, Weiss was ready to draw up an apology and organize her thoughts. When Ruby returned to her, she would be prepared to assure her that her feelings were valid despite her double standards and that Weiss was fully supportive of whatever Ruby was comfortable with.

But Ruby did not return to their room that night.

* * *

The Xiao Long-Belladonna room was one Ruby seldom had the privilege to witness. Blake valued her space and saw her room as a sanctum, a place to escape when the world beyond grew frightening. Beyond that, Ruby was happy to give her big sister plenty of privacy for a multitude of reasons.

The room stank of sweat and weed.

It was the larger of the two bedrooms, though the king-size bed took up more than half of the floor. On either side, each woman had a nightstand. Blake’s was messy, stacked high with cups and dog-eared books, while Yang’s was more barebones, home only to her water bottle and the wireless phone charger Blake had bought her for Valentine’s Day. A yellow yoga mat filled the aisle between the bed and the wall, Yang’s dumbbells tucked just beneath the bedframe. 

The closet was open, which made sense, considering that it was full to bursting. A basket of washed laundry yet to be put away or on hangers was spilling over Yang’s blacklights. Several of Blake’s bows were knotted together, slipping off a shelf. Ruby knew that somewhere in there were Blake’s smoking supplies and an essential oil diffuser from Kali that they never used, despite how much nicer the room would be if it smelled of lavender and peppermint.

Ruby paid none of this any heed. A room was a room, and that’s all she could manage.

It was ultimately more difficult for Ruby to climb to her feet and come back inside from the balcony than it was for her to knock softly on the door and say “it’s me.” She’d been prepared to convince Yang to open the door and talk to her, but to her surprise, it opened without a fight.

Yang’s hard expression softened. Ruby didn’t know how she looked, but it must’ve been distressed, because Yang immediately pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispered. She hadn’t meant to whisper, but between her hoarse throat after all that crying and Yang crushing her windpipe, it was remarkable she was able to speak at all.

Yang shushed her, pulling her into the room and clicking the door shut with her foot. She set Ruby down on the corner of the bed before taking a step back and sitting beside her, the bed dipping beneath her weight. She ruffled Ruby’s hair wordlessly.

“You were right,” Ruby croaked, staring at her laced fingers. She brushed her thumbs together. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Not now,” Yang hummed. She shot a look over her shoulder towards Blake, who was seated at her desk with her phone in hand, eyebrows creased. “Do you want sister time?”

“It’s fine,” said Ruby. She swallowed. “Don’t leave on my account.”

“It’s no issue,” Blake said, stuffing her phone in her pocket. “I can-”

“Stay?” Ruby asked. “Please?”

Blake quirked an eyebrow, silently asking ‘why?’ before padding over to sit beside Yang. 

“We’re here for you,” Yang murmured.

“I-” Ruby swallowed.

“You’re my little sister, Ruby. You’re family. C’mere.”

Clutched close to Yang’s chest in a mercifully gentler hug, Ruby took a moment to catch her breath before she spoke. Blake brushed her shoulder with their fingertips, a faint gesture of support, but one that Ruby appreciated immensely. “Yang, I’m sorry I compared you to Raven. That was uncalled for.”

“I forgive you,” Yang said bluntly. Ruby appreciated that. “I’m sorry for giving Weiss the big sister talk.”

“You were right.”

“I was messing with her,” Yang said, brushing a hand through Ruby’s hair. “She’s easy to fluster and fun to tease. You were right, Ruby, I was bored in quarantine. I never wanted to embarrass you.”

“You were right to talk to her,” Ruby murmured.

“In that case, I’m glad I did. She’s my friend first, but I’ll always be your big sister, and that means making sure she treats you right.”

“It’s not her fault, I was-”

Yang frowned. “Did she-? Is that why you’re here? Not just to make up for our-”

“Yang,” Blake warned.

“She was-” Ruby breathed, interrupting herself, “-wasn’t thinking straight, wanted things I-”

Yang’s jaw clenched. “What did she do to you?”

“She didn’t, she just-”

“She clearly did  _ something,”  _ Yang growled, “if she hadn’t done something to hurt you then you wouldn’t have come crying to my door. I-”

“She was making bad decisions for herself!” Ruby squeaked. “I wanted to support her, but I couldn’t-”

“So you put her first,” Yang said. She rose to her feet, brushing Ruby’s hair gently as she released her from her embrace. “You put her wants and needs above your own and she didn’t notice? How could she-”

“She was trying to put  _ me  _ first and I couldn’t do that to her-”

“Bullshit, Ruby,” Yang seethed, marching towards the door. “You said I was right. She wanted something from you that you weren’t comfortable giving and whatever the fuck happened, she didn’t back down, so you came  _ crying  _ to me and Weiss is gonna regret-”

“Yang, I-”

“Yang.” Blake clasped her left hand with both of her own, suddenly at her side.

“I talked to her about this and she  _ still-” _

“Take your time,” Blake said. She squeezed Yang’s hand. “Weiss isn’t going anywhere. Ruby needs you now.”

“But-” Yang cut herself off, clamping her eyes shut. She let out a sharp, deep breath. “Ruby needs me.” 

“I’m, I’m,” Ruby scrambled for words. “Yang.”

“It’s possible for two thing to be true at once,” Blake said. Her voice was soft, soothing. “It’s entirely possible that Weiss was trying to put Ruby first and still hurt her. You don’t need to yell at her for that.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” Yang grumbled.

“Yes, it could.”

“I know.” Yang sighed. “I just  _ really  _ want to hit something right now. I’m not gonna, but… Ruby.”

“Hmm?” Ruby sniffled.

“Even if Weiss didn’t want to hurt you, she clearly did. Don’t blame yourself.”

“But I-”

“Assert your boundaries, ‘kay? Like you did to me.” Yang sat down again, wrapping an arm around Ruby’s shoulder. “Okay, maybe not like you did to me, but still. Point stands. Don’t be a pushover.”

“I’m not a pushover,” Ruby grumbled, burying her face in Yang’s shoulder.

“No, you’re not,” Yang affirmed. She ruffled Ruby’s hair. “You walked away and you’re allowed to do that.”

Ruby sniffled again. “Thanks, Yang.”

“If you’re not ready to go back, you can stay the night in our room.” Yang shot Blake a look. “If that’s chill with you?”

“Of course,” Blake said. “As long as you need, Ruby. The apartment is small and the quarantine is long. I know what it’s like to need space.”

_ So do I,  _ Ruby thought. She’d been avoiding Yang for days. “As long as I need?”

“As long as you need,” Blake repeated fiercely. 

“I don’t want to impose-”

“You’ll sleep between Yang and I,” Blake said. Her amber eyes flashed. “Like a baby. Like how my parents slept on either side of me as a baby.”

“That’s a little excessive, I can sleep on the floo-”

“I’m not putting my baby sister on the floor, Rubes,” Yang said. Ruby decided not to press her for saying “baby sister.” It fit with Blake’s offer. “But we don’t need to smother you. You’re a grown woman. You can take my side of the bed for a bit. Blake ‘n I can snuggle.”

Blake nodded. “Let’s get you tucked in with a hot chocolate, ‘kay? You could use some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

“You’re emotionally exhausted,” Blake said. “Everything will be better after a good night’s sleep. Maybe then you can talk to Weiss.”

Ruby frowned. “I-”

“Or not,” Yang added quickly. “Don’t rush things.”

“Didn’t I just have to remind  _ you  _ of that?” Blake smiled tentatively.

“You did.” Yang rolled her eyes. “Let me whip up a quick hot chocolate for you.”

“I’ll tuck her in.”

“I’m not tired, though.”

“You will be. I’m gonna put a box of horse tranquilizers in your cocoa.”

“Yang!”

Yang laughed, sauntering out of the room. She closed the door behind her with a soft  _ click. _

It didn’t take long to get Ruby situated at the edge of the bed. She wasn’t as tall or broad as Yang or Blake, and quickly discovered that the soft memory foam topper on the mattress was thick enough for her to sink into, and the heavy plaid comforter only helped to bury her deeper. Despite her protests, Ruby acquiesced to Blake without much of a fuss, letting her tuck her in until she could barely move.

This proved to be a poor decision, for once Yang returned with a piping hot mug, steam drifting off the top, Ruby was unable to free her arms to hold it. Blake undid her hard work, but not without a little good-natured grumbling.

After taking a long sip of cocoa, Ruby smiled. She had a brown milk mustache above her lip. “Thanks, moms.” Under normal circumstances, Yang would have bristled at that comment, dragging up memories of the years following Summer’s death and Raven’s non-excuse for parenting, but instead, Yang simply elbowed her girlfriend and smiled.

“We  _ do  _ make a pretty good parenting team, I suppose,” Blake mused.

“You started it, offering to sleep on either side of her like your parents did for you.”

“I suppose I did,” said Blake, “but maybe she’s just mistaking me for Summer. Dark hair, Ruby’s mild faceblindness-”

“I resent that but it’s true,” Ruby mumbled between sips.

“She had dark red hair,” Yang said, “and besides, what’s it say about me if I’m dating a chick who looks like my late step-mom?”

Ruby wrinkled her nose.

Blake hesitated a moment.

“Don’t say it.”

“What are you  _ doing,  _ step-bro?” Yang snorted, giggling into her shoulder uncontrollably.

“I want a divorce and I’m taking the kids,” Blake deadpanned.

Yang responded with something clever, Ruby was sure, but she had finished her cocoa and without her emotions running high, exhaustion was creeping up on her. Maybe Yang really  _ did _ put horse tranquilizers in the cocoa.

Ruby would wake up around midnight to find her hormones on Yang’s nightstand and her sister sleeping soundly at a respectful distance. Blake was still up, staring at her phone in the dark, her pupils slightly slitted, like a cat’s. Ruby nodded her thank you, took her pills, dashed off to brush her teeth, and then returned to fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

As cramped as the apartment was, somehow, without Ruby, it felt too vast for Weiss. 

She barely left her room the day after… after whatever it was. She didn’t want to call it a fight. A misunderstanding, perhaps, but not a fight. In any case, Weiss resigned herself to the room she shared with Ruby, waiting for her girlfriend to return on her own terms and in her own time. 

It didn’t help that the atmosphere beyond the relative safety of her room was tense. Weiss could see it in Yang’s eyes. She hadn’t said anything to Weiss when she’d seen her in the kitchen, hadn’t even nodded hello, just ignored her. Weiss didn’t know whether to be relieved or doubly concerned. 

Not that her room was much better. Without Ruby sitting at her desk playing a video game, watching anime in bed, or reading comics on her phone, the room felt empty and cold. Weiss tried to rationalize it; Ruby’s PC wasn’t warming the room, Ruby’s body heat was absent, after a month of quarantine Weiss had grown used to a very specific setup, but Weiss knew the feeling was emotional, not logical.

It reminded her of Schnee Manor.

She had all the space she needed to herself, but was not free to roam beyond the boundaries of her designated space. It was cold and empty and she was all alone, free to do as she wished, with only the judgemental voice of her father in the back of her mind. In fact, the only significant difference Weiss could find between her lonely childhood underneath her father’s thumb and her new existence in this isolated quarantine was that now, all grown up, Weiss was horny as shit.

Oddly enough, it reminded her of Ruby. Not because she continued to fantasize about her despite the fact that they were fighting, no, had a misunderstanding, nor because Ruby’s side of the room was largely untouched since that night, but because Weiss felt she was starting to understand Ruby’s self-loathing. Before, she had felt ashamed of her blossoming sexuality; that it was wrong, dirty, or, as her father would put it, degenerate. She had been ashamed of her desires, of course, of the things she fantasized about, but never to this degree. Perhaps this was close to how Ruby felt, thinking of things she wanted to do but believed Weiss would not.

Worst of all and perhaps the most relatable, Weiss ventured, was that she didn’t stop. She hated herself for continuing to touch herself to the same imagery of a confident, bossy Ruby pushing her around. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t get the thought out of her head, her fantasies inevitably morphing into and twisting as she tried in vain to satisfy her fussy libido. She even pictured a sadistic Ruby more than once, her hands loose around her neck, using her as she saw fit, but not even that could get her off. Even if it could, Weiss couldn’t keep going long enough, knowing what she knew now. Ruby wouldn’t hurt her even if Weiss wanted her to.

The worst experience Weiss had was on the second day without Ruby, left all alone in that too-big cramped apartment bedroom. Weiss knew she was going to regret her actions even as she did so, but she couldn’t stop her wandering hands as she lay on Ruby’s bed. She inhaled the faint scent of Ruby’s rose-scented perfume. She only wore it because of her surname, just like her mother did. Weiss pressed her face into Ruby’s pillow, hating herself all the while, but she was like a junkie, worse than Blake with her pot, and she needed her fix of Ruby. Ruby’s apple-scented shampoo, her green tea deodorant, her strawberry sweets. Weiss finally brought the whole operation to a halt after she found herself holding Ruby’s worn leggings to her face, reminiscing over how it felt to have Ruby’s body, hot and sweaty, pressed up against her own, how lovely her voice sounded, how the intoxicating carnal scent shot straight to her core. Weiss was halfway through putting on those leggings with a hand down her panties when she was overcome by a wave of revulsion towards herself. She had never felt like more of a pervert.

Her self-loathing lit a spark within her. If this was at all similar to how Ruby felt, then Weiss was one step closer to seeing her side. 

Maybe Ruby was right. Maybe Weiss  _ was  _ suffering from internalized homophobia. She certainly had the upbringing to explain it. 

Slowly, things fell into place. Weiss could see where Ruby was coming from. She  _ had  _ been raised to overvalue penis-in-vagina sex, and despite coming to terms with her lesbian identity, Weiss was still struggling to unlearn that. She could see why Ruby had reacted the way she had, scared of being Weiss’s stepping stone, so to speak, towards “proper” lesbianism. This wasn’t the case, obviously, at least to Weiss; she just wanted a form of sex she was more familiar with that offered mutual pleasure. Regardless, Ruby’s anxieties made sense, and, to be fair, Weiss  _ was  _ placing undue value on that particular act due to her upbringing, but in her defense, she found it  _ really  _ hot and refused to feel guilty for her desires. Ruby had taught her that much.

Ruby’s conflicted desires still eluded her understanding, however. She couldn’t comprehend how Ruby wanted the same things she did but couldn’t bring herself to do it. It wasn’t physical dysphoria, what was it? She’d said something about feeling like a man, and while Weiss could understand that, she couldn’t believe Ruby would throw every other trans woman comfortable with such an act under the bus. 

Why couldn’t she see that she deserved pleasure too?

On the evening of the second day, Weiss put in her AirPods, put on lofi study beats, and began researching in earnest. If she was going to be alone, she better make use of her time and learn some things. Her laptop sat on her legs, several tabs open on internalized homophobia and heterosexism, but Weiss was glued to her phone. Internalized homophobia directly impacted her. She’d experienced it. It wasn’t as important as researching internalized transphobia and understanding her girlfriend.

She had plenty of time to learn, and when Ruby was ready, Weiss was going to put that knowledge to good use. Opening another tab and waiting impatiently for her laptop to load, Weiss cracked her knuckles. She opened a google doc, titled it “To Ruby”, and began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. They're not out of the woods yet, but that could've gone worse.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the reason why I tagged this fic “Blake ex Machina.”
> 
> CW: Minor self-loathing and that’s it!

On the dawn of her third day away from Weiss, Ruby slept soundly.

Yang was the only person in their apartment who snored. Ruby had, to be fair, but that was before starting hormones. Ever since, she’d slept more soundly. Nobody knew whether it was just a side effect or if it was an indicator of her growing comfort in her body, rescuing her from fitful sleep. Whatever it was, Ruby had decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and take what she could get.

Her easy slumber made it all the more easy for Blake and Yang to whisper back and forth in front of the closet, hoping not to wake her.

It had started innocuously enough. Yang had returned from her early morning run and found Blake lounging in a sunbeam on the couch, nursing a cup of coffee. She’d even made a spare cup for her girlfriend. 

It all came crashing down when a sleepy Weiss wandered into the living room. She’d flinched at the sight of Yang, dithering between her room and the kitchen like a frightened, hungry animal. For her part, Yang did little more than scoff, purposefully averting her eyes, as if trying to pretend she didn’t exist.

Blake wasn’t quite sure why such a small thing set her off. Perhaps it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. After more than a month in quarantine, the rising tensions and arguments in the apartment, and the slow collapse of the outside world, Blake was done with petty passive-aggression. She snatched Yang’s wrist, catching her by surprise, and dragged her into their room in swift silence.

“What gives?” Yang whispered, more confused than angry.

Blake sighed. “Look, Yang, it’s not your job to be mad at Weiss.”

“I’m not-”

“You’re acting like it.” Blake crossed her arms. “Please, just--just give it a break.”

Yang took a sip of her coffee. “Okay.”

“What, just like that?”

“I’m sure you’ve logicked your way through this somehow,” Yang shrugged. “I’ve clearly struck a nerve, and since we’re healthy adults able to communicate, you’re gonna tell me what’s going on with you.”

“That’s remarkably mature of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yang snapped. Ruby turned over in the bed, and she froze. Quietly, Yang repeated herself.

“That’s Weiss’s line.”

“I _know_ it is,” Yang grumbled. “Now are you gonna tell me what’s up or what?”

“You don’t have to be mad at Weiss for Ruby. She can take care of that herself. Look at her, she spent all day yesterday in our bed sulking.”

“You’re the one who offered for her to stay as long as she needed.”

“I’m aware of that,” Blake said. Her eyes flicked over to Ruby for a moment. “But it’s irrelevant. What matters is that she wouldn’t want you to be mean to her girlfriend.” Notice Yang raising a finger as if about to make a point, Blake cut her off. “Shocker, I know, but they’re still girlfriends, Yang. They’re going through a rough patch.”

The muscles in Yang’s jaw flexed. It took Blake a moment to remind herself not to stare. “If you were really being a good big sister, you’d want Ruby to be happy with her girlfriend again.”

Yang’s jaw dropped in indignation, eyes wide. “No fucking way!” Ruby grumbled in her sleep and Yang lowered her voice, whispering through gritted teeth. “Blake, pushing Ruby back towards a girl who hurt her isn’t good big sister behavior.”

“Under other circumstances, yes,” Blake conceded, “but right now, Yang? When they’re stuck in a tiny apartment together? They’re not breaking up over this and you know it.”

Yang took a long sip of her coffee, gathering her words. “I’m not gonna rush them.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

Yang scoffed. She gave Blake a deadpan look, lavender eyes half-lidded, and sighed. Blake reached out a hand for her shoulder, but Yang shrugged it off. “Gimme a moment.”

Blake stepped back.

Yang clenched her fist and released. With a sharp breath, she smirked at Blake. “You just want our room all to ourselves again so you can smoke, don’t you?”

“What? No!” 

Ruby rustled the blankets and Blake froze, her ears flattening backward against her head. They seemed almost to fade into the black of her hair. 

“I know you, Blakey-cakes,” said Yang, raising an eyebrow. “You miss bein’ able to wake-and-Blake without going out onto the porch. It might be springtime, but it’s still too cold in the morning for you.”

“Can’t I just be sick of how goddamn irritating it is for everyone to be fighting?” Blake asked. She rolled her eyes. “First you and Ruby could barely look at one another and now you’re giving Weiss the cold shoulder. All four of us are friends. We can get along.”

“Don’t lecture me on the power of friendship, you’ll start sounding like Ruby. I love you, but I can’t talk with you if you sound like my sister.”

“I miss having our room to ourselves,” Blake admitted, “because you and I don’t have any privacy.”

Yang blinked. 

“Ugh.” Blake held her face in her hand. “It sounds selfish when I put it like that, telling Ruby she can stay as long as she needs and then kicking her out so I can have you all to myself, especially when she needs you-”

“I _knew_ you liked me more than weed.”

“It’s no contest,” Blake said, “but don’t make me reconsider. Don’t get smug.”

“Too late,” Yang smirked. “You _luuurve_ me.”

Blake took a sip of coffee. “Look. I have a plan. Will you work with me?”

“Care to tell me first?”

“I’m getting to that,” Blake snapped, gesticulating aimlessly with her free hand. “We’re a good team. Ruby and Weiss just need a little nudge, otherwise they’re going to fall further into inertia. If we work in tandem, we can put them back on the right path.”

Yang nodded.

“That being said, I need you to talk to Weiss while I talk to Ruby.”

“I-!” Yang raised a hand to her chest in shock. “Ruby is _my_ sister, not-” Ruby rolled over in bed, and Yang cut herself off. She took that moment of silence to collect herself. “Why do _I_ have to talk to Weiss?”

“Because you’re the one who has been giving her the silent treatment,” Blake whispered. “And you gave her that whole ‘hurt Ruby and they’ll find your body in a ditch’ talk.”

“I didn’t go _that_ far.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“I _didn’t!”_ Yang hissed. “But fine. Let’s say I go talk to Weiss. What’s in it for me?”

“You’ll help solve your sister’s relationship problems and repair your friendship with Weiss?”

Yang didn’t blink.

Blake sighed. “We’ll have the room all to ourselves again. I know you want it.”

“You know _exactly_ what I want.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“I’m gonna make you say it.”

Blake rolled her eyes. “If you talk to Weiss, you can grope the Bellabooty--” she cringed slightly, “--all that you want.”

“I dunno,” Yang smirked, “I’ve got all the power right now.”

“Ah, yes, the negotiator,” Blake snarked.

“Atta girl,” Yang smiled, ruffling Blake’s hair. She crossed her arms, ears flicking in irritation. “Just one more thing, though: do you think you could do those edibles Weiss picked up for you instead of smoking?”

“Yang…”

“I’m worried about your lungs, okay? I love the sound of your voice and resting my head on your chest while you breathe. Don’t take that away from me.”

“I’m not taking anything away from you,” said Blake. “My lungs are fine. I know I’m smoking more than usual, but we’re in quarantine and there’s not much else to do, and thinking about the news is so stressful that I just need an escape, okay? I know you understand.”

“You can escape with an edible.”

"Edibles are scary,” Blake grumbled. 

“I know, baby.”

“There’s so much less control in them than in smoking. They last longer and take a while to kick in, and they always catch you off guard-”

“I’ll take one with you,” Yang offered. She took Blake’s hand in her own. “Deal?”

Blake paused for a moment. Yang was much more partial to alcohol than weed, so if she and Blake both took one edible apiece, Yang would be so much further gone than Blake that she might have to take care of her big, buff girlfriend’s limp, heavy body while also under the influence. That being said…

“Deal.” Blake shook. No matter how she tried to resist it, the image of a mellowed-out, cuddly Yang was too appealing to miss. “But only after you’ve talked to Weiss.”

Yang chuckled. “What, do you think I’d talk to her while out of my mind? Are you high?”

“Not yet.” Blake quirked an eyebrow.

“Okay, so just to make sure,” Yang said, “I’ll talk to Weiss, you’ll talk to Rubes, I’ll get that sweet Bellabooty and we’ll listen to some groovy psychedelic rock?”

“Say that again without calling my ass the ‘Bellabooty’ and we’re good.”

“You’re the one who came up with that nickname in the first place-”

“It was Nora! It’s always Nora!”

* * *

Weiss wished she hadn’t shrieked when she noticed Yang right behind her, but to be fair, she was pretty out of it. Still, though, bad start to a difficult conversation. She knew this was coming and she’d taken the risk of busying herself in the kitchen anyways.

“You good, Ice Queen?” Yang chuckled.

Weiss bit back her retort. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end like static. Every instinct in her body told her to snark back, to ask why the hell Yang cared anyways after ignoring her for days, to get out of her face. Releasing the tension in her shoulders, she allowed herself a small grumble. “It’s unfair for you to be both large and stealthy.”

“It’s not my fault I’m a complete package,” said Yang. “Minus an arm, but nobody’s perfect. What’re you up to anyway?”

 _Why do you care?_ Weiss wanted to say. “Nothing important.”

“Great. Gives me a chance to chill with you.”

“It’s actually pretty important,” Weiss admitted.

“C’mon, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“I’m trying to bake cookies for Ruby.”

“Yeah, that _is_ important.”

“Thank you,” Weiss said. “The key word is _trying,_ might I add.”

“I can see that.”

“Rude.”

“I know,” Yang said. “It’s just, like, too easy, you feel me?”

Weiss hung her head. “Understandable.”

Yang put a cold, plastic hand on Weiss’s shoulder, making her jump. “Need a hand?”

“Huh-what?”

“With the cookies,” Yang said. “I used to make ‘em for Ruby all the time and you’re not exactly experienced with baking.”

Weiss blinked. “If by ‘giving me a hand’ you mean taking off your prosthetic and using it as a whisk, allow me to politely decline.”

“I didn’t even think of that. Good idea, Weissicle! I’ll have to try it out sometime.” Yang slid alongside Weiss, peering down at the collection of ingredients laid out before them. “Besides, you and I can chat while we cook.”

“About what?” Weiss asked. She already knew the answer.

“Cooking. Duh.” Yang rolled her eyes, chuckling. “You need guidance in my kitchen. Can I get a ‘yes chef’?”

“Not about who we’re cooking for?”

Yang cracked her neck. “We’ll get to that. First things first, can you show me the recipe you’re working with?” When Weiss pointed to her unlocked phone, Yang picked it up, squinting. After turning up the brightness, (Weiss despaired inwardly, cursing her outdated iPhone’s low battery life) Yang swiped back. “First page of Google, huh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” Yang laughed, sliding Weiss’s phone along the counter. It nearly reached the edge, teetering on its pushed-in pop socket. Weiss bit her lips in suspense.

“That’s _so_ condescending, but you still called me pretty, so I’ll allow it.”

“Attagirl. Anyways, has the butter melted enough yet?”

“You tell me,” Weiss said, “I’m unsure how melted is melted enough.”

“If you can’t drink it, you haven’t gone too far. You preheated the oven, right?”

“You’re supposed to turn the heat on when there’s no food inside?”

Yang blinked. “You’ve got a lot to learn, young lady.”

“Aren’t I older than you by several months?”

“Shush.”

Weiss was startled by how quickly she acclimated to Yang’s presence. She’d never anticipated this. As far as she was concerned, Yang would relax around her again once Ruby told her it was fine, maybe after eating some of Weiss’s cookies, but she should have known better. Yang was the closest thing Weiss ever had to a best friend, complete with bickering and teasing. That Yang would come back to her after a few days was as natural as breathing.

It didn’t make it any less painful when Yang elbow checked her with those unfairly huge arms of hers, but to be fair, she kind of deserved it.

“Sorry ‘bout the whole ‘be careful with my sister’ talk,” Yang said as she turned off the mixer. 

“Do not be,” Weiss said quickly. “I should’ve listened more attentively. Had I done so, we wouldn’t be in this debacle.”

“You sure about that?” Yang cracked an egg. Weiss was astonished at how delicate Yang’s burly hands could be. She didn’t spill a drop of yolk or drop any eggshells, like Weiss had when she tried. “I embarrassed the hell out of Ruby when all I wanted to do was mess with you a little.”

“You were messing with me?”

“It was, like, fifty-fifty, to be honest,” Yang smiled. She turned on the mixer, the electric whine filling the room. After beating in the egg and switching off the mixer, Yang spoke again. “Ruby says you tried to put her first while making a bad decision for yourself and that’s why she came crying to me.”

Weiss winced, beginning to stir in the chocolate chips. “I’m well aware I fucked up.”

“Not irreparably.”

“Ruby hasn’t given me a chance to apologize,” said Weiss. “She doesn’t owe me one, of course, but I had hoped that if I made her cookies…”

“She’s easy to bribe with chocolatey baked goods.”

“I’m not trying to bribe her, I-”

“I know, I know,” Yang waved a hand. “If you were, though, you totally could. Ruby’s worse at holding a grudge than you are at cooking.”

“Am I really that terrible?”

“Nah, it’s a low bar. Grab the baking sheets?”

“Fuck, I should’ve been better prepared. Which cabinet are they in?”

Yang pointed her in the right direction. Mercifully, Weiss’s fingers obeyed her, and she did not drop them on the ground. She rinsed her hands and began rolling the chocolate-packed balls of dough into something that finally resembled a cookie.

“Would you like to…?” Weiss left the question hanging in the air.

“Nah,” Yang said. She pressed her plastic hand against the back of her neck. “Don’t wanna clean cookie dough out from between the joints.”

“That makes sense,” Weiss hummed. “Is that when you stopped making cookies for Ruby? When you lost your arm?”

Yang sighed. “A couple of years before that, actually. I still make her cookies sometimes, just not as often as she’d like. It’s a little irritating one-handed, and you know me and my anger issues.”

“It’s really admirable how well you’ve tackled them,” Weiss said. It was true.

“I’m good at tackling shit,” Yang winked. “You, on the other hand, are worse with feelings than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Ren.”

“What are you talking about? Ren’s super good with his emotions. Just because he’s not very expressive doesn’t mean he’s… don’t change the subject on me!”

Weiss plopped another small cookie on the baking sheet. “I wasn’t trying to!”

“Dirty liar,” Yang smiled. “Talk about your feelings already. It’s gonna be harder once the cookies are in the oven and you have to look me in the eye.”

“Ugh,” Weiss muttered. “I just can’t stop thinking about Ruby. She said some nasty transphobic things about herself before storming off, you know?”

“I did not,” Yang said. She leaned against the counter. “Do I wanna know?”

“Not the specifics,” Weiss said, focusing on the dough in her hands. “The long and short of it is that she rightfully accused me of internalized homophobia while denying her own internalized transphobia.”

“That’s honestly kind of a relief.”

“Excuse me?”

“It means you didn’t hurt her,” Yang said. “Or at least you’re not the only one. Ruby’s beating herself up if you’re right.”

“Which I am,” Weiss smiled, “though I can’t say I was helpful. If anything, I think I triggered that internalized transphobia. I was far from eloquent.”

“Awkward little Ice Queen.” Yang ruffled Weiss’s hair. Inwardly, she wailed; her hair would be frizzy for the rest of the day. “At least you’re trying to make up for it. When we first met, you totally would’ve whined and thought you were entirely in the right.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Not reminding you, got it,” Yang chuckled. “Look, just, um, don’t feel obligated to work on Ruby’s issues for her. With her. You’re her girlfriend, not her therapist.”

“She helped me with mine,” Weiss said.

“Ruby helps everyone with everything,” Yang said dismissively, “except for cleaning the bathroom.”

“She gets away with it, too.”

“Sure does.”

“Regardless,” Weiss said, putting the last of the dough on the sheet, “I plan on being there for Ruby when she’s ready to confront her issues and not before then. I shouldn’t have-- God, I should’ve just listened to you.”

Understanding flashed in Yang’s eyes. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right,” Weiss smiled. She slid the sheets into the oven carefully, frightened of burning herself. “Yang?”

“Mhm?”

“Thanks.” Weiss moved in for a hug. “I missed you. Missed being your friend.”

Yang hugged her with her left arm, taking care not to smother the smaller girl. “Anytime. Now get to work cleaning up my kitchen.”

“Wh- hold on a second, _your_ kitchen? Why am _I_ the one cleaning-”

“They’re your cookies, Weissicle,” Yang giggled, gliding past the chest-high divider between the kitchen and living room to lounge on the couch. “You’re in charge of cleanup.” 

“Quit being entirely reasonable,” Weiss grumbled, but nonetheless, with a roll of her eyes, she started washing out the mixer bowl. No matter how much she despised menial labor, someone had to do it, and it had best be her. She’d do it for Ruby. She had to make it up to her somehow.

Weiss shook the thought from her head. Yes, she’d wronged Ruby, but more importantly, _Ruby_ had wronged herself. She didn’t need to prostrate herself for forgiveness or wallow in self-loathing for her misdeeds. She loved Ruby, and the best thing she could do for her was to be there for her when she was ready.

She _did_ have to clean up the kitchen regardless. She just didn’t need to make a big deal about it.

* * *

“...Weiss?” Ruby rubbed her bleary eyes. How late had she slept in?

“It’s me, I’m afraid.”

“Oh.” Ruby blinked. “G’morning, Blake.”

“Afternoon, but I appreciate it. I grabbed you an energy bar so you can take your meds.”

“Aww, Blake, thank you!” Ruby wriggled her way out from underneath the heavy comforter with great difficulty. “You grabbed the chocolate kind, right? I mean, not to be picky when you’re being so nice to me for no reason, but, um-”

“I did,” Blake smiled. “And let’s just keep saying I’m paying you back for hitting up the dispensary that one time.”

“How many weeks ago was that now?”

“Does the passage of time hold any meaning in quarantine?” Blake sighed. “Point is, don’t go feeling guilty just because I woke you up gently.”

Ruby frowned. Her mouth was half-open, ready to take a bite out of her breakfast bar, but she was awake enough that her brain was able to pick up on things unsaid. “So that’s what this is about.”

“It’s not,” Blake said. She leaned back against her arms, the bed dipping under her weight. 

“Mmkay.” Ruby took a bite of her energy bar. After taking the time to gather her thoughts and chew the tough bar, she swallowed. “So what is this about?”

“Does it have to be about anything?”

“You didn’t leave after waking me up, so you’re interested in social interaction,” Ruby said, “and you’re not on your phone checking your AO3 for comments, so it’s gotta be something serious.”

“Can’t I just want to chat? We never chat.”

“That’s the point!” Ruby smirked. “We never chat except when it’s serious. Like, sure, we spend a lot of time together on the porch or the couch or at the kitchen table, but we never _talk._ ”

“What do you expect, putting a pair of introverts together?”

“I dunno.” Ruby shrugged. “Whatever. Spill the beans.”

Blake sighed, flopping back on the bed. Her hair spilled out behind her like black tentacles. “I was thinking we could commiserate and support one another with our mutual self-loathing.”

“I don’t hate myself.”

“Ruby…”

“I don’t!” Ruby crossed her arms, then quickly uncrossed them upon realizing her energy bar was stuck to her sleeve. “I mean, everybody has things they want to change about themselves. That’s part of being human. Faunus. My bad.”

Blake flicked an ear. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Roger that.”

Blake rose to her elbows. “This is kind of hard to say, but, um, you’re not the only one with body image issues, Ruby.”

“What? You? But you’re-”

Blake held up a hand and Ruby’s mouth clamped shut. She distracted herself by taking another bite of her bar as Blake cracked her neck. “My hair,” Blake admits softly. “I’ve wanted to cut it all off for ages.”

“Can relate,” Ruby said, her mouth half-full. “Both about hair and about cutting other things-”

“Wait your turn,” Blake chided. “Long hair is a pain. It takes ages to dry, it gets tangled, and the amount of times I’ve laid down on my own hair and pulled on it by accident is more than I’d like to share. It’s not worth the trouble.”

Ruby nodded along, taking another bite of her breakfast bar. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Every time I’ve decided to cut it I’ve chickened out. First Yang complimented my hair a few days before my appointment and snuggled into it, told me my hair was soft and my shampoo smelled nice.”

“That’s kind of mean of her.”

“She didn’t know,” Blake said. “And coming from her, any sort of compliment on my hair is high praise.”

“Good point.”

“Anyways,” Blake cleared her throat, “the next time I canceled my appointment was when I decided to stop wearing my bows.”

Ruby gave a solemn nod. She knew just how complicated Blake’s feelings were on the years when she’d hidden her heritage, and while Ruby couldn’t relate, she felt an odd kinship with Blake nonetheless. She’d hidden aspects of her identity too.

“My reasoning was stupid, but I figured that just because I was done wearing bows didn’t mean I wanted to present less feminine. Just like that, the long hair stayed.”

“I feel you,” Ruby said. “I’ve never really had long hair, and early in my transition I tried really hard to make up for it by always wearing skirts and never pants and oh crap I’m making this all about me, please continue.”

Blake chuckled. “It’s fine. I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

“Me too. Heh.” Ruby knit her eyebrows. “It’s funny? Because you like reading books ‘n stuff?”

“...Didn’t notice that,” Blake muttered. “After dating your sister for all this time, I should be prepared for puns.”

“Yeah, that is weird,” Ruby affirmed. The room fell into an awkward silence.

“Anyways,” Blake said, “the next time I wanted to cut my hair I decided against it because winter was coming-”

“Weiss’s sister Winter or the season?”

“The season. I didn’t want the back of my neck to get cold.”

“Makes sense.”

“I was going to finally do it in the spring, but with this whole pandemic…” Blake trailed off. “It’s going to be a while.”

“That’s rough.”

“I knew you’d understand.” Blake sat up. “Do you think I can understand where you’re coming from, now, with your own body image issues?”

A series of expressions flashed across Ruby’s face in quick succession. Shock, anger, confusion, consideration, determination. She stared at the wall.

“Maybe it’s psychological,” Blake mused. “I _know_ there’s self-loathing in there that you don’t want to touch because it’s going to hurt and it feels like no one understands, but you’re not going to make any progress by burying it.”

“Fuck you for being right,” Ruby snapped.

“I get that this is hard, but there’s no better time for self-reflection. What else are we supposed to do, stuck inside all day?”

“Smoke weed.”

“It’s an excellent way to cover up self-loathing, Ruby,” said Blake. “Why do you think I do it so much?”

“...Oh.”

“It just makes it worse in the end,” Blake sighed. “When it wears off I find myself even more resentful. It’s an escape, running away from my problems, and I’ve always been a coward.”

“You’re not a coward,” Ruby said gently. “You’re just a scaredy-cat.”

“Okay, now _that’s_ a little too far,” Blake smirked. 

“Fair enough. Sorry about that.”

“I wish I had more willpower,” Blake said, continuing on as if nothing had happened. “It’s not good for my lungs and it’s not good for my mental health, but I just keep coming back to it and I get so angry at myself, but the thing is, Ruby, that anger isn’t productive. It just tarnishes my high. Beating myself up about smoking isn’t making me smoke less and it just makes me feel bad.”

“I’m sorry,” said Ruby.

Blake shook her head, waves of raven hair rippling. “Don’t be. It’s not your problem. My point,” she said, poking Ruby in the center of her chest, “is that self-loathing is unproductive. If you’re going to feel bad about something, at least talk it out with somebody, okay?”

Ruby opened her mouth before seeming to think better of it. She scarfed down the last of her breakfast bar.

“Here are the facts.” Blake pulled her legs underneath her until she was sitting cross-legged on the side of the bed. “You’ve said Weiss didn’t mean to hurt you, but she did. Something she did or said got under your skin and you were triggered. There’s no shame in that.”

“So?”

“Weiss didn’t exactly hurt you,” Blake said slowly, as if she was struggling to find a proper way to phrase her thoughts. “She just touched something inside you where you were already hurting yourself.”

“I-” Ruby choked. “Those are the facts, huh?”

“Unless I’ve gotten something wrong,” Blake said gently. “You’re pushing down self-loathing and it can’t stay there forever.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to,” Blake said. She put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder. When Ruby didn’t shake it off, she continued. “Not now. Not to me. But someday, to someone, you’re going to have to talk this through, because otherwise it’s not going to go away, no matter how hard you try to bury it, and knowing how much you value speed, sooner is better.

“Stop being so goddamn right all the time,” Ruby grumbled.

“Stop being so mean to yourself and maybe I will,” Blake retorted. “You’re like a sister to me, Ruby. I care about you.”

“If I’m like your sister, it’s kinda weird that you’re dating _my_ sister, ‘cause by the transitive property-”

“I’ll be your sister _in-law_ someday, okay?” Blake groaned. “Maybe I’ll dye the end of my hair red after I get it cut just to fuck with you.”

“Okay, that would probably be weirder for Yang-”

“You’re impossible,” Blake scoffed. “Not just for that, but because I’ve bared my soul while you still haven’t told me what’s eating you up inside.”

“I…” Ruby trailed off. She pulled the blankets a little higher up her body, despite Blake weighing them down. “You’re cis. You wouldn’t get it.”

“So is Weiss,” Blake said. “You’re going to need to talk to her about this because she thinks she hurt you.”

“I tried! She didn’t get it!” Ruby snapped. “Did she put you up to this? Blake, I swear-”

“No, Ruby, she didn’t,” Blake said. “And of _course_ she didn’t get it. She’s been sheltered her entire life. Not talking to her isn’t going to make anything better for _either_ of you, because every moment you spend in bed hating yourself is a moment Weiss spends hating _herself_ for hurting you.”

“Blake-”

“You just told me she didn’t get it,” Blake said. She squeezed Ruby’s shoulder. “Because she doesn’t get it, she thinks you’re mad at her.”

“I _am_ mad at her.”

“You’re _more_ mad at yourself, aren’t you?”

Ruby met Blake’s eyes. Her lip was quivering. “Fuck you for being right.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ruby chuckled. She squeezed a tear out of the corner of one eye. “Thanks, Blake.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Hugs?” Ruby spread her arms.

“Hugs,” Blake affirmed, wrapping the smaller girl in a brief embrace. 

“I really have to talk to Weiss, huh?” Ruby said, knitting her eyebrows. “That’s…”

“It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.”

“I know, I know, I just don’t want to get out of bed.”

“There’s no rush,” said Blake. “Aside from your usual Sonic the Hedgehog instincts.”

“Gotta go fast,” Ruby said, rolling her eyes.

“Your aesthetic is more Shadow, though.”

“Are you going to bully me until I get up?”

“That’s also what friends are for.”

“Goddamnit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half the time I feel like “hell yeah, dialogue is my strong suit” and then I have a dialogue-heavy chapter like this one and I feel like everyone talks like an alien. I’ve been watching too much Buffy lately.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Difficult conversations, discussions of sex, internalized transphobia, and internalized homophobia.

_DING!_

“I’ll get it!” Yang barked, leaping off the couch. An imprint of her body remained against the pleather.

“They’re my cookies,” Weiss said, moving towards the kitchen. “I’ll get them out of the oven, not you.”

“Do you see an oven mitt anywhere ‘round here, girlie?” Yang chuckled. She flexed the fingers on her prosthetic hand. “Leave this to the professionals.”

“You’re not _really_ going to-” Weiss’s face contorted with disbelief. “Yang, are you sure…” Her voice trailed off. All she could do was stare in perverse fascination as Yang nonchalantly grabbed the hot baking sheet with her bare right hand and set it down atop the oven. “That cannot be good for the circuitry.”

Yang flicked her wrist as if to cool it off. “Perks of having an engineer for a sister, am I right?”

“I _guess,"_ Weiss said, despite the fact that _no,_ she did _not_ guess, that _had_ to be some sort of violation of whatever instruction manual came with Yang’s _Polendina_ -brand arm. There was no doubt in Weiss’s mind that if Penny could see her father’s handiwork misused in such a manner, she would swoon and faint on the spot. “How long do we have to let them cool?”

“Four to six business days,” Yang said breezily.

“I’m serious.”

“When are you not?”

“Yang…”

Yang shrugged. “I dunno. Ruby’d probably eat ‘em straight off the pan if I let her.”

“That is _not_ happening.” Weiss shook her head, then stood on her tiptoes to reach open the cabinets and grab a navy blue plate. She didn’t often mind her short stature, especially since she could just wear heels, but moments like these always irked her. “I don’t know how to treat somebody for internal second-degree burns.”

“Do you know how to treat external second-degree burns?”

“Apply ice?” Weiss ventured. 

Yang paused for a moment. “According to my research, and by _re_ I mean _Google,_ that’s a bad idea unless it’s a minor burn.”

“Are you telling me I’m wrong?”

“Yep.” Yang popped the _P._

“Well, that’s good information to know,” Weiss seethed. “Tell me, why didn’t you tie back your hair before reaching into a hot oven?”

“Fire cannot kill a dragon,” Yang smirked.

“I’ll have you know that in the _books_ that when Daenerys strode into the flames, her hair burned as easily as her clothes.”

“Aww, I’m sorry, am I mocking the only white-haired young woman representation you’ve got?” Yang took a step towards Weiss, towering over the smaller woman.

“If you pat my head, Xiao Long, I’ll have yours.”

Yang ruffled her hair anyways. For a moment, Weiss wanted to push her head up against Yang’s palm, show her how much she liked the attention, but she decided against it. Yang was perceptive enough to see she hadn’t crossed any real boundaries.

“Anyway, um.” Weiss cleared her throat. “Do you think the cookies are cool enough yet?”

“They’re super cool ‘cause we made them together. The secret ingredient is the magic of friendship.”

“Yang,” Weiss sighed, squeezing past her to set the plate down next to the baking sheet. “I just want to know if I can put them on a plate for Ruby without burning my fingers.”

“Did somebody say my name?”

“Rubes!”

“Ruby?” A jolt of electricity shot up Weiss’s spine. It took her brain a moment to recalibrate from blaring _Ruby! Ruby!_ over and over before she could think clearly again. “Ruby!”

“Hey, girls,” Ruby said weakly. Weiss allowed herself a moment to rake her eyes up and down her girlfriend’s body. The oversized beige sweater threatened to swallow her up, the sleeves covering her hands entirely, and it reached halfway down her thighs, covering up whatever sleep shorts she was wearing underneath. “What smells so good?”

“Yang and-”

“Weiss made you cookies,” Yang said. She leaned against the kitchen counter, looking back and forth between her sister and her best friend. “I’ll just get out of your hair.”

“No, it’s fine,” Ruby said. Weiss almost forgot to pay attention to her words for a moment. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed hearing Ruby’s voice. “Don’t leave on my account. I was just gonna go brush my teeth and then go to my room.”

“Can I meet you there?” Weiss asked. “Once the cookies have cooled, if-if you’re okay with that?”

“You know I can’t say no to cookies, Weiss,” Ruby smiled. Weiss, thinking so hard about what to say that she forgot to speak, noticed the awkward silence. Before she could break it herself or suffer one of Yang’s dad jokes, the bathroom door had clicked shut and Ruby was nowhere to be seen.

Yang clapped Weiss on the back, startling her out of her stupor. “It’s all in your hands now, Snow Angel. Go get her.”

“While I appreciate the encouragement, I _guess,_ why do you sound like you’re about to walk away? The living room is all yours.”

Yang chuckled. “I’ve got places to be, people to see, and things to do.”

“We’re still in quarantine.”

Yang rolled her eyes as she made her way to her room. “Fine. _A_ place to be, _a_ person to see, and _a_ thing to do.”

“Okay…?” Weiss frowned. A moment later, she was alone with a baking sheet of fresh cookies and an empty plate. Swiping a bright yellow spatula, she got to work prying the cookies off the sheet one by one, noting how soft they were. She was almost tempted to take a bite out of one herself, just to see if it tasted as good as it looked, but the thought of Ruby walking in on her eating the cookies made specifically for her turned her off the idea pretty quickly.

As she walked back to her room, she could faintly hear the whirring of Ruby’s electric toothbrush. The sound bounced around in her empty head as she sat down on her bed, the cool bottom of the plate resting against her bare thighs. Her nightdress had ridden up, but she couldn’t bring herself to fix it.

She caught herself bouncing her leg, not unlike how Ruby did whenever she was nervous, excited, or awake. Stilling her leg, all that nervous energy spread through the rest of her body. She should pull up the speech she’d prepared for Ruby so that she’d at least have _something_ to say without sounding anxious or flustered. She still didn’t know what to say in response to however Ruby reacted.

Weiss was about to set the cookies aside and start pacing back and forth when the doorknob turned and her heart shot into her throat. Hopefully she could hear Ruby over the sound of her own throbbing pulse.

“H-hey, Weiss,” Ruby said. She held an arm across her chest, wrinkling her sweater. “May I please have a cookie?”

 _Knock yourself out,_ Weiss wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. She held up the plate of cookies instead, eyes transfixed on Ruby’s elegant fingers as they slipped out of her overlong sleeves to nab a cookie. She sat down on her own bed across from Weiss, nibbling on an exposed chocolate chip.

“You can have the whole plate if you want,” Weiss offered. Ruby shook her head. “Oh. Okay. Just, um, grab another whenever you want.”

“I’m sorry for sulking,” Ruby said. It took Weiss a moment to shift gears and realize what she was talking about. “I overreacted. I was scared and I couldn’t tell what I was thinking and feeling and I just had to get away for a bit. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t blame you for anything,” Weiss said. She pulled her legs underneath her body. “I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be. You didn’t-”

“I hurt you, Ruby,” Weiss said. “I know I didn’t mean to, but I should’ve been prepared for a powerful negative reaction, given that you’re dysphoric and-”

“It’s not about my dysphoria, Weiss,” Ruby said softly. “Not this time, ‘kay? That’s not why I freaked out on you. Well, not _entirely,_ at least, so-”

“I wrote up an apology,” Weiss explained, pulling out her phone. “I gathered my thoughts and my research and it should be a lot more clear and straightforward if I can just follow my script.”

“Weiss,” Ruby sighed. “Can I-”

“Eat your cookies. Talk after.”

“Can I talk first?”

Weiss frowned, but nodded her assent. Her heart pounded in her throat.

“So, um.” Ruby swallowed a piece of her cookie. “Wow, this is good.”

“Thank you,” Weiss said automatically. “Do you want to put this off? Is that-”

“No! No, I just, ah, figured you should know.” Ruby blushed. “Before talking, I mean. Do you-”

“I understand,” Weiss said. She held a clenched hand to her chest, took a breath, and exhaled slowly. “Are you ready?”

“Mhm. Thanks for asking.” Ruby took a deep breath. “I, uh, so basically, I was really scared that doing, um, y’know, sex would gross you out for a really long time, so when you said you wanted to, uh, _do it,_ I couldn’t reconcile everything in my brain and flipped a bunch of switches. I started feeling reallyguiltyforwantingtodoit and Icouldn’tstopfeelinglikeagrossdude and didn’twanttomakeyoufeelvulnerable and-”

“Breathe, Ruby,” Weiss said.

“I felt like what _I_ wanted and what my _body_ wanted were two different things,” Ruby said. “I… It made me feel really bad about myself. It’s not anything you said or did, and I shouldn’t have hid from you after.”

Weiss’s eyebrows knit. “Don’t apologize for that.”

“I left you all alone and you thought it was all your fault. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“I put you into an uncomfortable situation. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Neither do you!”

“How about we both apologize?” Weiss held up the plate of cookies as a peace offering. “Please?”

“Works for me.” Ruby smiled weakly. “I’m sorry I left you alone during quarantine.”

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable,” Weiss said, “and for triggering your dysphoria, and for making you worry that I was fetishizing you, or making some sort of mistake, or-or, uh, I think I have more in my script-”

“Forget the script, Weiss.”

“That’s the _issue.”_ Weiss rolled her eyes. “If I could just remember what I wrote-”

“Actually, just read it.” Ruby sighed. “Um, if it’s not too much to ask, can I have another cookie?”

Weiss’s heart melted. She hadn’t seen Ruby so timid in ages. Once Ruby had her cookie and Weiss had her phone unlocked, she cleared her throat, blinked to check that her contact was still on her bad eye, and started to read. “Ruby,

“Please accept my apologies for everything that transpired the other day. I will make no excuses for my behavior and plan to refrain from offering an explanation, as such attempts to provide context more often than not ring hollow in the ears of one who has been wronged, such as you. I’m sorry for-”

Weiss cut herself off. “Uh, it’s just things I’ve already apologized for. Sorry about that.”

Ruby gave her a thumbs-up. A crumb of cookie dropped from her lips and the sight was so distracting Weiss nearly forgot what she was doing.

“In the hours since our confrontation, I have considered your words carefully and done research to better understand your point of view, in addition to a non-negligible amount of soul-searching on my own internalized homophobia. Through all of this, I’ve found that you were correct in one regard; I was placing undue value on p-penis-in-vagina sex when it is no more special than any other intimate act, from manual sex to public hand-holding.”

Weiss’s eyes flicked up at Ruby, hoping she was taking it well, and she wasn’t disappointed. The younger girl’s shoulders were less tense than they had been when she’d entered the room, and rather than bouncing her leg, she was swinging both of them back and forth like a child, her toes brushing against the carpeted floor. As much as Weiss wanted to keep looking, enjoy the sight of her girlfriend’s comfort after three days, she had more to say.

“All of this being said, however, over the course of my research, I found myself exploring internalized transphobia-”

“Weiss,” Ruby snapped. Her feet were planted squarely on the ground. “You brought this up last time, it’s not going to-”

“You said ‘no real woman would use her dick on a lesbian,’ Ruby, which is demonstrably false and heterosexist. If you can recognize my own flawed thought processes and help me fix them-”

“I don’t have to take-”

“Would it make a difference if I were trans too?” Weiss locked her phone. She met Ruby’s eyes briefly, taking care not to stare. She wanted to rest her hand on Ruby’s shoulder, give it a gentle squeeze and offer whatever poor excuse for comfort she could. If only their beds were a little closer. “Would you still think your wants were wrong, that I, inevitably, as a lesbian, wouldn’t want you because of it?”

“That’s different,” Ruby mumbled. “It’s more-- there’s less of an imbalance, and-and there’s a shared experience there which changes-”

“The difference, Ruby, is that you’re holding yourself to a different standard because you’re trans and I’m cis.” Weiss tossed her phone beside her, abandoning her script. Leaving the plate of cookies behind her, she moved from the bed to the floor, just close enough to clasp Ruby’s fidgeting hands in her own. The younger woman flinched at her touch, but didn’t push her away. “A double standard isn’t a good look on you.”

Ruby buried her face in her shoulder. “Weiss-”

“I’m putting this as delicately as I can, but if you were cis and I heard you saying what you’re saying--which, for the record, Ruby, is ‘trans women comfortable with penetration are inherently predatory’--I would call you a transphobe and tell you to _stop disrespecting my girlfriend._ ” Weiss squeezed her hands, staring up into Ruby’s wide silver eyes. 

Ruby swallowed. Blinked. Her eyes were watery. She released a shaky breath.

“If it’s something you don’t want for yourself, that’s rational. If you really believe that trans lesbian couples sleeping together with what they’ve got is wrong, or if it means something different when one party is cis, that’s not okay, Ruby.”

Ruby swallowed. “That’s how it f-feels though.”

“So your gut feelings are to deny yourself and your trans sisters womanhood based on how you choose to have sex?”

“Yes, because-”

“For somebody so smart, you’re frustratingly thick when you want to be.”

“Weiss?”

“Yes?”

“Stop being mean to me.”

“I will stop being mean to you,” Weiss said, rising to her feet. She rubbed circles with her thumb against Ruby’s knuckle. “When you stop being mean to yourself.”

Ruby blinked up at Weiss. She wrenched away an arm to wipe at her eyes, sniffled, and sighed. “F-for the record, you said some messed-up things yourself the last time we talked.”

“I’ve been working on that.” Weiss brushed it aside. She had time for that later, once she’d convinced Ruby to stop being willfully obtuse. The room was filled with an electric tension Weiss couldn’t quite cut through, no matter how sharp or gentle the words she chose. It felt like Ruby was made of ice, that she might shatter if Weiss made any sudden movement, but by that same token, Weiss couldn’t get through to her without cold words to keep her from melting. “You’ve been helping me with my own issues this whole quarantine. Let me help you this time.”

Ruby wiped away another tear and set her face. “Okay. Alright then. Convince me.”

“You’re concerned I’m going to hate the entire experience. Aren’t you conveniently forgetting that plenty of lesbians enjoy penetration with toys?”

“Toys are completely different, Weiss, don’t compare-”

“Why not?” Weiss shook Ruby’s fist. “You just don’t need to strap it on before we-”

“Lesbians aren’t exactly known for being interested in fleshy, blood-filled dicks, Weiss, don’t try to tell me-”

“I’m interested in the woman it’s attached to!” Weiss snapped. “There. Right there. Do you see how cissexist you’re being? I shouldn’t have to be the one to tell you this, you know. You of all people should understand that you’re ascribing-”

“You’re the one who called penetration ‘the most intimate act you can imagine’ or whatever it was you said,” Ruby snarled. At least, Weiss assumed it was meant to be a snarl. It came out closer to a whimper. “Some people really, really don’t want that-”

“Neither of us are _some people,_ we both-”

“And you’re implying that any couple who _can’t_ do penetration is missing out on something special. Do you think cis lesbians who use strap-ons are missing out because they can’t feel each other? You admitted you put too much value on this one thing, so why can’t you-”

“Ruby!” Weiss huffed. “Just because it means something to _me_ doesn’t mean I would apply it universally-”

“So you’re holding a double standard of your own?”

“I want to fuck you, Ruby.” She pulled her girlfriend to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist as she stared up at Ruby’s wild eyes. “I want you, and I know you want me too. That’s all the relevant information you need right now, okay? Not our respective identities and dynamics therein, just that I love you, Ruby Rose, and I want to make love to you. That’s it.” She could feel her heart hammering against her ribcage. Holding Ruby like this, close enough to feel the heat radiating off her body, the shaky rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, Weiss could feel Ruby’s heartbeat too. It pounded just as fast as hers, nearly in sync.

Weiss felt Ruby inhale, saw her open her mouth to speak, and cut her off. “I’ll work on this if you can too,” she breathed. “I’ll work to view penetration as something no more special than any other sex act if you can do that too. Neither uniquely special nor uniquely wrong. Just one act out of many. Can you do that?”

Ruby exhaled. 

“Not for me. For both of us. Please?”

“Kiss me?” Ruby mumbled.

“Is that a yes?”

Ruby didn’t respond immediately. After the longest seven seconds of Weiss’s life, she leaned down to press a quick peck against her lips. After all that buildup, Weiss would’ve felt disappointed if it hadn’t been for the way the tension in the room snapped like a rubber band and violently derailed her train of consciousness. 

“Wow,” Weiss breathed. She hadn’t meant to say that.

“I think that maybe we can handle it,” Ruby said. Her voice was soft, nearly inaudible. “If you’re sure you’re sure.”

“I’m sure that I’m sure I’m sure,” Weiss said. “Dead certain.”

“Even if it’s not special?”

“Not special,” Weiss repeated. She could feel adrenaline in her fingertips. “It’s not special, it just really turns me on personally? The idea of mutual pleasure, and-and knowing it’s you, getting to feel you, all of it.”

“I… Okay. I’m into it too,” Ruby breathed. She sucked in a breath through her teeth, squeezing Weiss tighter against her body. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s my body and my girlfriend who I love very much. We both want this. It’s okay.”

“It’s okay,” Weiss repeated. She tucked her head into the hollow of Ruby’s throat, nuzzling into her sweater. “I’m here.”

Ruby sniffled. Weiss squeezed her tighter. She never wanted to let go. Not after everything they’d just been through. After days apart, so close in the cramped apartment yet impossibly far away, she couldn’t stand another second outside the gentle circle of Ruby’s arms. She was as warm and comforting as a hearthfire on a winter’s night and a thousand times more precious.

“I love you,” Ruby whispered. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

“‘Me too’ to which one?”

“Both.”

They stood there together in silence for some time. There were no words left for them to say that had not already been said. Nothing left but closeness and quiet companionship. Slowly but surely, Ruby shifted backward, falling onto her red comforter, and Weiss followed into her lap. Weiss wanted to say something obvious, like ‘this is nice,’ or ‘you feel so good in my arms,’ or ‘I love cuddling with you,’ but in her heart, some part of her understood that Ruby already knew.

“Blake!”

Weiss’s eyes bulged. “Ruby, did you hear-”

“Shh!”

“Yes, Blake!”

“Is that coming-”

“-from Yang?”

“Who else could it be in this four-person apartment, Ruby?” Weiss snapped. She slid off of Ruby’s lap. “I doubt Blake would cry out her own name-”

“They _planned_ this,” Ruby breathed, pressing a palm against her chest. “Blake and Yang tried to get us to make up so they could have their room all to themselves again and-”

Weiss facepalmed. “You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me.”

“They played us like-like-- God, I don’t even know!” Ruby buried her head in her hands. “Are we really going to let them do this?”

“Do _you_ want to go talk to them right now?”

“Good point.”

Weiss groaned. Ruby giggled, and despite her irritation and emotions running high, Weiss couldn’t help but crack a smile of her own. “At least you’re staying here with me tonight.”

“Yeah, I’ve missed having a bed to myself.”

“Or,” Weiss offered, “we could share your bed? Or mine? I’m not picky, I just want to-”

“Now that you mention it,” Ruby smiled. Her cheeks were nearly dry. “That is, uh, definitely not something I’m gonna say no to.”

Weiss’s heart fluttered in her chest. Somehow, she knew Ruby could tell.

“Could I have some more of the cookies you made, please?”

“Oh, Ruby,” Weiss sighed. “Of course. They’re made with love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they fuckin' talked it out y'all


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: nudity, grinding, finger sucking, coming in underwear, and Ruby's terrible sense of humor.

Weiss awoke squeezed between the wall and her girlfriend.

Under other circumstances, she might have complained. The wall was cold against the bare skin of her shoulder, while Ruby’s body heat threatened to leave her sweating. She could barely move, not without pushing Ruby away from her and possibly off of her small single mattress. Ruby wasn’t even spooning her, but laying on her back with her arms and legs tangled in Weiss’s, her sleep mask pushed up over a single closed eye. Her ribs dug into Weiss’s chest. Somehow, Weiss wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Some part of her wanted to get up. To stretch until her body was awake, shower off the sleepiness and sweat, and subsequently journal. Her morning routine had kept her sane throughout the quarantine, especially in Ruby’s absence.

She supposed she didn’t really need it now. Not when Ruby was sleeping right beside her, warm and soft and plush. With a sleepy grumble, Weiss rolled her shoulders, yawned, and pushed herself away from the wall and further into Ruby’s tangled mess of lanky limbs and pillowy curves. The dull lizard part of her brain, the only part that could reasonably be called “awake,” told Weiss to grope her girlfriend, so she did. The flesh of Ruby’s bottom felt so pliant in her hands. She’d missed this.

Ruby frowned and grumbled in her sleep. Before Weiss could freeze, afraid she’d woken her lover from her peaceful slumber, Ruby shifted onto her side, wrapping Weiss in her arms and pressing her more tightly against the wall. She hummed in her sleep.

Weiss would have chastised her for it if she wasn’t so goddamn happy.

* * *

Somehow, Weiss managed to wriggle out of bed without waking her girlfriend. It was a horrid, awful experience she never wanted to go through again, but the incessant nagging of her bladder and the growling in her stomach forced her hand. She would have rejoined Ruby in bed, but upon leaving the bathroom, she could hear noise in the kitchen.

“Mornin’, Snow Angel,” Yang hummed. She flipped a pancake nonchalantly. “You hungry?”

Blake took a noisy sip from her teacup, alerting Weiss to her presence. “I sure am.”

“And that’s why you’re banned from my kitchen, honey.”

“Um,” Weiss said. “Food.”

Yang laughed. Weiss wanted to prickle, to stick her nose haughtily in the air and scoff at the taller woman, but she was either too tired or too content to bother. 

“Smells nice,” Weiss offered, making her way into the small kitchen. Doing her best to stay out of Yang’s way, she grabbed a glass, cracked open the freezer, and dropped three ice cubes into her cup with a _clink._

“I don’t know how you can handle that,” Blake drawled, stirring her tea. “Ice water on a brisk April morning? No thank you.”

“It wakes me up,” Weiss said. She had to duck under one of Yang’s huge biceps to reach the sink and fill her glass, but the blonde merely chuckled at the contact. “Ice water tastes better, too, and why am I even defending myself right now?”

Yang cracked up. As irritating as it was, Weiss had to admit it was kind of cute, as far as laughs went. Not as cute as Ruby’s obviously, but still. She almost didn’t want to wipe the smile off Yang’s face. 

“I can’t believe you’re laughing at me after that stunt you pulled last night.”

“Beg pardon?” Blake’s ears flattened against her head.

“I’m with Blakey here,” Yang smiled. She flipped a pancake, a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead. “What do you mean?”

“These walls are far from thick.” Weiss couldn’t tell if Yang’s blush came from the hot griddle or from embarrassment, but she had an inkling. A smug smile spread across her lips. “Aww, you can dish it out but you can’t take it, hmm?”

“Shut your face.”

“No,” Weiss smirked. “I want to relish this. You’re not an easy woman to fluster, Yang Xiao Long.”

“Do you want pancakes or not?”

“Fair enough,” Weiss shrugged, sauntering into the kitchen. Were she Ruby, she would have pulled herself up to sit on the counter, swinging her legs to and fro like a child, but Weiss was subtler than that. She leaned against the counter a couple feet from Yang, smiling at the taller woman. “That being said, if I were in your situation-”

“I was high, okay?” Yang grumbled.

“Yang Xiao Long!” Weiss marveled. “Seems once you got Ruby out of your hair you’re really living your best quarantine life.”

“She did it for me, Weiss.” Blake rolled her eyes. She had moved from her chair to the divider between the kitchen and living room, bent at the waist. “We did those edibles you picked up for me together.”

Weiss’s eyes flashed. “So the two of you ‘got lit and got laid,’ so to speak?”

“Never say that again,” Blake deadpanned. 

“No regrets,” Yang said through gritted teeth.

“Anyways,” Weiss said. She’d embarrassed her friends enough. “Blake, what’s the difference between smoking and an edible?”

“I could show you.”

“I’m an auditory learner. Lecture me.”

Blake pondered for a moment. “It’s the difference between diving into a pool and being pushed into a pool by someone else.”

“I’m sure that’s an excellent metaphor, but it doesn’t really explain anything,” Weiss said. “This is what I get for asking the woman who waxes poetic in fanfiction-”

“For the last time, stay off my AO3!” Blake snapped, reaching across the divider to playfully slap at Weiss. Several locks of long white hair swished back and forth. “That’s embarrassing!”

“If it’s embarrassing, why do you post-”

“Girls, girls, you’re both pretty.” Yang flipped a pancake. “And crowding my kitchen.”

“My apologies, chef,” Blake said. She raised her hands, open-palmed, in deference. “What’s gotten into you? You’re more argumentative than usual.”

“It’s ‘cause she’s happy,” Yang said. “By the way, Weiss, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing the chocolate chips?”

No sooner had Weiss done as she was bid than Ruby wandered into the living room, seemingly summoned by the crinkle of the chocolate chip bag. Weiss tightened her grip, though whether she was trying not to drop the bag in shock or to guard it from her girlfriend’s sweet tooth, she could not say. 

Ruby had tied her short hair back in a ponytail, red tips held aloft above her messy black hair. It wasn’t holding very well, but it exposed her lovely silver eyes perfectly. Her baggy plaid pajamas accented her hips, and she wore that damn too-tight black tank top. If she hadn’t been wiping drool off her lower lip, Weiss would have wanted to kiss her, audience be damned. _Then again,_ Weiss thought, _I’ve tasted Ruby’s saliva before. Why not do it again? It’s Ruby’s, after all, what harm could it be?_

Weiss slapped herself internally. _No. Not this early in the morning. Please._

“What smells so good?” Ruby asked, dragging herself up onto the kitchen counter. She swung her legs back and forth despite her sleepiness. “Yang? Are you making pancakes?”

“Yup!” Yang popped the P. “They’re almost done, too. You wanna grab some plates? ‘Cause you’re sitting right in front of that cabinet.”

Ruby twisted around and tried to open the cabinet. The door caught on her thigh. Sighing, she let go, resting her elbows on her knees. “In a minute. I’m comfy.”

“Ruby,” Weiss sighed.

“We’ve got time,” Blake shrugged. “Not taking those pancakes off the griddle for another minute or two, right, Yang?”

“Where’s the harm in being prepared?” Weiss shot back.

“I just got outta bed, I don’t wanna move.”

“Come now, Ruby, just-”

“There are _too many people in my kitchen!”_ Yang groaned. She threw her head back, staring at the ceiling. “Shoo! C’mon, get!”

Ruby grumbled something under her breath, but Weiss took her hand as she slid off the counter, and that seemed to make up for it. The two of them joined Blake around the foldable card table, but somehow Blake had claimed the couch for her own, forcing Weiss onto Ruby’s lap on the old armchair. Where previously Ruby might’ve been uncomfortable with the closeness, or Weiss with being so affectionate in front of others, looking at them now, it would have been hard to believe they weren’t always this cuddly.

Weiss brushed a loose red-tipped hair behind Ruby’s ear. It had fallen out of her ponytail. Then, for good measure, she quickly pressed her lips to Ruby’s forehead as the younger woman nuzzled into her neck. It was all she could do not to let out a sigh of contentment.

When Yang arrived at the table, pancakes in hand, Ruby practically cheered. If Weiss hadn’t been in her lap, she was certain Ruby would have bounced with joy. After making a couple more trips to and from the kitchen, Yang joined Blake on the couch, brushed her nose against her girlfriend’s, and handed Ruby the maple syrup. 

Weiss didn’t remember handing Yang the chocolate chips, but there they were, neatly placed in circles at the center of each pancake. Ruby nearly washed hers away in a flood of syrup, watching in fascination as viscous fluid rolled over the pancake, dragging along the chocolate chips. As much as Weiss wanted to chastise her for her childish glee, Weiss felt the same. She was just better at hiding it than Ruby, who wore her heart on her sleeve.

The pancakes were fluffy. It was the best meal she had eaten since before the quarantine.

* * *

Weiss had hoped she and Ruby could last a little longer before falling back into bed, hands and lips all over one another, but she couldn’t exactly say she was disappointed. Ruby tasted of maple syrup, and kissing her was so delicious that Weiss briefly considered begging Yang on her hands and knees to make them every day.

Weiss drove her thigh between Ruby’s legs, brushing up against her arousal. She felt Ruby tense beneath her. Experimenting, Weiss pulled her leg away as she licked into Ruby’s mouth, relishing the sweet taste of her, and was rewarded for her efforts; Ruby whimpered. She could feel her voice resonate in her chest.

“Oop!” Weiss blinked. How had she ended up on her back? Ruby straddled her hips, digging her teeth into Weiss’s shoulder, provoking a hiss.

“I missed this,” Ruby said between kisses. “Feeling you, hearing you, all of it.”

“The feeling is--ah!--mutual,” Weiss gasped. Ruby had caught her off-guard, slipping her dexterous fingers up underneath Weiss’s shirt and brushing delicately against her ribcage. At first she thought Ruby’s fingers were cold, but Weiss’s skin was just hot and pink with excitement. “If you’re going to reach under my shirt, I might as well just take it off,” Weiss offered.

Ruby whined at the thought. “Yes please.”

Weiss snickered. “So polite.”

“Should I not be?” Ruby asked, pulling Weiss’s top over her head and down her arms. “Do you want me to be rude and just touch you?”

 _Yes! Duh!_ Weiss thought. “And what if I do?”

The cruel curve of Ruby’s smile sent a jolt of excitement down Weiss’s spine. “We’ll see.”

Weiss couldn’t hold back her voice when Ruby twisted her nipples. Her grip was tight and it almost hurt, but it was fucking worth it.

“So you want me to… just, ah, have my way with you?” Ruby murmured. One of her hands found Weiss’s hipbone, and the touch nearly had her bucking her hips. “To touch you, and strip you as I see fit?”

Weiss shuddered. The best response she could give was a nod.

“That’s pretty slutty of you, Weiss.” Ruby tweaked her nipple. “Is-is that too rude? Should I not-”

Weiss shook her head frantically.

“Okay, but, like, is that ‘no, it’s not too rude,’ or ‘no, that’s too much,’ or-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Weiss breathed.

“O-okay.” Ruby slipped Weiss’s pajama pants down her legs with her free hand, running her fingertips along Weiss’s soft thigh. “If you want me to stop-”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Weiss mumbled, blushing at her admission. “But if it does, you’ll be the first to know.”

“You really _are_ feeling slutty,” Ruby said. Her voice was full of awe. Gently, she pulled away, helping Weiss tug her pajamas off completely, leaving her covered only by a pair of blue boxer-briefs that might’ve been Ruby’s at one point in time. “Look at you, almost naked, while I’m still wearing all my clothes.”

 _That tank top barely counts,_ Weiss thought, but her mouth didn’t obey her. Ruby closed the distance between them again, capturing one of Weiss’s nipples in her warm, tight mouth, and Weiss could do no more than write in pleasure on the mattress.

“You must have _really_ wanted this, princess,” Ruby chuckled. A moment later, her mouth was back on Weiss’s tender nipple, her teeth dragging across it this time. The slight sting coupled with the softness of Ruby’s plush lips forced Weiss to buck her hips once more. “So slutty. I could just take you, right here, right now.” 

Her hips bucked again. “Ruby,” Weiss tried to say, but it came out as a groan. She hadn’t been sweating a minute ago. What had Ruby _done_ to her?

Ruby’s fingers slipped beneath the waistband of her briefs and Weiss let out a gasp. This was it. This was really, really it, Ruby was going to see her bare, to touch her as she saw fit, to toy with her until she finally, _finally_ managed to catch that elusive orgasm. She needed this. God, she _needed_ this.

It was all she could do to hold still as Ruby peeled the skin-tight fabric down her thighs. She knew her breathing was heavy, but who was she to control her desperate need for air and Ruby’s touch? If the room were any colder she could have seen the foggy heat of her breath. 

Ruby ran a finger across her inner thigh and she jumped, biting her lip to keep from crying out. She could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. She arched her back, shivering in anticipation of Ruby’s next move.

That next move never came. Cracking open an eye, The little rationality left rattling around her skull took stock of her lover. Ruby held her hands awkwardly at chest-height, wrists folded like a bunny rabbit, or perhaps a praying mantis. Her face was pink and her hair disheveled, what was left of her ponytail barely holding together. She swallowed, her slight adam’s apple bobbing.

Weiss hesitated. She wanted to reach out and tell Ruby everything was fine, that she could touch her, that she _wanted_ to be touched, but she held her tongue. Maybe Ruby was just apprehensive. It was, after all, her first time being exposed to Weiss’s bare body, to _any_ woman’s body, save her own -- and Ruby’s body wasn’t exactly the same as Weiss’s in a few key places. 

“I need to stop,” Ruby said, sliding off the bed and to her feet a moment before Weiss could say anything. “Just-just gimme a minute.”

Weiss propped herself up on her elbows. “Take all the time you need. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, everything’s fine,” Ruby mumbled. “Jus’ lemme catch my breath.”

Weiss nodded. She crossed her legs, watching patiently as Ruby took a few steady breaths, undid, and tied back her hair again. “What happened?” Weiss asked, if only to fill the pregnant silence.

Ruby sighed. “Skeeved myself out. Seeing you naked like that, I just felt--it’s hard to put into words, um--I felt predatory?” Ruby gestured vaguely with her arm.

“But you’re not?”

“I know, I know,” Ruby said, “but you were just so _submissive,_ Weiss. I felt like I was just having my way with you.”

“I see.”

“Like, if I really _did_ have my way with you, I’d wanna be gentle and stuff,” Ruby rambled. “But the way I was acting, the way I was feeling, my body was telling me to _go go go_ , to take you, to _claim_ you, and it made me feel gross.” Ruby sat on the bed. “Even knowing that you want it, I just can’t make myself do it. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Weiss said. If she wasn’t using her elbows to prop herself up, she would’ve put a hand on Ruby’s knee to comfort her. “I’m proud of you for speaking up when you did?”

“Y-you are?”

Weiss nodded. “Just because I would let you do anything to me doesn’t mean you’re capable of such debauchery, nor do you have any obligation.”

Ruby blinked dazedly. “Wait. Anything?”

“That’s maybe not a discussion for right now,” Weiss said, blushing. “Maybe next time?”

“Wait, Weiss, I don’t want to stop.” Ruby put a hand on Weiss’s shin. “You were enjoying yourself so much, and that made me feel good too.”

Weiss considered. After a moment, she set her jaw. “If we’re going to have penetrative sex at some point, it doesn’t mean we can’t do other things first.”

“That’s part of working on our issues, isn’t it?” Ruby smiled.

“It would help us slowly grow accustomed to mutual nudity and touching.”

“You call _this_ slow?”

“It’s slow for _us,_ dolt,” Weiss scoffed. 

“Fair point.”

A moment later, Ruby was back on top of Weiss, kissing her into the mattress until her elbows gave way. She moaned into the sudden contact, freed hands flailing wildly for a moment before reaching to cup Ruby’s ass. It prompted a squeak from the younger girl, and Weiss laughed into her mouth.

Feeling brave, Weiss thumbed the waistband of Ruby’s pajamas. “Can I take these off?”

“Mhm,” Ruby nodded. “Just not my underwear, ‘kay? Not yet.”

“I promise you, just removing these pants is satisfying enough.” With both hands, Weiss tugged the pajamas down just far enough that she could grope Ruby’s rear. She was slightly disappointed to find that she was also clad in boxer-briefs, but they fit was snug enough that Weiss was free to grope with abandon.

Ruby chuckled, the nervousness in her voice almost completely gone, and rolled off of Weiss to tug her pajamas off and throw them to the ground. In that moment of weakness, Weiss pounced. She was just barely too slow to straddle Ruby’s waist, but managed to catch a thigh between her own. The sensation forced a gasp from her chest.

“That felt… _really_ good,” Weiss whined. She ducked her head, hiding her face behind a curtain of white hair. “C-can I…?

“Go right ahead.”

With a shudder, Weiss began to grind against her girlfriend’s thigh, every little motion sending sparks shooting up her spine. Some part of her was concerned that she was dripping with arousal, smearing herself across Ruby’s skin like this, but Ruby was so soft and warm that she couldn’t bring herself to care. She leaned forward, groaning as she bit into Ruby’s lower lip. The new angle dug her clit harder against the meat of Ruby’s soft, pliable thigh, a full-body shudder running through her.

She was a _lot_ more worked up than she’d thought. If slowing down and talking to Ruby had turned her off at all, she’d clearly made up for that in just a moment of grinding against Ruby’s leg. A small part of her felt humiliated, ashamed at being pushed so close to the edge so soon, but mostly Weiss just wanted _more._ More grinding against Ruby’s hot flesh, more kissing Ruby’s delicious mouth, more stroking and groping and caressing, more, more _more._

She could feel herself teetering on the edge, grinding harder and harder against Ruby. She knew this feeling, knew how easily her orgasm could slip away from her no matter how hard she tried. Heat pooled beneath her navel, white-hot pleasure focusing at her core, rubbing her clit against Ruby’s sweet body, delectable, _perfect._ She fumbled for her nipples, desperate for stimulation, and nearly lost her balance.

Almost there. She was almost there. She could hear the wet _schlick_ of her opening against Ruby’s skin, felt the overwhelming electric pleasure of her swollen clit. Her pussy quivered. She ached to feel something inside of her, filling her up. Satisfying her. Ruby took her lower lip into her mouth, lavishing affection upon it with her tongue, and Weiss knew she was done for.

Weiss’s hips shook erratically when she came, trying to hold herself against Ruby’s thigh and ride it out as long as she could, but her arms gave out after no more than a couple of seconds. She twitched, groaning from deep within her throat as the last ebbs of her orgasm rippled through her body.

Ruby cooed, brushing her hair behind her ear. If she said anything, Weiss couldn’t comprehend it.

Slowly, Weiss came back to herself, senses turning on one by one. It was nice, being held in Ruby’s arms the way she was, resting her head against the soft curves of Ruby’s chest. After a few more moments, Weiss found herself aware of the hardness digging into her abdomen. Sensing wetness, she realized Ruby was nearly as wet as she was, soaking through her briefs.

“Do you…” Weiss paused for breath. “Need a hand with this?”

Ruby chewed her lip. “I’m fine. I really liked watching you get off.”

Weiss pouted, staring up at Ruby.

“I don’t think I can handle that,” Ruby admitted. “I know it would feel nice and you’re offering, but I just--I just--”

“It’s okay.” Weiss kissed her. “I won’t push you. Not this time.”

Ruby smiled, clearly relieved.

“Do you want to cuddle?” Weiss asked. “I’d really like to be spooned right now, if you’re willing.”

“In what universe would I possibly _not_ be willing?” Ruby patted the mattress to her left.

“I don’t know,” Weiss said, rolling onto her side. “Maybe you had some reservations about spooning me while hard, even while clothed.”

Ruby blushed. “I, uh, I’m kinda excited about that. Gosh, that’s embarrassing, I’m embarrassed-”

“It’s different than touching, I understand.” Weiss settled herself. “Spoon me.”

Ruby cozied up behind her, wrapping an arm around Weiss’s shoulders. She could feel Ruby’s arousal pressed against her ass. “Is it though?”

In lieu of a response, Weiss rolled her hips backward, grinding gently against Ruby’s clothed length. The younger woman yipped before settling into a muffled groan, squeezing Weiss closer.

“I’m so transparent,” Ruby lamented.

“You really do like this, don’t you? Pressing yourself up against my ass?”

Ruby hissed. “It... yeah. It really turns me on.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Weiss said. Then, because she felt self-conscious, added “dolt.”

“Gee, thanks, Weiss,” Ruby chuckled dryly. She didn’t stop gently grinding against her, though, so she couldn’t have been _that_ embarrassed.

“Is this all you want?” Weiss asked. “Do you want this to build up to something?”

Ruby whimpered, grinding her hips in little circles. “‘M not sure.”

“That’s okay,” Weiss said. Then, because she felt like it: “I love you.”

“Hnnhlove you too,” Ruby groaned. Weiss rolled her hips back against her and Ruby shuddered, the arm wrapped around her sliding up to brush against Weiss’s lips. She took it into her mouth without thinking, lashing the digit with her tongue. “Y-you’re okay with this? With me b-basically dry-humping you, and, uh…”

Weiss hummed around her finger.

“Okay, okay, god,” Ruby mumbled. Her hips were moving faster, jerking arrhythmically against Weiss’s ass. “God, Weiss, Weiss, I think I’m gonna--I don’t, I can’t, Weiss, Weiss!”

Weiss held Ruby’s hand in her own as she came, shivering and spasming against Weiss’s body. She stilled after a few seconds, let out a breath, and pulled away from Weiss.

“Hey. Hey. It’s okay,” Weiss assured her, spinning around to hold her shoulders. Ruby tried to push her away and curl into a ball, but she was still weak. “You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m here.”

Ruby’s lower lip quivered. “Weiss, I-”

“I love you,” Weiss interrupted, stroking Ruby’s cheek with her thumb. “I love you.”

“There’s _jizz_ in my underwear,” Ruby whispered. If it hadn’t been for the look of disgust on her face, Weiss might have laughed out loud.

“I’ll grab you a clean pair,” Weiss said, striding across the room to Ruby’s dresser. She could feel Ruby staring at her ass as she walked and smiled to herself. “Maybe next time that wouldn’t happen if you weren’t wearing them.

“What?” Ruby choked.

Weiss chuckled, handing Ruby a fresh garment. She sat down on the bed next to her. “Let’s get you out of those.”

“You would really want that?” Ruby frowned. “If I wasn’t wearing these, then you’d…”

“Don’t consider what you _think_ I want,” Weiss said. Her words were cold and sharp, but her voice was soft as powder snow. “Listen to the real Weiss, not the one in your head, because I’m asking how _you_ felt about that. Put me out of your mind. How did Ruby Rose feel about this?”

Ruby paused for a moment. “It felt… good,” Ruby said, chewing her lip. “Ph-physically, I mean. It just ended with a really uncomfortable sensation.”

“That’s all there is to it; sensation,” Weiss said. “No reason to question if it’s perverted or not. It worked for you and I liked it too.”

“Even though I-”

“You liked getting me off,” Weiss offered. “Haven’t you considered that the inverse might be true as well?”

“...I hadn’t.”

“Well, I thoroughly enjoyed helping you cum,” Weiss smiled. “There’s nothing gross about it.”

“ _You_ would feel gross too if your underwear was caked in baby batter.”

Weiss mimed a gag. “Use literally any other terminology. Please.”

“Penis butter.”

“Ew, Ruby!”

“Love juice. High-fructose porn syrup.”

“I get it, Ruby.”

“Thick, hot spunk.”

“I _get it,_ Ruby!”

“Jizz!”

“Ruby Rose!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girls finally bust a collective nut. Finally.
> 
> Thank you to everyone for coming along on this wild ride. Just one more chapter of smut, an epilogue, and that’s it! ~<3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: slight gender dysphoria (Ruby), self-esteem issues (Weiss), excessive horniness, almost unprotected sex, condom PiV sex.

“For the last time, Ruby, yes, I’m fine.” Weiss rolled her eyes. “Come over here already.”

“Okay, but, um-”

Weiss shut her up with a kiss.

“Okay. Okay. Let’s do this.”

Only a week had passed since Ruby and Weiss made up. In that time, they’d experienced every high and low quarantine could offer: seclusion and isolation, restlessness and relaxation, companionship and annoyance, all of it. They’d even managed to take it slow, at least by their standards, but that was mostly Ruby’s doing.

After cleaning themselves up and recovering from the first partnered orgasms of their lives, Weiss and Ruby had scheduled an exploration of each other’s bodies as a more organized, levelheaded way of becoming more comfortable with mutual nudity. Unfortunately, they’d failed to account for their rampant horniness, and had come close to making love ahead of schedule. If Ruby hadn’t clammed up at the last minute, too afraid to bare her body before her girlfriend, Ruby was certain she wouldn’t be in her current predicament.

As it turned out, postponing her nudity right up until the very last minute before her first time made the whole experience twice as nerve-wracking. That’s not to say she wasn’t excited, as evidenced by her red-flushed face, thundering heartbeat, and the rigidity of her lower anatomy, but old anxieties died hard. No matter how eager she might be, she couldn’t quite stifle the niggling fears that Weiss might be dissatisfied with her body.

It didn’t help matters that Weiss was already nude. Despite her growing familiarity with the sight, having seen it twice before, it still set Ruby’s heart aflutter. Weiss was _beautiful._ Not runway-model-hot or swimsuit-model-sexy, but beautiful in the same way as the milky way on a clear night _._ There was a certain elegance about her smooth, creamy skin, her subtle curves, and the grace with which she moved. Weiss was built for flowing dresses and fine jewelry, not bikinis. She was more than sexy. She was _gorgeous._

The minor fact that Weiss was cis didn’t escape Ruby, either. Finally witnessing the sex Ruby wished she was born with had left her feeling both envious and inadequate. It was the real reason she hadn’t been able to expose her own body for Weiss to explore that day, and while it wasn’t exactly fair to Weiss, Ruby wasn’t sure she could manage looking at her hated length and the small, wrinkled sac beneath it after contrasting it with Weiss’s soft, wet lips.

Whatever. She could do this. She didn’t have to like that part of her body, but she needed it today to bring pleasure to herself and the woman she loved. She could do this.

"Ruby,” Weiss drawled, eyebrows knit, “I’m _fine._ Don’t worry about me, okay?”

Ruby swallowed. “Not worrying about you. Got it.” She hooked her fingers into the elastic waistband of her boxer-briefs and tried to make herself tug them down, only for the muscles in her arms to seize up. She _wanted_ this, why couldn’t she just-

“Do you need a hand?” Weiss asked. She was laying on her side, propped up casually on one arm as if she weren’t nude. Ruby’s eyes kept darting back to the curve of her hip. “Ruby?”

“I’ve got it,” Ruby said. “Thanks for asking, though.” She swallowed again, trying to get rid of the frog in her throat, but she would’ve had better luck slowing down her pounding heartbeat. “I’ve just, uh, worried a lot about this particular moment.”

“I know. We can put it off again, if you’d like.”

Ruby shook her head. “Last time was a fluke, I swear. Just give me a minute.”

Weiss’s expression softened. “Ruby, please don’t push yourself for me. I know you prefer to rush headfirst into things whenever you can and that you want to make this nice for me, but if you’re not ready-”

In lieu of answering, Ruby mustered her courage, hot and smoldering in her core, and tugged her briefs down. It took a moment of awkward wriggling to slide the fabric down her legs with her eyes squeezed shut, but she did it nonetheless. She reminded herself to breathe and opened her eyes, terrified to see Weiss’s lip curled in revulsion or pouting in disappointment, but what she saw was a perfectly nonplussed expression. Weiss blinked.

“That’s it?”

Ruby tucked her burning face into her shoulder. “It’s a lot more than I wish it was, okay?”

“I know, but after how much you worried about it, I was expecting a spitting cobra the size of a Pringles can.”

“What on _Earth_ kind of porn have you been watching?”

“I’m _obviously_ scouring the internet for massive cocks,” Weiss snarked, rolling her eyes. “It’s standard lesbian fare.”

“Good point.”

“If I may be honest, Ruby-”

“Please do.” Ruby bit her lip. “Communication is key, right?”

“Right, right,” Weiss waved a hand impatiently. “You’re far from inadequate, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t until a second ago. Just having one of these things usually feels like too much, and even after the shrinkage estrogen gave me-”

“It should make this a little easier on me.”

“Oh. Right.” Ruby blushed. She could barely look Weiss in the eye under normal circumstances, but right now, she had no choice, not when looking elsewhere would set her heartbeat pounding even faster. “I don’t want to hurt you. Do you have a, um, an intact, uh-”

Weiss shook her head. “I was born without a hymen, if that’s what you're asking. It’s very common.”

“Neat.” Ruby’s mouth was dry.

“Regardless, if it turns out I prefer something larger, or if you don’t want to do this, we can always buy a toy online like any other lesbian couple.”

“Right as always,” Ruby smiled. “Heh.”

For a moment, neither woman moved. Then, as if all her fear had fled her body, Ruby leaned forward, cupped Weiss’s cheeks in her hands, and kissed her. Despite her pounding heart, a strange sense of calm passed through Ruby. This was their first time, yes, but it was the first of many. If this went badly, there were plenty of other ways the two of them could be sexually intimate together. They’d already grinded against one another to completion, after all, what made this so different?

For a moment, an image swam up to the forefront of Ruby’s mind. The two of them, face to face, Ruby’s length against Weiss’s toned stomach, a curved, double-ended dildo shoved deep inside both of them at once. She moaned into Weiss’s mouth at the thought and was answered by Weiss moaning in return.

That was enough for Ruby. Filled with fire, she straddled her girlfriend, running her hands up and down the soft skin of the woman she loved so much. Weiss felt so _warm_ beneath her. The sensation was almost enough to bury her anxieties in the back of her mind, fading into her wordless subconscious.

Ruby had grown used to kissing Weiss. It still filled her with jittery, electric excitement, to be sure, but it wasn’t the same as their first few kisses early in the quarantine, back when neither of them knew what they were doing and everything was new and unexplored. Now, Ruby’s lips met Weiss’s with controlled passion, met by Weiss’s equally careful tongue. 

What Ruby _hadn’t_ grown used to was feeling Weiss’s bare skin against her own as they kissed. Every slight shift of Weiss’s warm body against her own sent sparks flying up her spine and made her hair stand on end. She had goosebumps up and down both arms. Her mind on autopilot, she drove her hip between Weiss’s thighs, drinking up the gasp Weiss let slip from between her lips. Ruby could feel hot moisture against her hipbone, oddly soothing to her lust-addled mind. Weiss wanted this. Weiss wanted _her._

“Not that this isn’t fun,” Weiss breathed, moaning through gritted teeth as Ruby sucked a pink bruise against her elegant throat. “But didn’t we have other plans?”

“We did,” Ruby affirmed. “But I’ve got you right where I-- woah!”

Weiss’s taut abdominals weren’t just for show. She flipped the two of them over with more ease than flipping a pancake, her strong thighs pinning Ruby to the mattress. She leaned forward, capturing Ruby’s lips in a desperate kiss, pressing her stomach against Ruby’s sex in the process. Ruby tensed, her breath hitching at the sensation as her anxieties set her fingertips tingling with adrenaline. She was dripping with precum for Weiss, smearing the sticky fluid all over her waist as her rigid length pressed against her abs. Weiss couldn’t be enjoying this at all, could she? A moment later, Ruby relaxed. She let Weiss lick into her mouth. She shouldn’t have worried, not when she’d liked feeling Weiss’s hot, wet arousal against her own body.

“Eep!”

“Oh,” Weiss breathed. “That’s, uh, you, isn’t it?”

“What else would it be?” Ruby whimpered. She could feel Weiss’s slick core against the underside of her length, squeezing it between their bodies. The heat of it was almost unbearable, yet Ruby only wanted more. 

“It’s so _warm,_ ” Weiss mewled. She pressed down with her hips, grinding into Ruby’s cock the way she had a week before against Ruby’s thigh, shivering visibly in pleasure. “I can feel you t-twitching…”

“You do that to me,” Ruby squeaked. All she could do was lay there and take it. She didn’t have the brainpower to move her body and process all this stimulation at once. Between he warmth of Weiss’s chest against her own, cold fingers tangling in her hair, the searing heat of Weiss’s sopping core against her sex and the noises coming from deep in Weiss’s throat, it was a wonder she didn’t black out. Her fingers twitched, and she found she was saying Weiss’s name aloud. 

Weiss whispered “Ruby” in return, peppering her cheeks with kisses. Her hips jolted forward, dragging her slick folds along the edge of Ruby’s cockhead, teasing both of them with what was to come and smearing their fluids together. Ruby didn’t have the brainpower to even _begin_ processing that.

“Y-you feel so good.” Ruby bit her lip. Weiss rolled her hips again and forced a shudder through Ruby’s entire body. Arousal, hot and sticky, pooled in her guts, just below her navel, and whatever intellect Ruby had once possessed dripped out her ears. She squeezed her teary eyes shut, unsure whether it was that she couldn’t handle visual stimulation on top of everything she was feeling or if she just hadn’t blinked for far too long in her awe. “W-warm…”

“You…” Weiss leaned from side to side, grinding down even harder. “You see why I wanted this so badly?”

“You wanted, ah,” Ruby breathed, “more than this…?”

Weiss whimpered. She leaned forward, supporting her weight on slender hands that framed Ruby’s face. “I did.”

Weak and woozy with desire as she was, it took every ounce of Ruby’s willpower not to thrust up into the waiting heat above her. Whatever was left of her rational mind whispered “condom?”

Weiss whined. “The last time I grabbed one, you f-freaked out,” she said through gritted teeth. Ruby could see the indent that proved she was biting the inside of her cheek, but she forgot all about it the moment Weiss rolled her hips again, nearling taking Ruby inside of her. She was so warm, so wet, so _ready_ that Ruby’s cock twitched involuntarily, and Weiss clearly felt it, judging by the wanton, high-pitched moan that burst from her lips.

“W-we can’t…”

“Your hormones, right?” Weiss asked. “They, because, we don’t have to worry-”

“Doesn’t work like that.” Ruby swallowed. It wouldn’t do to drool deliriously this early in the evening.

“But,” Weiss mewled, slurring her words, “it’s supposed t’ feel better for you, not wearing…” She shuddered, rolling her hips and smearing her white-hot arousal up and down Ruby’s length. “Don’t you want t’ feel me, w-with nothing in between…?”

“Y-yeah, but-” Ruby cut herself off with a full-bodied moan as Weiss pushed backward, nearly taking her inside. She could hardly think. It felt so _good,_ her next words almost pained her. “Please be safe?”

Weiss, apparently, hadn’t heard her soft words underneath her own moans, as she made no move to get off of her. An animal urge imprisoned in Ruby’s ribcage strained against its bonds, begging her to give in to her wants, to relinquish control and let Weiss envelope her. _You tried,_ it murmured, _and she didn’t listen. Just do it. You’re so close, so, so close, just do it!_

Ruby whimpered. She could imagine how it would feel. Didn’t _have_ to imagine, not when she could feel Weiss’s sex sliding against her own, dripping with arousal and searingly hot and oh, so tempting. _She wants this,_ Ruby remembered with a shudder, her animal urge’s gravelly growl rumbling in her skull. _She wants this just as bad as you do, just do it, all you have to do is let it happen._ If her chest weren’t so tight, she might have screamed, though from pleasure, frustration, or sheer sensory overload, Ruby did not know.

“C-condom,” Ruby said with as much confidence as she could muster, which wasn’t much, but somehow more than she actually felt. It took every ounce of willpower left in her body to squeak out that one word, but it left her with a strange sense of satisfaction. She hadn’t given in to her urges, forgone protection in selfish pursuit of pleasure. The masculine beast in her chest was caged again. She was stronger than that.

Weiss whined with displeasure, but this time she relented and flopped onto her side. Ruby hissed at the lack of contact, realizing her length was coated in rapidly cooling sticky fluid without Weiss’s warmth pressed against her. It could only be worse for Weiss, she realized, her tender lips smeared in cooling slick. _Weiss better move fast._

A moment later, Ruby watched in fascination as Weiss’s abs rippled and she pulled herself off the bed. She stumbled on awkward legs to her dresser, scrambled through her sock drawer, and made it back to the bed with a pink square of plastic in her hand. She passed it to Ruby, who tried and failed to open it with shaking hands until resorting to her teeth to tear open the packaging.

“Eager, huh?” Weiss chuckled nervously.

Ruby blushed. “Just nervous.”

“It’s okay,” Weiss said, “I am too.”

“D-do you wanna put it on me?” Ruby bit her lip. “I-I’m,” she swallowed, “not sure if I can.”

“I’m sure you can,” Weiss said, but she took the plastic from her anyway. Ruby tensed, Weiss’s cold fingers rolling it down her length as she pinched the tip of the condom. Once she’d reached the base, she sat back on her heels awkwardly. Her face was red. “So, ah, shall we?”

Ruby giggled. “We shall,” she echoed. “How do you wanna…?” She trailed off, unable to bring herself to say it. 

“I was imagining, um, you on top.” Weiss’s face was just as red as Ruby’s. “B-but I was enjoying what we were just doing, so…”

Ruby nodded. “It was better for me, I think. S-since you were in control, and I didn’t have to hold myself up the whole time, and, uh-”

Weiss straddled Ruby once again, holding her core a few inches above Ruby’s rigid cock. “R-ready?”

Ruby nodded. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Weiss hummed. Then, slowly, she sank down onto Ruby’s length. “Ah!”

“Weiss!” Ruby winced. She blinked a couple of times, trying to get her head on straight. “A-are you okay?”

“Latex’s cold,” Weiss said, balancing precariously to keep Ruby aligned with her. “You didn’t hurt me. Everything’s fine.”

Ruby bit her lip. “Are you sure you wanna-”

“Ruby?” Weiss interrupted. “Shut up.”

“How romantic,” Ruby quipped. Or, at least, she _would_ have, had Weiss not slid halfway down her length the moment she opened her mouth to speak. She tried to hiss “Weiss,” but it came out as a pathetic whimper. She was so _warm._ Warmer than anything Ruby had ever felt. Warmer than a fire on a cold winter’s night, warmer than the August noonday sun, warmer than the aroused heat coiling in Ruby’s stomach. She had to remind herself to breathe. 

“It-I think-um,” Weiss blustered. Her voice was high-pitched and breathy, as if she couldn’t fill her lungs. “Stretching me,” she managed, tucking her face into her shoulder.

Ruby knit her eyebrows. It was the best she could manage. If she opened her mouth to speak, all that would come out would be nonsense syllables and embarrassing moans. She had to take a moment to admire her girlfriend’s strength, communicating with words at a time like this.

“Feels bigger than it looked,” Weiss said. “‘S good.”

Ruby nodded fervently. 

Weiss lifted herself up, legs shaking, and for a moment Ruby was afraid she’d changed her mind or something had gone wrong, but then she lowered her weight until her hips were flush with Ruby’s, and Ruby’s head spun. She was barely getting used to the heat of Weiss’s sopping core, and while the condom was a barrier between their fluids, she couldn’t mistake just how soft Weiss felt around her. Everything she’d read in her young life had told her to expect tightness, a constriction around her sex not unlike the squeeze of her hand, but this was so _different_ and so much _better._ Weiss fit around her just as easily as Ruby’s tongue rested in her mouth. It just _clicked._

Finally, Ruby started to wrap her mind around everything Weiss had been saying before. Their bodies just fit together. She couldn’t put a finger on it, but being with Weiss like this, _inside_ of her, just felt so right.

“I can feel your heartbeat,” Weiss mumbled. “I-inside me, th-through your cock, I-”

“I can feel you too,” Ruby panted. Inwardly, she patted herself on the back for saying five words without stumbling. 

“‘M gonna start moving, ‘kay?” Weiss asked, rolling her slender hips ever-so-slightly. “You’re good? Nothing hurts?”

Ruby shook her head. Her bangs, slick with sweat, got in her eyes, but Weiss brushed them aside. In that instant, that small gesture, Ruby _understood._ She saw the intimacy Weiss had found in “the most intimate act possible,” but it wasn’t mere penetration. It was the trust that came with being so vulnerable, opening up around someone else, the closeness of it all. 

God, she felt like she was going to cry with joy.

“Not dysphoric,” Ruby mewled. “Nothing hurts?”

“The stretch,” Weiss admitted. A bead of sweat dripped from her forehead. “B-but it’s good, please, don’t worry.” She raised her hips, sliding up Ruby’s cock. She shivered, exposed to the cold bedroom air, but it only made the heat of Weiss’s core more intense as she slipped back down. “Ruby!”

“Weiss!” Ruby squealed. She bucked her hips instinctually, watching in case she’d hurt her lover, but Weiss’s eager gasp soothed her fears.

“Do that again,” Weiss ordered, raising and dropping her hips again with a quiet _squelch._ Ruby, always eager to please, obeyed without question, surrendering to her instincts. They were safe together, full of love and free of judgement, and with the comforting tight reminder of the latex around her sex, Ruby had nothing to fear.

She expected the two of them to fall into a rhythm, hips crashing against one another faster and faster until they peaked, but once again, Ruby’s books had lied to her. Weiss was erratic, riding her one way and then another, as if she wanted to experience anything and everything all at once and find where she was most sensitive. Ruby wasn’t complaining -- everything Weiss did felt phenomenal.

“Harder,” Weiss begged, letting slip a little groan of frustration. “I’m not delicate.”

“Not delicate,” Ruby echoed. She tried to thrust harder, push up into Weiss’s slick, soft heat, but something held her back. For a moment, her veins filled with a shock of rushing ice, afraid that her roughness might feel masculine to one or both of them, but she realized quickly that it was Weiss’s weight holding her down, that every time she rolled her hips and arched her spine, she pushed Weiss an inch off the mattress. Her anxiety assuaged, she bit her lip as she increased her pace, trying to muffle any unseemly grunts.

“If-if it doesn’t make you dys-dys- bad,” Weiss said, raising a fist to her mouth. “I always fantasized about you p-p-pounding me, R-Ruby…”

Ruby’s body felt like it was on fire. She could barely comprehend what she’d heard. Weiss wanted this, wanted her rougher, harder? Ruby’s stomach flipped. She wanted this, wanted this more than she could say, but she couldn’t keep the taste of guilt and bile from her throat at her desires. She wanted to fuck Weiss, yes, but wasn’t wanting to be rougher some sort of masculine urge she shouldn’t bring into this-”

“Ruby,” Weiss moaned, “please.”

Somehow, Ruby found it difficult to feel like a man when Weiss called out her true name. Her dysphoria, too, slipped into the dark recesses of her mind, knowing just how badly Weiss wanted this, wanted _her,_ and who was she to ruin something that felt so good with her overthinking?

Inhibitions fading, Ruby relaxed as she worked her hips up and down. The backs of her thighs ached with exertion, but Ruby welcomed the burn. It was worth it, _so_ worth it to see Weiss’s lust-addled expression, blue eyes dark and delirious with pleasure, mouth open with moistened lips, on the edge of being fucked senseless. As lovely as Weiss’s pussy felt fluttering around Ruby’s latex-covered cock, enveloping it in warmth and soft, gentle caresses, Ruby was, fundamentally, a service top: knowing Weiss was pleased, that _she_ was the one pleasing her? The way it warmed her heart was more satisfying than any sexual stimulation could ever be. 

Time slipped away from her as it does in times like these. Ruby was no stranger to losing track of time, what with the hours whiled away on her computer. Quarantine had only exacerbated it all. She was utterly lost. She couldn’t tell if it had been five minutes or five hours since she’d entered Weiss, and while she assumed it was probably closer to five seconds, there wasn’t a single part of her that cared. 

“Ruby,” Weiss breathed, slumping forward to rest her weight on Ruby’s shoulders. She melted into Ruby. She couldn’t get enough of the warmth of her skin, needed to hold her as close as possible. Her palms were sweaty. “Ruby, Ruby, Rubyrubyruby, I think, I think I’m gonna, are-are you?”

“Not yet,” Ruby said through gritted teeth. She didn’t slow down, thrusting up into Weiss’s sweet heat like her life depended on it.

“I’ll try to-to hold off, wait for you-”

“Don’t.” Ruby grunted, thrusting harder and harder. “Wanna see you cum for me.”

“B-b-but _you,_ ” Weiss whined, “I wanna-”

“Cum for me,” Ruby said. She gripped Weiss’s hips, guiding her as she rode Ruby’s dick, thrusting to match the rhythm she’d established for her girlfriend. “I love you, Weiss, I love you. Please, Weiss, cum for me.”

As it turned out, Ruby’s prediction held true. Weiss _was_ a screamer. She yowled, her legs spasming as a shiver ran up her spine. She threw back her head, mouth open wide, and came on Ruby’s cock. What surprised Ruby was that she could _feel_ Weiss come. Her pussy fluttered and rippled around Ruby unpredictably, clenching and unclenching and quivering until her orgasm faded and she flopped bonelessly onto the mattress in a puddle of her own sweat.

“Wow,” Weiss said.

Ruby nodded solemnly in agreement.

“D-did you…?”

Ruby shook her head. “I think you probably would’ve felt that.”

Weiss frowned. She tried to pull herself up, but to what end, Ruby was unsure. She flopped back on the bed. “I want to feel…”

“It’s okay,” Ruby said. “That was still really good, and I liked watching you-”

“Was I not good enough?” Weiss asked. “Am I not-”

“You’re perfect, Weiss, I-”

“The condom!” Weiss gasped. “It must’ve been the condom. If you weren’t wearing it, it would’ve felt better and you wouldn’t need to--take it off. Take it off, let me try again, Ru-”

Ruby hushed her, pressing a finger to her lips. 

Weiss batted her hand away. “Isn’t it easy to make dicks cum? Wh-why can’t I--”

“Weiss, it’s _okay._ ”

Weiss took a deep breath. “I just wanted to feel you cum inside me. That’s all.”

Ruby’s cock throbbed needily. “Next time?”

“ _This_ time,” Weiss growled, sitting up as if it were the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She pushed Ruby onto her back with wild aggression, her jaw set and teeth grinding against one another. “I _want_ this, Ruby Ro-” At the touch of Ruby’s head against her lower lips, Weiss winced. “I can do this. I can do this.”

“Next time,” Ruby insisted, pushing Weiss away gently. She fell with a _thump_ onto the mattress and grumbled something under her breath Ruby didn’t care to hear. “It’s okay. You can touch me some other way.”

“I can,” Weiss said, “but I can’t help but feel disappointed.”

“Most first times are disappointing, right?” Ruby offered.

“I guess,” Weiss said. “Can I touch you? With my hand? I know I won’t be as skilled as you are, and you might feel dysphoric about it, but-”

“You may,” Ruby said gently. “You still felt really good though, right?”

“Condom off,” Weiss ordered. Her voice was sharp and businesslike, but it softened after a moment. “And yes. I’ve never came so hard in my life.”

“That’s not saying much, considering how you didn’t start getting off until quaranti-HEEN!” Ruby yipped. Weiss’s hands were slender and efficient, beyond perfection in Ruby’s eyes. She plucked the condom from Ruby’s length, throwing it into the garbage bin underneath Ruby’s desk halfway across the room, and Ruby would’ve stared in wonder if she hadn’t been whimpering.

Weiss massaged her length gently, rubbing the mixture of her own fluids and Ruby’s precum that had filled the condom into her sensitive skin. Weiss’s slender fingers were so different from her own hands, broad and strong and twitchy. She couldn’t keep her eyes open. She was sweating and she knew it, could feel it sinking into the blankets beneath her, but with the way Weiss’s soft fingers teased her cock, she couldn’t care less. Her fingers were so _fucking_ soft. Ruby had no idea how Weiss managed that. Her fingers were warm, for once, her orgasm pumping hot blood through her body.

Ruby whimpered. “Weiss, I’m gonna-- it’s gonna get all over your hand, I-”

“I _want_ it all over my hand,” Weiss growled in her ear, hot breath sending a shiver down Ruby’s spine. “It’ll be proof that I, and I alone, made you cum.”

Ruby mewled wordlessly. The heat in her stomach was growing unbearable, boiling inside her, electric.

“You’re mine, Ruby Rose,” Weiss said. She bit Ruby’s earlobe, hot breath and saliva overwhelming Ruby’s overworked brain, and it was all over. 

As crude as it might have been, Ruby felt like lightning shot through her cock. White-hot, electric pleasure crackled through her length, heat filling her entire body. She was dimly aware she was spasming, cumming in spurts of clear fluid that dribbled down her length and onto Weiss’s fingers, but she didn’t stop stroking her, using it as extra lube. Ruby’s spine arched, her eyes half-closed and mouth open in a silent scream. Her expression must have been ridiculous, but if Weiss minded, she didn’t say so. Ruby slumped downward, pushing Weiss’s hand away with all her strength, which wasn’t very much. 

“You’re still hard,” Weiss noted. “Did I not…?”

“Takes a minute to go down,” Ruby breathed. “Ever since I started hormones, I, uh, it… does that.”

“I see.” Based on her tone of voice, Weiss Schnee did not see. “Why are you crying?”

“‘M crying?” Ruby forced open her eyes, touching her face. Sure enough, her cheeks were wet. “I…”

“Is it dysphoria?” Weiss asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Ruby said. “No! I’m just… I’m so happy, Weiss. I love you.”

Weiss kissed her. “I love you too, Ruby. So much.” She looked down at her hand. “I should probably clean this, but…”

“Proud of yourself?”

“Mhm.” Weiss stifled a yawn. “Really should clean up, though. I’m exhausted, and your thighs must be killing you.”

“Just cuddle me for a moment?” Ruby asked. 

Weiss snuggled up to her. “Fine, but if we pass out, this is your fault.”

“I’ll take the blame,” Ruby smiled. She took several deep, slow breaths, her arm wrapped around Weiss’s shoulders. “This is nice.”

“It is,” Weiss agreed. “Can I sleep in your bed tonight? Somebody covered mine in sweat.”

“Two somebodies, looks like,” Ruby chuckled. “Wonder who they were.”

“It’s a mystery,” Weiss said knowingly. She gave Ruby a peck on the cheek. “Okay, we really need to clean up. If we don’t one or both of us could contract a UTI, and from what I’ve read, those are-”

“Yang told me,” Ruby interrupted. “No fun. We could take turns showering while the other deals with that?”

“Actually, if you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to shower together. I know you might not be okay with so much nudity, with your body in front of me like that--”

“I was literally just inside you. I think I can handle it.”

“I’ve never seen it soft before,” Weiss countered.

“First time for everything,” Ruby said. “Thank you for everything, by the way.”

Weiss kissed her. “Of course, my love. Anytime.”

“Anytime?” Ruby quirked an eyebrow. “Wanna go again at 3 AM?”

“God, you dunce,” Weiss groaned, “I hate you.”

“Love you too, Weiss,” Ruby chuckled. She leaned in to kiss her, and Weiss, clearly, did not hate her, for she kissed her back just as passionately. For one moment, everything was perfect. They held one another in their sweaty arms, lips locked, and felt the warmth of one another. As Ruby pulled away, she brushed the tip of her nose against Weiss’s, who returned the gesture with all her usual grace. The two of them pressed their foreheads together, sweat be damned.

They may still have been in quarantine, but it was looking up and up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, the main plot of the fic is done! Was all of this just an excuse to write penetrative sex with these two? Yes. Was this all just to justify Weiss and Ruby's comfort with penetration? Also yes. Did I enjoy all the chapters leading up to this SO much more than just posting this on its own? Hell yes.
> 
> Just an epilogue next week and then we're done! Thank you, everyone, for coming along on this wild ride with me. It's been such a blast writing for all of you and reading your comments over and over obsessively. You make my own, real-life quarantine so much better. I'll see you all next week, and if you comment, I'll love you forever. Thanks!
> 
> Bonus: because I've been in a nostalgic mood all week, I've been listening to a Pokemon DPPt Lofi mix. It's lovely to write to and reminds me of so many good days, I can't help but share the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qz0SL-7U1s


	18. Epilogue

“You’re seriously gonna love this place, Weiss,” Blake hummed from the passenger seat. “It’s great. Two stories, two bathrooms, and a yard full of native biodiversity. I cannot hype it up enough, I swear.”

“Not for lack of trying,” Weiss snarked, a smile playing at her lips. “You’ve been repeating yourself for the entire drive.”

Yang chuckled. She only had one hand on the wheel, but given that she only _had_ one hand, Weiss wasn’t inclined to call her out on it. “That’s what we get for putting Blake in charge of house-hunting.”

“It’s nice to hear her voice,” Ruby affirmed. “You’re normally so quiet.”

“You know me,” Blake shrugged. Her short bob billowed in the wind of the open window. “Tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Hella.” Yang held up her prosthetic hand. Blake fist-bumped it. “Remind me of the directions again? Still not familiar with the whole ‘suburbs’ thing.”

“We’re barely off the highway.” Weiss fiddled with her braid. “We passed by a fast food joint two minutes ago.”

“Yeah, but look at all these trees and residential housing.”

“There’s a playground a five-minute walk from the house,” Blake added helpfully.

“Suburban enough for me,” Ruby agreed.

“Anyways,” Yang coughed, “directions, Blakey?”

* * *

“No way!” Ruby gasped. “Holy shit, Blake. It’s huge!”

Blake ran a hand through her short black curls. “It’s not _that_ big. It’s smaller than my parents’ place in Menagerie--”

“The housing market in Menagerie is a lot cheaper,” Yang said. “Seriously, this is one hell of a place.”

Weiss nodded. The house was painted a soft pastel blue with white trim, flanked on either side by scores of ancient redwoods. She knew the feeling must’ve been old hat for Ruby and Yang back in Patch, but for Weiss, who had only ever lived in the big city, seeing a house dwarfed by trees was an unfamiliar and exciting experience. This could be her new home, she knew. She could imagine walking in the early morning and staring up at the trees, wreathed in early morning fog. “Where’s the realtor?” she asked.

Blake smiled. “I may or may not have arranged to give you guys the tour all by myself?”

“Are you kidding?” Ruby asked excitedly. Her eyebrows knit. “No, but seriously, are you kidding? I can’t tell.”

“I’m not kidding.”

Ruby’s eyes sparkled. “Lit.”

“How’d you manage that?” Weiss asked.

“Coco.”

“Nice,” Yang said. “Again, though, what’s the price tag on this bad boy? I’m not ready to be a grown-ass woman with a mortgage and stuff.”

Blake shot Weiss a knowing look. Weiss smirked back. As many misgivings as the two of them shared towards generational wealth, let alone the SDC’s business practices, the look on their girlfriends’ faces was worth every penny.

Swiping the key from its hiding spot atop the bulbless porch light, Blake unlocked the door with a flourish. “Where to first, girls?”

“Kitchen,” Yang said at once.

“So predictable,” Blake smiled.

“Hey,” Ruby said, “it’s good that we have _somebody_ who can cook. We can’t live on ramen noodles forever.”

“I’m sure you could, sweetheart,” Weiss said.

“Okay, maybe, but c’mon.”

“Let’s be real,” Weiss said. She paused for a moment as they made their way through the halls, the _click_ of her heels echoing in the unfurnished building. Weiss noted the high ceilings. That would be a pain to clean. The architects probably could have fit a third floor in the house if not for that. “The only reason the four of us are still planning on living together is because you and I would starve without Yang.”

“Guilty as charged,” Ruby giggled.

“Aw, you guys like me, don’t deny it.”

“What? I’m fond of my big sister? Nope!” Ruby popped the _p._

“It’s not like we _like_ you or anything,” Blake chuckled. “Though that’s Weiss’s line.”

“For the last time, I’m not a tsundere!”

“Real talk, though,” Ruby said as they made it into the kitchen. She almost hopped up on one of the granite counters but seemed to think better of it at the last minute. “I can’t imagine the four of us living apart from one another. After all the time we spent in quarantine together, being split up would be a bigger change than just moving out of that apartment. Besides, I love you guys. I like being close.”

“Weren’t you just marveling at how big this place is?” Weiss asked. 

“I like being close, but not _that_ close.”

“Hear hear,” Blake smiled. “Thoughts on the kitchen, Yang?”

“...I’m never going back to our cramped apartment kitchen ever again.”

“I’ll take that as an endorsement,” the brunette chuckled. “Bathrooms, anyone? There’s two of them.”

“Two bathrooms?” Ruby squeaked, bouncing on her heels. “Thank fuck! A single bathroom for all four of us back during quarantine was the worst part of the whole thing. If we have to self-isolate here, it’ll be so much--”

“Don’t speak that into existence,” Weiss chided. “A single pandemic is more than enough for me, thank you very much.”

“I know, but just in case--”

“Abupbup!” Weiss pressed a slender finger against Ruby’s lips. Ruby took it into her mouth. “Ruby! You can’t just-”

Ruby guffawed.

“You’re the worst.”

“I love you too, Weissy.”

The upstairs bathroom was lovely, Weiss was forced to admit. Plenty of natural light from the massive windows, but far from lacking in privacy with the trees all around the property. The bathtub was big enough for two and mercifully placed perpendicular from the mirror. She could see it easily: herself and Ruby cuddling in the bath, some jazz cover of a pop song playing through the speakers, neither of them forced to see their reflections. 

“I like the tile,” Blake explained.

“Pretty sure there’s more than the tile here that you can dig.” Yang elbowed her.

“Oh no, you caught me,” Blake drawled, wrapping an arm around her. “So you like?”

“Hella.”

“Blake!” Ruby squeaked, running into the room. “How come you didn’t tell me there was a balcony?”

“Slipped my mind.”

“Weiss, you have to see this!” Ruby tugged childishly at her elbow. It was made all the more ridiculous by their height difference, even with Weiss’s heels. Somehow, at some point during quarantine, Weiss had forgotten how tall Ruby was. Maybe it had to do with all the sitting down on the couch or the equalizer of laying in bed, but regardless, Weiss found herself craning her neck to look up at her girlfriend. “It’s so _pretty!”_

“Show me.”

Ruby was right. It _was_ pretty. From the balcony, Weiss had an excellent view of the backyard, from the backdoor beneath them to the barrier of trees between them and the next house over. The springtime flowers bloomed in reds and pinks and purples.

Ruby grinned. “Blake is gonna _love_ smoking to this view.”

“Can’t say I’d blame her,” Weiss said, “I would too.”

* * *

Blake and Weiss shared another knowing look as the four of them descended into the basement. Ruby’s silver eyes sparkled, gears turning as she envisioned all the ways she could furnish it. Yang, too, was enthused.

Together, they spoke: “This would make a great-”

“-gaming room!”

“-gym!”

Ruby met Yang’s eyes. Sparks flew. Weiss could taste ozone.

Blake clapped both women on the back. “Xiao Long-Rose girls, relax, you’re both pretty. You can share.”

Ruby made a face, wriggling out of Blake’s grip. “No way! I’m not putting dumbbells next to the delicate and elegant machinery of Crescent Rose, and no gaming room of mine is gonna smell like sweat-”

“As if I’d wanna see you sit on your ass eating doritos while I lift.” Yang pushed Blake aside. “Don’t tempt me with your hedonistic ways!”

“Isn’t there another spare room?” Weiss asked.

“Yeah,” Blake said, sliding to stand next to Weiss, “but I was thinking that could be an office space. If those two are too loud or we have to work from home again, like we did in quarantine--”

“Don’t! Don’t even say it! Don’t jinx us!”

“Okay, but just imagine it.” Blake lowered her voice. “Ruby’s humming as she scratches out some engineering project next to you while you do your spreadsheets and Yang brings the two of you pancakes.”

Weiss thought for a moment. “Okay. I’m sold. Pancakes, please.”

Blake laughed.

* * *

“As lovely as the entrance hall was,” Weiss said, “excellent for entertaining guests and the like, I think I’d rather have a couple of picnic tables back here. This really is an excellent yard.”

“Like I said, native biodiversity. Look at those grasses and flowers.”

“I bet there’s a frog hiding in there,” Ruby said, giddy.

Yang frowned. “Why?”

“If I were a frog, I’d do it.”

“Never change, Ruby. Never change.”

“Welp!” Ruby slapped her thigh. “Guess I’ll stay in these clothes for the rest of my life. Never gonna change.”

“Ruby,” Weiss said, “that was _awful._ I’m used to puns from Yang, but you?”

Ruby giggled maniacally.

“Anyways,” Blake said, “the native biodiversity…”

“It’s a nice, big lawn, Blake,” Weiss said. “You did good.”

“Thanks, Weiss.”

“No worries.”

“It _is_ a solid lawn,” Yang said. “All this space would be great for Rubes ‘n Weiss to raise their kid.”

“What?” Ruby squeaked. 

Weiss echoed her internally. Before she could open her mouth to speak, though, a thought wormed its way into her brain. She _couldn’t._ That would be _mean._ Oh, but she _could._ Slowly, she turned to face Yang, blue eyes wide, her face even paler than usual. “How did you know?”

Yang’s jaw dropped.

“WHAT?!?” Ruby squealed.

Weiss doubled over laughing, the image of Yang’s shocked face burned into her brain. She raised an arm to point at Yang, trying to say _if only you could’ve seen your face_ , but Yang just crossed her arms and snorted.

“Hhhhh,” Ruby said. “Oh my gosh, my heart is pounding, I think I need to sit down.”

Weiss slung an arm around Ruby’s waist as the two of them sat upon lush green grass. She could hear Blake and Yang playfully arguing over who would be a better aunt as they walked across the lawn, laughing to one another.

“Okay, vodka aunt,” she heard Blake say.

“Everything alright, Ruby?”

Ruby nodded, her face red.

“Did I make you dysphoric or just embarrass you?”

“Neither,” Ruby said. “I was just scared that somehow you really _were_ pregnant. I’m _so_ not ready for a kid yet.”

“Yet?” Weiss could see her wide eyes reflected in Ruby’s own.

“Not that we’re ever gonna-”

“Do you want children, Ruby?”

“Well, I mean, uh…”

“‘Cause I don’t.”

“O-okay.”

Weiss chuckled nervously. “Unless…”

“You’re giving me really mixed signals right now!”

“Well, maybe?” Weiss said. “Someday? If you want to, that is.”

Ruby bit her lip. “It would be a lot. I’d have to go off hormones if I wanna be, like, _properly_ fertile, since I didn’t bank any, um--”

“Baby batter,” Weiss said helpfully.

“You’re not helping,” Ruby replied.

“I know.”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “I’d also have to do that before surgery, and that’s happening in, what, a thousand days?”

“You’ve set the date?”

“Not exactly?” Ruby shrugged her shoulders. “But I wanna get it done before I’m twenty-five, you feel? I don’t want to live a quarter-century with dangly bits, and quarantine put back my plans by, like, at _least_ a year.”

Weiss nodded along.

“And, um, I dunno how I feel about ‘fathering’ a child,” Ruby blushed. “Like, I get that we’re that one lucky gay couple who can have biological kids and don’t need a surrogate or test tubes and IVF, but we might wanna do that anyway because of the effects estrogen had on my--”

“Baby batter,” Weiss said unhelpfully.

“I said that _one time!”_ Ruby whined.

Weiss kissed her forehead. “I’m never going to let you live that down.”

“I know,” Ruby sighed. “Besides, all of that doesn’t even count how hard pregnancy might be for you. I wish it could be me, but… Whatever.”

“The science might be there by the time we want kids.”

“If we want kids.”

“If we want kids,” Weiss repeated. She stroked Ruby’s cheek.

“I just don’t know if we’re cut out for motherhood,” Ruby admitted, biting her lip. “I mean, neither of us can really cook, and that’s important, since people starve without food, and what if I accidentally teach our child bad words? What if I’m gaming and I say ‘fuck’ and then we have a two-year-old cursing and calling things ‘bitch’ or something?” Her eyes widened. “What if they survive to adolescence? How are we gonna deal with raising a teenager? I could barely handle teenagers when I _was_ one, let alone whatever kind of prospective partner our kid would bring home for prom, and-and what about when they leave for college? Are we gonna be empty-nesters? There’s so many variables, Weiss. What if we’re gonna be bad parents?”

Weiss brushed a hair behind Ruby’s ear. “We’ll handle that if and when it happens, love.”

“Weiss…”

Weiss kissed her. “We’ve made it through much worse. I’m certain, Ruby, that together, we can handle it.”

Ruby’s silver eyes sparkled. “I love you, Weiss.” She gave her a gentle peck on the lips. Weiss’s fingers tingled at her touch. 

“Hey!” Yang called out. “If you two aren’t busy making my future niece--”

“--or my future nephew--” Blake cut in.

“--we gotta get going!”

“You’re an ass, Yang Xiao Long!” Weiss snapped. Then, grudgingly, she admitted: “but I still love you.”

Yang beamed. “Aww, love ya too, Snowflake.” She reached out her hand, pulling Weiss to her feet. She offered Ruby a hand as well, but her sister had found a fallen branch from one of the redwoods to push herself to her feet. 

It was a nice branch, but Weiss barely noticed it. Her eyes were more occupied by Ruby’s nervous fidgeting, rubbing at the twigs and knots in the bark. She’d already plucked several pine needles from it in her aimless fidgeting. God, Weiss loved those hands so much.

It wouldn’t be until long after they’d moved in that Ruby would set that branch back down in the dirt where she’d found it, a rainbow flag tied loosely to it, billowing in the gentle wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLy SHiT we wrapped this up. This fic has been living in my head every day for the last six months, but now that it's over, I'm almost sad to see it end. A special thanks to everybody who's been reading along and commenting this whole time -- you made my own quarantine so much more bearable. It's been an honor writing with all of you in mind, and I hope this quick epilogue is a satisfying goodbye to this fic after all this time.
> 
> With that out of the way, I'm planning on writing some short fluffy and smutty oneshots set in the quarantine-verse as long as I'm quarantining IRL, so while the fic is done, have no fear -- I'm not finished with these characters and this setting just yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading all the way to the end! I hope you enjoyed.


End file.
